The hardest challenge yet

boultdj

Sorry you've had bad news, but well done on putting your own health first.
Enjoy your meal, after all life is for living.
And your doing great with bringing down the food shopping bill, pity the beer bill is higher, but like you said, it's his way of coping but I would like to ask, is it the amount that's drunk gone up a lot? Or is it better quality/ higher priced? Or a mixture of both? Just thinking of when my Dad was alive, he liked aged single malt, nothing younger than 15 years and even in sales I use to pay £30-35 out for a 20 year old malt, so that would make a difference.

elantan

helensbiggestfan said:

Hi Elantan.  It's me LL. I had to change my details because I was locked out, so yes I'm not that keen on the new site either.  Hey ho.  

Sorry to hear that you have some bad news but good to hear that your resolve hasn't weakened because of it.  That speaks volumes about your new determination and positive attitude.  Doubtless there will be times when you are tempted to spend a little more than is ideal but don't torture yourself. Life throws us curved balls. What matters is not that we stumble and falter but what really counts is how soon we pick ourselves up and start again.  

as the oldJapanese saying goes "Fall 7 times, get up 8 times". 

Keep going, you are doing well. 

Hi LL, 
Isnt it such a pain? but I am sure i will slowly get used to it, still eating as healthy as i can and it appears to be showing, I have started to get comments in the " i can see a difference in you" and I have started wearing a smaller size scrub so that is something, I can even close my leads over a wee bit better lol, so yes I am sticking with it

elantan

dreaming said:

It sounds as if you have a lot going on at the moment - hope things get resolved quickly for you, or you find the strength to see it through.  Wise of Mr El to visit the doctor and I think you should definitely not worry too much about cutting down at the moment.  Best wishes.

p.s. I don't mind the new format at all - in fact I think I probably prefer it.

balabooberlies said:

Hi Elantan
Boy do you have a short memory !
When you started this thread you were spending 8 HUNDRED a month.  Look at you now.......... you wonderful girl.
Bala
X

Siebrie said:

Good for you, deciding to enjoy the next meal out! And already looking forward to the one in March! And figuring out that someone in the household is drinking a lot... Is there any way you can inform the doctor of your worries? Alcohol may interfere with the medication, for instance by having unwanted side effects. Will your husband tell the doctor the correct number of units? Does your husband know how many units per day/week he's drinking?

Hi all, I think I have figured out how to multiple quote now, but bear with me if i'm wrong, I am hoping for the strength to see it through and worried about myself as well, when i was 39 we had a (less) stressful period in our lives and when it was over i had a TIA so this time i have to ensure i dont deal with everything like i did last time, i am generally the go to fixer of things the one that is relied upon, but this time i cant, i cant risk another TIA or worse a stroke, so i am taking a less involved part, but I am still involved. Hubby has an alcohol dependency problem, the dr is aware of it and he has went for counselling in the past, i had ai discussion with him over the course of the weekend and pointed out that over 100 had been spent on alcohol and none of it was me, he was in denial at first so i just mentioned it then left it. He then started talking to me about it last night we will see, in the grand scheme of things right now i cant do anything for him and he has to do it for himself, I have told him i am not going to nurse him when i retire if any illness is alcohol driven, he knows i have a lot of living to do and intend on doing it, if he chooses to join me fine if not his loss, I have started planning an adventure for next year one that i know he would enjoy, so the ball is in his court, we will see. 

I know Bala, 

I really need to cut myself more slack we did spent £800 a month and often more than that so we are doing really well, i need to learn patience and plodding, thank you for the reminder. 

Siebrie the meal out, 

Oh the meal out, well i messaged friend on the Saturday and confirmed we were meeting, then went to the restaurant on the Sunday texted her to let her know, then grabbed a table and told her, then waited and they were a no show, so we landed up having a lovely lunch just Oh and myself, the food was devine, the company the best and we had a ball and now i have my wedding in March to look forward to. Oh is very open with the dr about his drinking, the dr knows he has a drinking problem and the Dr is aware of the work issues that are on going, he is not aware of the other news that has shaken the family but as soon as things start moving in the right direction he will let the Dr know

Wednesday2000

Sorry to read about your bad news Elantan.xxx

It sounds like you are doing brilliantly at the budgeting though.

elantan

Ohhh the multiple quote thing worked yay. 

Sorry i havnt been on, I have been so busy with things, 
Ongoing stuff in my life... well we have started to heal as a family which is good, there have been a lot of tears and more will come, only certain close member know at this time and it will remain this way for a while. I had thought the news would have had a worse effect on me than it has, however so far i am still sticking the budget, i am not eating out and i am not drinking alcohol, husband has upped his alcohol intake but that will be an ongoing situation, surprisingly we havnt spent more money even though more has been spent on alcohol, so we must be cutting back somewhere, i will need to investigate further, but i think oh has been taking more filling food to work. 

I am in the process of planning another adventure as well as planning for our holidays this year, this year i intend to not eat out as much and not have as many takeaways while we are away, usually we just eat out most meals, in fact all meals apart from breakfast, but this year i am hoping just one or two meals out a week. Other than that life is going on, were still using cash, i am now eating at the table with my water jug at hand and my new plates and a lovely candle and wee flower vase, so the habits are slowly engraining themselves into my life, i'm wondering why now, why am i know managing this problem when before i saw it attempted to sort it but failed at every single step, oh well a worry for another day i spose.

Thinking about renewing my costco card, not sure if i should or not. Have bought myself a soda stream so that i can have carbonated water and not spend a fortune on san pelligrino, not that it will taste as nice, but it will be cheaper. 

elantan

Wednesday2000 said:

Sorry to read about your bad news Elantan.xxx

It sounds like you are doing brilliantly at the budgeting though.

Thanks Wednesday, brilliantly might be pushing it, the forumites of old style do things brilliantly, and i certainly aim for that one day, but we are doing much ,much better and i think you all have a huge part to play in that so thank you all from the bottom of my heart, i do appreciate your advice and support, every one of you. 

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

Elantan, I generally stick to a very few threads, but since the changeover & the absence of so many posters, I have taken to reading other threads 🙂

I am fully in agreement with Wednesday2000 👏 YOU ARE DOING ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANTLY 👏 👏 (sorry for shouting 😞) but I needed you to know that you are doing so well and that you should acknowledge what a determined person you are. 

Please accept my admiration for your determination & successes so far. 

MrsSD 

elantan

Thanks Mrs SD and welcome, we are certainly a huge improvement on where we were, today for example ( my day off) I managed to make 15 energy balls for work, that will see me through 15 shifts, cost of pennies compared to the amount I spent on them before from the shops... I'm now spending more time focusing on what we need to do to achieve our goal and that I think is making the difference xx

Siebrie

"we landed up having a lovely lunch just Oh and myself, the food was devine, the company the best and we had a ball"

"I have told him i am not going to nurse him when i retire if any illness is alcohol driven, he knows i have a lot of living to do and intend on doing it, if he chooses to join me fine if not his loss, I have started planning an adventure for next year one that i know he would enjoy, so the ball is in his court"

"i am now eating at the table with my water jug at hand and my new plates and a lovely candle and wee flower vase, so the habits are slowly engraining themselves into my life"

This all sounds like you are a very self-confident lady, putting self-love first, no excuses, no apologies, very stoic/zen ('I am not in control of events, but only of my reactions to events'). Excellent!

Wednesday2000

I finally got around to posting my cheque for my National Insurance contributions to HMRC.

I read this article about retirement the other day. News and MoneyPlus Blog

I feel like I have lost momentum as the goal seems so far away still. I have a book about retirement that I am going to reread for inspiration. I can't remember if I mentioned it on here. It's called How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor.