Forced out due to fear of presentations

Humdinger1

Rich

I do sympathise- fear of public speaking is very wide spread. Sounds odd, but have you tried hypnosis? I know a couple of people who this has worked for. Might it be worth getting some training from an actor, or the Toast Masters Association? The people with the most valuable contributions often feel like this; the bumptious, egotistical one who loves the sound of his own voice is a blasted menace. You might say a few words and then go to an inclusive format, take qs? I promise you, many.people in your audience would welcome a more normal conversation rather than one apparently live from the Albert Hall complete with glitter balls.
Sorry if this is sounding ludicrous but I do know some who've found some or all of this stuff helpful. When is this due to happen? Humdinger

Kim_kim

So many people dread presentations

My manager has spoken to me about how she had to suck it up and learn to do them & she is absolutely fantastic at them.
People are much better at them then we resales, we are all far harder on ourselves.
I don’t like doing them, but there are things you have to conquer, I bet you’re much better than you think.

shortcrust

I think this thread shines a light on part of the problem. It’s such a common fear that everyone thinks they know exactly how you feel and you’ll struggle to convince them that your fear is much more intense and debilitating than what they might have experienced themselves. That’s why my advice above is to be blunt and just say no without attempting to explain too much.

Illbedamned

Kim_kim wrote: »

So many people dread presentations

My manager has spoken to me about how she had to suck it up and learn to do them & she is absolutely fantastic at them.
People are much better at them then we resales, we are all far harder on ourselves.
I don’t like doing them, but there are things you have to conquer, I bet you’re much better than you think.

I bloody hated the things

I remember one at uni. i started having a panic attack in front of everyone...then got bundled into a taxi and taken to the uni doctors.

steampowered

I think your suggestion of resigning is jumping the gun a bit. Have you tried talking to the person who organises these meetings, to explain how much you are worrying about this? They probably don't realise.

If someone asks you to present at the meeting, you could arrange a face-to-face meeting to explain why that is not possible.

You could also offer possible alternatives. For example, before the meeting, you could brief the CEO with a few bullet points and speaking notes, so that he can deliver the people update?

It sounds like the only thing you've done about this so far is send an email. I think this an issue much better discussed face-to-face. I suspect people will be sympathetic once they understand the impact this has on you. People probably don't appreciate how difficult you find public speaking.

Manxman_in_exile

shortcrust wrote: »

I know it’s difficult to believe, but I’d bet a leg that you not doing a presentation is a much bigger deal to you than to everyone else.

OP - I can understand this may be difficult to believe, but the above is absolutely correct.


Also, if I understand correctly, nobody has yet told you that you have to do the presentation. I think that because you find the prospect so terrifying you are obsessing about it and you are assuming they won't let you get away with not doing it. You don't know that. As shortcrust and steampowered say, you need to talk to people about it face-to-face and explain you have a phobia. I think it would be unreasonable of them not to accept that and to force you to do it. If it's such a large organisation, nobody is going to (or should) care. I'm sure in your work you add value to the company in other ways.


I can sort of understand how you feel because I have a couple of phobias but they've never affected my work. If I was faced by something I feared as a phobia, I would do all I could to avoid it. But as others have suggested above, that may not actually be the best approach. You can't come to any harm.
The worst that can happen is that you make a complete mess of it by drying up or freezing. So what? The people who really matter and who you've told about your phobia may be tremendously impressed by your courage and think you're great: "who'd have thought they'd do so well; they're scared of public speaking, you know."


If things go wrong nobody's going to laugh at you (unless they're idiots) they'll just feel sorry for you and be momentarily embarrassed, and again, those who know will be impressed that you've done it. And you'll have conquered a personal demon.


I think you might be surprised how many "confident" public speakers are physically sick before hand.


But if you really can't do it - don't do it. (But you'll feel better if you try)

Brynsam

richdeniro wrote: »

It has got to the point where I feel I am going to have to leave, the leadership are excluding me on meetings where I should be involved, telling others that I'm not good enough and just generally finding faults in everything I do that aren't justified.

You seem to be massively over-reacting here. How much real evidence do you have that what you claim is happening is actually taking place? Have you asked why you aren't being involved in meetings if you believe you should be? Who has said what to whom about your 'not being good enough'? What faults?

You aren't being forced out at all; you are looking for a way out, hopefully with someone else to blame (at least in your own eyes), to avoid something about which you appear to be phobic.

You have two choices with a phobia: live with it and all the debilitating consequences (and handy get-outs) that entails, or confront it head on, with professional help if necessary. I hope you'll find the strength to do the latter.

coffeehound

richdeniro wrote: »

The company itself is a media company and the leadership team is very alpha-male where lots of very extroverted people work and so not particularly inclusive or sympathetic for introverts and those that have anxiety about things such as public speaking.

Hi Rich, I sympathise with your position, also having a phobia of public speaking, and previously leaving a good job due to that requirement.

However I'm going to have to say that I think it is unrealistic for you to want to retain a middle- or senior management position if you are not prepared to deliver presentations. It is a key requirement of such a position. The alpha males and females are basically right. It is one of those workplace requirements that can't be side-stepped.

As others have suggested, you might be able to overcome your phobia with some kind of therapy, but if not -- and presumably you will have already looked into such options -- then it might be best to look into other career opportunities. Sorry, but it won't get any easier.

motorguy

coffeehound wrote: »

Hi Rich, I sympathise with your position, also having a phobia of public speaking, and previously leaving a good job due to that requirement.

However I'm going to have to say that I think it is unrealistic for you to want to retain a middle- or senior management position if you are not prepared to deliver presentations. It is a key requirement of such a position. The alpha males and females are basically right. It is one of those workplace requirements that can't be side-stepped.

As others have suggested, you might be able to overcome your phobia with some kind of therapy, but if not -- and presumably you will have already looked into such options -- then it might be best to look into other career opportunities. Sorry, but it won't get any easier.

+1

An HR manager who cant talk to people? Hmmm

Marvel1

motorguy wrote: »

+1

An HR manager who cant talk to people? Hmmm

Hmm indeed.

richdeniro wrote: »

I am completely fine in meeting environments and small workshop type situations