Forced out due to fear of presentations

richdeniro

Hello all,

Just seeking a bit of advice as I fear I am being forced out of my job because I refuse to do public speaking and present to the entire company.

We have recently had a new CEO start at the company and he really likes the idea of doing of monthly presentations/all-hands to tell everyone what is going on, this is mostly done by directors and senior managers.

He and the leadership team want me as a HR manager to give an update from a People side of things but the only problem is that I have a chronic fear of public speaking, to the point that it is debilitating. I am completely fine in meeting environments and small workshop type situations but the thought of standing in front of 60 people with a microphone and powerpoint presentation fills me with dread.

I have tried everything from coaching, therapy, beta blockers, etc but have never conquered it. I have, at the age of 43 accepted it and realise it may not allow my career to progress but I have accepted that, I have also always chosen career paths and jobs where I thought it might not be an issue. I just want to do a good job otherwise. The last time I had to do something similar in a different company a few years back the anxiety was so bad that I was sick in the toilet, had a panic attack and went home.

I have bitten the bullet and wrote a long email to the CEO, my boss and a couple of others on the leadership team explaining how public speaking affects me and stating that it just isn't something I want to do. This was a couple of months ago but only my direct supervisor has spoken to me about it and suggested the usual things people suggest which are all the things I have already tried. She completely sympathises and said if it was up to her I wouldn't have to do it as she feels the rest of my work is good but says that it isn't going to go away.

I know I do a good job otherwise, go above and beyond and receive a lot of praise for all the work I do but it looks like this is going to be the thing that I am judged on. It has got to the point where I feel I am going to have to leave, the leadership are excluding me on meetings where I should be involved, telling others that I'm not good enough and just generally finding faults in everything I do that aren't justified.

I've been at the company for 4 years now and obviously working in HR know that they can't just get rid of me but I do feel I am probably going to have to leave sooner rather than later just for my own sanity and mental health. However like most people I do have a mortgage and couldn't be out of work for a long period of time, with Christmas approaching there isn't too much out there and not being CIPD qualified (I'm blitzing it but probably another 2-3 months away from finishing) means it is proving difficult to find something else.

The company itself is a media company and the leadership team is very alpha-male where lots of very extroverted people work and so not particularly inclusive or sympathetic for introverts and those that have anxiety about things such as public speaking.

I think that in the couple of weeks someone senior is likely to approach me and tell me that I'm going to have to do it and will be expected to at the next one. I'm at the point now where I am thinking I'll have to refuse and hand my notice in there and then. I just wondered if anyone might have any other suggestions or if the worst does happen and it comes to that I might have any chance in asking for some kind of settlement figure, could there be any case in constructive dismissal or something along those lines?

Thanks in advance.

Blatchford

richdeniro wrote: »

Hello all,

Just seeking a bit of advice as I fear I am being forced out of my job because I refuse to do public speaking and present to the entire company.

We have recently had a new CEO start at the company and he really likes the idea of doing of monthly presentations/all-hands to tell everyone what is going on, this is mostly done by directors and senior managers.

He and the leadership team want me as a HR manager to give an update from a People side of things but the only problem is that I have a chronic fear of public speaking, to the point that it is debilitating. I am completely fine in meeting environments and small workshop type situations but the thought of standing in front of 60 people with a microphone and powerpoint presentation fills me with dread.

I have tried everything from coaching, therapy, beta blockers, etc but have never conquered it. I have, at the age of 43 accepted it and realise it may not allow my career to progress but I have accepted that, I have also always chosen career paths and jobs where I thought it might not be an issue. I just want to do a good job otherwise. The last time I had to do something similar in a different company a few years back the anxiety was so bad that I was sick in the toilet, had a panic attack and went home.

I have bitten the bullet and wrote a long email to the CEO, my boss and a couple of others on the leadership team explaining how public speaking affects me and stating that it just isn't something I want to do. This was a couple of months ago but only my direct supervisor has spoken to me about it and suggested the usual things people suggest which are all the things I have already tried. She completely sympathises and said if it was up to her I wouldn't have to do it as she feels the rest of my work is good but says that it isn't going to go away.

I know I do a good job otherwise, go above and beyond and receive a lot of praise for all the work I do but it looks like this is going to be the thing that I am judged on. It has got to the point where I feel I am going to have to leave, the leadership are excluding me on meetings where I should be involved, telling others that I'm not good enough and just generally finding faults in everything I do that aren't justified.

I've been at the company for 4 years now and obviously working in HR know that they can't just get rid of me but I do feel I am probably going to have to leave sooner rather than later just for my own sanity and mental health. However like most people I do have a mortgage and couldn't be out of work for a long period of time, with Christmas approaching there isn't too much out there and not being CIPD qualified (I'm blitzing it but probably another 2-3 months away from finishing) means it is proving difficult to find something else.

The company itself is a media company and the leadership team is very alpha-male where lots of very extroverted people work and so not particularly inclusive or sympathetic for introverts and those that have anxiety about things such as public speaking.

I think that in the couple of weeks someone senior is likely to approach me and tell me that I'm going to have to do it and will be expected to at the next one. I'm at the point now where I am thinking I'll have to refuse and hand my notice in there and then. I just wondered if anyone might have any other suggestions or if the worst does happen and it comes to that I might have any chance in asking for some kind of settlement figure, could there be any case in constructive dismissal or something along those lines?

Thanks in advance.

Not constructive dismissal. No chance of a settlement of any kind.

I do understand the fear to an extent. But not to the extent where you will quit your job and be on benefits to avoid a presentation. Being an introvert isn’t a sickness or a disability, and I also can’t see how you get to be manager of anything, never mind HR, with no ability to do things that you aren’t, at first, comfortable with. You can sack someone, but not click a mouse and speak at the same time?

I seriously doubt that anyone is saying you are bad at things you are good at simply because you won’t do a presentation. If you build up everything and everyone to be against you, then you are simply making things much worse in your mind. Nobody said you had to be good at it. But you'll never be good at it if you don't try.

haras_nosirrah

As a compromise if you need to do a presentation with a power point and others just listen could you pre record it and it be shown to the room (with you not necessarily there) you aren't then presenting to a large room of people (it could be filmed with a handful to give you an audience) but your presentation is still done

TELLIT01

The situation the OP is in isn't simply a case of being introverted. I'm fairly introverted too, but actually feel more uncomfortable in smaller groups when I don't know a majority of the people. I am happy to do public speaking, and have done so to an auditorium with several hundred attendees, and done it without notes.
That doesn't mean I expect everybody to do it. The son of a close friend can speak easily to a small group, but put him in front of 20 or 30 and the stammer which he thought he had defeated years ago came back and he literally couldn't get more than one or two words out.
Forcing somebody to do something they believe they are not capable of doing is basically bullying. The problem here though is who does an HR manager go to when the person doing the bullying is the CEO?

[Deleted User]

TELLIT01 wrote: »

The problem here though is who does an HR manager go to when the person doing the bullying is the CEO?

It's the same at a small company with no hr dept. Tuesday walked into a cross email from director, (the kind that made me query if I should just depart) later that day I ended up in boardroom, said my piece and then apologised if I spoke out of turn as face to face things weren't as I would have first read them.

Wasn't easy hearing that my weakness is not asking for help which was becoming part of the frustration to the company. The OP wouldn't be with the company if they were really looking for him/her to fail.

username901

Probably too late now by the sounds of it, but I agree with person above. If you have this situation again I'd pre-record and play it back as a YouTube or Vimeo video as a compromise and offer to be there for any questions

rolled_gold

I reckon you'd need to see if you were ever given a job description and whether there was any intimation in that that you'd be expected to do public speaking - or it could very loosely say something along the lines of 'any other duties that are deemed necessary'.
Doesn't sound particularly like bullying unless they are directly undermining you / your position, which so far they haven't by just asking you to do it.
If it feels like you get to a point where it is harassment then speak to ACAS if you don't have a senior colleague you can talk to. However having spoken to them about various matters before it's very difficult to say something is harassment / bullying unless it's discrimination based on the norms - sex / age / race / disability / sexual orientation etc.

Savvy_Sue

OP, if you were able to record the presentation, would you be OK answering questions on it? If you would, another suggestion would be to see if you could co-write with one of your team and let them present, with you on hand to answer questions etc. All part of developing your team. ;-)

richdeniro

Thanks for all the replies. I don't think doing it as a YouTube vid is an option as it's not really done in that kind of format, it is also streamed to the other offices we have around the world and the HR managers in those locations give updates from their side - it's why I'm being more pressured doing into doing it recently. The last couple of months I have done the slides and another member from the leadership team did the actual presentation but because the other HR managers in those locations are doing the ones for their office I think the CEO and leadership team here are going to make me do it regardless.

shortcrust

My advice would be to be fairly unapologetic about it and just state as matter of fact that you don’t do public speaking because it makes you physically ill. Long emails to the CEO and the like are just inflating its importance. Offer alternatives - a video, a member of your team etc - but remain firm that you won’t be doing it. Keep it short. I know it’s difficult to believe, but I’d bet a leg that you not doing a presentation is a much bigger deal to you than to everyone else.

Marcon

You say you've tried everything, but would you consider trying a bit more? https://www.briantracy.com/blog/public-speaking/27-useful-tips-to-overcome-your-fear-of-public-speaking/ is not a bad starting point, not least for the opening sentence, which should give you a good idea of just how well the writer knows the fear!

From what you've said, it sounds as if you don't have a fear, you have a phobia - and the good news is the phobias can be treated very successfully, particularly if you use a technique known as flooding. Hypnosis also helps. Have you tried either of these, consistently and whole-heartedly?

What is interesting in your post is your reference to 'the thought of standing in front of 60 people with a microphone and powerpoint presentation fills me with dread.' Have you ever managed to work out exactly what it is about public speaking that is freaking you out? If the panic sets in when you have to Give A Presentation, then don't. Do something else. Issue a reasonably short handout and say you'll do a Q&A session based on that.

I do hope you will find a way round this, because the feeling of elation you'll get when you manage your first 'impossible' presentation, talk, Q&A or whatever will be out of all proportion to the event - I don't much like the word 'empowering' but that's exactly what it will be. Better than quitting and being out of work.