CMS Variations

Accountant_Kerry

Mr_GoldMine wrote: »

'verbatim', that is the exact wording on the ex's personal statement filed in the UK family court, no doubt to defame my character in front of magistrates.... but to her own family to appear as a victim... she claims was 'kicked out'


anyhow. i guess its cheaper if the child is living with me as opposed to living elsewhere...


how do we achieve a balance... i mean on one hand ive got to pay maintenance and on the other im trying hard to not let little one down by presenting myself to her... unless you're thinking 'just pay the money and forget building a relationship! you should have thought twice about having a child its all your fault!'


families need fathers too you know, in the long run i mean for comfort/solace/guidance/wisdom and not just for cash!,

policies in the UK will change, its just a matter of when, we are well behind times here as they've only written up plans recently but parental alienation has been around for a loong loong time.


a more fairer system for CMS is needed, ive heard the ex is claiming xyz benefits, cheating self assesment tax claims, working part time, going to apply for a one bed council house (to later buy outright on behalf of her family), ex lives in parents house worth 3 million pounds. doesnt quite add up does it? to top it off the ex's mom looks after our kid.

Why are you so bothered about your ex, what she does is not really any of your business unless it directly impacts your relationship with your child. stop worrying about what money she may or may not have and focus on yourself and improving your situation .

Mr_GoldMine

Why are you so bothered about your ex, what she does is not really any of your business unless it directly impacts your relationship with your child. stop worrying about what money she may or may not have and focus on yourself and improving your situation .

if you have any suggestions to how I can improve myself and fulfill my rights, please do let me know.


I was just looking for advice, options and trying to plan a financially sustainable approach which both assists my daughter and myself. God forbid I cant sustain the contact due to finance, daughter and father both lose out on contact... but that probably doesn't matter that much to many people.

FBaby

Good on you to not give up. If it was always the mum's intention to not have you in the picture, she had easy by indeed delaying the process, knowing that it would then take months for your child to feel comfortable around you.

What are you longer term plan though? Will you continue to travel to London and then stay there every other week-end? Sadly, all this is going to cost a lot of money.

It's a tough one because unless you decide to move to London yourself, building a bond and relationship with your child is inevitably going to be costly and you'll have to make some compromises on other things to be a good dad to your child.

I think you can get some level of reduction for travel, but I don't think it will be the full amount and you can forget about the cost of food (and indeed, that's ridiculous). In any case, it's not going to be much of a reduction when you take all you'll need to pay in the next 18 years, especially if you are going to be in your child's life.

I hope you stick to it though as many fathers in your circumstances give up the fight, which come as a relief at the time, but come to bite them later on as they live with the regrets of not having a relationship with their kid, at a time that it means a lot more to them than it did at the time.