Don’t know what to say

Murphybear

Hi everybody.

I live in an over 60s development, about 30 of us. One of the occupants had to have her dog put down. It was fairly sudden and he was 12. I’m a cat person and 12 isn’t old for a cat but I’m not sure about dogs.

The dog was lovely, very friendly, gentle and didn’t bark very often. Everybody in the court loved him

I am going to get a card but am not sure exactly what to say/what not to say. Im sure some of you will sadly have in this position so can make a few suggestions. She doesn’t drive and we would happily give her a lift if she wants to get a new dog but I’m not sure if that would be appropriate at this stage.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to any thoughts

Dymphna60

Very much what you you would say about the loss of a human.
Sorry to hear about- doggie name -
He was such a gentle / friendly dog and maybe a particular remembrance eg I liked to see him chasing his ball or whatever.
I wouldn’t mention another dog just now . A bit like offering to take a new widow speed dating.

gettingtheresometime

Our dog died suddenly back in June and I got annoyed about the number of people who, after commiserating about his death, then asked would we be getting another one.

He wasn't a pair of slippers.

I agree with Dymphna60 ....the dog was a member of the friend's family.

sheramber

I agree.Offer your sympathy and comment on the dog's good points. How you will miss seeing them arounsd of appropriate,

If she is now on her own pay her a visit as she will be feeling lonely without her companion. Take her a bunch of flowers.

Do not mention another dog unless she does. Some people want another right away, other don't

mangog

This is so lovely! I'm sure she will really appreciate the gesture. I agree, just express how sorry you are, and mention how much everyone loved the dog and will miss having them around.

onwards&upwards

Just say sorry for your loss, as you would for any other bereavement. A sympathy card would be lovely, nobody usually bothers for a pet but the loss is enormous.

Murphybear

Thank you all for the ideas.

Most of the occupants of our court are widows/widowers and quite a few rely on their pets for every day companionship

gettingtheresometime

Murphybear

It might be an idea for people to pop over to see her perhaps a little more frequently than normal because we found the house very empty afterwards.

Now is not the time but when it feels right there are other options than getting another dog she may want to consider- volunteering with the cinnamon trust or dog fostering with the dogs trust for example

Artytarty

Someone that my Mum didn't now very well dropped off a card for her when she went through the same thing,
It was very much appreciated.

TripleH

Might also be worth inviting her to yours for a tea/coffee/etc?

Dogs are very social and need fresh air and with her dog's passing it could be quite easy for her to not leave the house as that reason has gone, particularly if she is grieving.

Katiehound

You don't need to buy a sympathy card, just write a few thoughts in a letter or on a notelet will be be quite sufficient. The most important thing is that you have noticed and you have cared- a pet isn't just 'any old thing' a pet is a very important family member.

Actually I would mention , at the end, something like
"If or when you decide the time is right to get another pet we would be happy to be your chauffeurs."

In the meantime perhaps offer a trip out to tea, garden centre , whatever if you think the lady is not venturing out. When I lose a pet I am never in,seems I can't cope with a dogless house.

Because I have 2 dogs when one has died I have had to replace them speedily because the remaining hound is pining away for doggy companionship.