A major bank has been refusing to let me withdraw £10k of family savings for over one month

Andysandy

Well, you are again exaggerating

I don't think too many people or the forum rules ask for a "Mumsnet approach", whatever that might be! But yes, it isn't too much to ask for expressing your views politely. Accusing someone of lying right off the bat is essentially useless as all it does is discourage further engagement and drive off other posters from asking for help. Whereas, looking for facts politely is more likely to help constructive engagement.

eskbanker wrote: »

Yes, I wasn't making any attempt to conceal my opinion!

I take your point but don't see it as equally applicable both ways - my issue is that the arm-round-the-shoulder Mumsnet approach is essentially useless, in that a kneejerk emotive reaction doesn't really move anybody any further forward, whereas looking for facts is more likely to help identify constructive actions.

Retired_Mortgage_Adviser

All of us have biases and I think we all see what we want to see.

As an unabashed consumer champion (based on a too-long career dealing with financial institutions and regulations) I probably see things differently than others who see the forum as full of crybabies who can't take responsibility.

eskbanker

Andysandy wrote: »

Well, you are again exaggerating

I don't think too many people or the forum rules ask for a "Mumsnet approach", whatever that might be! But yes, it isn't too much to ask for expressing your views politely. Accusing someone of lying right off the bat is essentially useless as all it does is discourage further engagement and drive off other posters from asking for help. Whereas, looking for facts politely is more likely to help constructive engagement.

To me the reference to 'accusing someone of lying' is also an exaggeration - it's not unusual for posters to be challenged along the lines of 'there must be more to this than what's been shared so far' but that's not accusing someone of lying, it's just trying to dig further to help posters get to root causes. Do you have any specific quotable examples of the sort of accusations you're thinking of?

eskbanker

Retired_Mortgage_Adviser wrote: »

All of us have biases and I think we all see what we want to see.

As an unabashed consumer champion (based on a too-long career dealing with financial institutions and regulations) I probably see things differently than others who see the forum as full of crybabies who can't take responsibility.

Now who's exaggerating?

Not sure who you're accusing of seeing the forum as full of crybabies who can't take responsibility, but that's not how I see it, at least not in the context of those posting about having their accounts blocked. There are undoubtedly some posters who are reluctant to accept responsibility in other areas (such as those seeking to evade liability for debts, for example), just as there are posters who'll sometimes overstep the mark in calling them out on it!

Andysandy

Yes, I wasn't making any attempt to conceal my view either! The example of the post that was taken down. If memory serves correctly, it conveyed that the poster was lying and expressed surprise as to why the mods had allowed it on the board. And this was literally the first response to the post.

Again, quite clearly, our opinions are likely to differ considerably on what constitutes an acceptable way to "help" someone, falling on completely different ends of the spectrum. And I don't think either of us will convince the other to change their minds

eskbanker wrote: »

To me the reference to 'accusing someone of lying' is also an exaggeration - it's not unusual for posters to be challenged along the lines of 'there must be more to this than what's been shared so far' but that's not accusing someone of lying, it's just trying to dig further to help posters get to root causes. Do you have any specific quotable examples of the sort of accusations you're thinking of?

Retired_Mortgage_Adviser

Haha indeed!

eskbanker wrote: »

Now who's exaggerating?

eskbanker

Andysandy wrote: »

Yes, I wasn't making any attempt to conceal my view either! The example of the post that was taken down. If memory serves correctly, it conveyed that the poster was lying and expressed surprise as to why the mods had allowed it on the board. And this was literally the first response to the post.

Again, quite clearly, our opinions are likely to differ considerably on what constitutes an acceptable way to "help" someone, falling on completely different ends of the spectrum. And I don't think either of us will convince the other to change their minds

To be honest I don't think we're miles apart or that this is a massive spectrum - I'm not trying to deny that there will be occasions when someone oversteps the mark, but am just challenging the notion that this is typical or frequent, which is presumably why only one post was removed.

The rules and etiquette reproduced above are there for all to see, but ultimately it's a discussion forum where there will be different opinions expressed, sometimes fairly robustly. However, as long as this is done in a courteous way without getting personal, there should be room for constructive debate!

Andysandy

100% agree with you on this point!

eskbanker wrote: »

However, as long as this is done in a courteous way without getting personal, there should be room for constructive debate!

jonesMUFCforever

Well here we are two full pages of being nice to one another or not but not a single post that replies to the original post.

Ben8282

jonesMUFCforever wrote: »

Well here we are two full pages of being nice to one another or not but not a single post that replies to the original post.

I guess that is because, apart from a rather odd suggestion that the OP may be on some sort of register, nobody has the faintest idea of why this has happened or why it has been going on for so long. The OP insists that there has been no unusual activity on their part etc so what can anybody actually say?