Old Style Ways and Poor Health part 2.

mothernerd

It's DS2 and his Beloved who are having the baby and it's due in July. DS2 phoned me last Friday to update me on his dad - if he gets out of hospital this time he will need to go into some sort of assisted living so DS1, his wife and the grand-puppy went their dad's flat on Saturday to box all his stuff up. DS2 and his Beloved will collect a couple of boxes every time they go visiting - mummy to be is already past being able to carry heavy boxes or do more than half a day. At some point they will transport the boxes to DS1's for storing. The can get from South Manchester (bit posher actually , they're over the border in Cheshire) to the middle of North Wales in an hour and 10 minutes. It takes them over half an hour to get from Sale to DS1's house (near the gloriously named (Boggart's Hole Clough). They seem to have the house ready for the baby.

DS3 and his beloved will never have children (the grand-chinchillas are enough). She's been campaigning to get her tubes tied for several years, first they said she had to wait until she was 30, then COVID happened and now she barely leaves the house.

Did I say I resisted buying a doll's house from a cs yesterday - it was £5.99. Would have had to repaper and tone down the pink so I just kept telling myself I didn't have the space (even if it could be used as bookshelves meanwhile)

beanielou

My apologies mothernerd.

mothernerd

It's fine. I'm not sure what to call them myself. D-i-l is fine, daughter-out-law and mother-out-law suit me. I started saying DS3 and his Beloved so that people wouldn't think she was my Beloved - not that there would be anything wrong in that, but she's not. I'm just so happy that they are all with people who make them happy, they're all lovely.

DS2 is the most recent to pair off, he had a bad break up in his first year at university and I did worry about him for a long while. He likes to brag about them meeting at the start of the pandemic 'Whilst other people were fighting over toilet rolls, I went out and bagged myself a thoracic specialist.'  Their pregnancy story is huge fun. She explained that they had the conversation very early in the relationship - she didn't want to go out with someone for 5 years and then find they didn't want children. when they'd been together for a while, their thinking went 'okay it takes people a few months to get pregnant, it might take us longer because we're a bit older (mid thirties) and then we might end up having to go the IVF route - no, the baby happened the first month they stopped taking precautions'.

dustydigger

Hello people! Just thought I'd pop in to say hi and tell you how much I have enjoyed reading this thread.

I too have a host of illnesses. My OH just says each morning,''Whats wrong with you today?'' and most days  I have a different cocktail of symptoms. RA,diabetes,underactive thyroid and ,pernicious anaemia all have a delightful (not) collection of  things to plague me with. Nice to see a thread that somewhat pushes aside or ignores unpleasant things and still finds joy and fun in life.

.......lesson there me I think..........

pollyanna_26

Welcome dustydigger. I'm slowly dragging myelf back to the threads I normally post on as I've been struggling with pian and insomnia, The last few days I've done the odd post during the night and have had to edit an average 4 times then noticed there were still typos, missing and mixed up letters and I couldn't face editing one more time.

The first poor health thread was very busy with lots of regular posters, all sorts of hints and tips but it would begin to go quiter towards winter when many started to struggle just getting through the days.

This part 2 has been quieter but I think the Pandemic has caused that. Many ECV people like my youngest dd  are still under Drs orders becuse whatever BJ says the virus is still out there so are other illnesses which may not impact many but can and do flatten the ECV, Elderly and others including children,

We didn't get out and hug each other either Christmas's or so called freedom days. We followed the advice of Chris Whitty and apart from dd and her BF having 2 scares which tested negative and proved to be flu he'd possiby picked up shopping in the village they've been fine and so have I.

They order everything onine now and have a wander now and then to the nearby sandhills tourists and many locals don't know are there.

She is with her Boyfriend because when her Dr phoned shortly before the news broke and ordered her to stay indoors we both knew she wouldn't cope without seeing her boyfriend or the cats they'd rescued. We had no idea how long the situation would last so I took her there. There's a huge garden at the front we initially sat in on sunny days but  a bigger on at the back so she can sit out there or wander round looking at the flowers.

I had a conducted tour a couple of days ago with the big ginger mog showing me all the flowers and plants. I was looking at the lawn which was in lovely condition and he was looking too then set off running across it looking back at me every now and then. He started shouting at me and it took a while for the penny to drop. Last year and the year before he;d invented a game. He would run across the lawn and I had to chase him then he'd run the much llonger length of the lawn and we had to run there and back.

I'd done a big shop in my little Coop so was exhausted by then so said sorry Stimps Nanna can't run today and he started shouting at me and outdid his sister who is prone to the odd hissy fit.

I sais time to go home and that didn't help' He refused to come back indoors with me so I went back inside on my own. No sign of him when I left. No doubt he'd scaled the high wall to the nursing home next door . He'd already turned himself in to an assistance cat for his old ladies next door and the staff had to start leaving a side door open during lockdowns because he'd been visiting there for years and couldn't understand why it was closed up.

DD discovered a while ago his ladies provide him with cheese dreamies she had to ban a long time ago. Crack Cocaine for cats she calls them and they made pretty manic belting his much smaler sister to steal hers then shouting at everyone when he'd eaten them all/

I found soft sticks in the Coop which help look after cats teeth so he gets the meat and Mags the fish ones. He still tries to steal hers but for a tiny cat she's very good at giving him a sharp smack on the nose and a good shout at him,

MN I think your link worker is right You are putting everyone elses needs before your own. I did the same thing over decades as Superdoc helped us in the long fight for the correct MH diagnosis and the best meds and treatments for the physical illnesses.

In more recent times i began to encourage her to handle certain things herself.

She went alone for her jabs except her flu jab at the surgery she was having her smear test that day and sometimes is realy weak and wobbly after that so asked me to go with her.

She coped going alone to her appts with the BUPA dentist she had to resort to when there were no NHS practises takeng on patients.

She was very upset when the Dentist told her was leaving. She's still on the waiting list so in pain and upset but isn't making a fuss.

Something I've had in mind for a number of years is the need to help her towards coping and she's doing it in a number of ways.

None of us will live for ever but after decades of her needing constant care I now believe she will cope.

Her trying to sort something out with ESA on the dreaded phone was a surprise so she's going from baby steps to bigger steps.

It is pointless having counselling etc for your physical and mental health without helping it work. Still pushing yourself too hard works against that help and advice so you'll just be going around in ever exhausting circles.

pollyx

dustydigger

Hi Polly! Call me Dusty

I see the ginger mog was fully in charge.Typical

Do you some times feel you are living in a dream? I am totally immune compromised,and have pretty much been in lockdown for the whole covid period. I saw my brother in law,a cousin,a friend and a neighbour die of covid,and my son's good friend(he was only 42), a big strong lad,yet he slipped away within 10 days. When I have seen all the maskless people going to pubs and football matches etc,and a deliberate effort by the government to achieve herd immunity by hook or crook,I think of the hundreds of people a week who are STILL dying from the disease,and no one giving a damn really.Seems that total denial is everywhere.

pollyanna_26

I always think if cats ever manage to develop thumbs they'll rule the world Dusty. Stimps- big ginger mog has a tiny thumb and we were horrified when dd first noticed it. Luckily little Magrat doesn't have even a tiny thumb which is good as she's the plotter and thinker and can hold a grudge for years.

Jacinda Arden PM of NZ had a Cat with thumbs and we used to follow his adventures online. Sadly he was run over one day and it was very sad.

Like you my dd has felt she's been in lockdown since that first phone call from our GP just before the news broke. Stay indoors , don't go out and I'll phone back later.

We found ourselves raging at the TV every time the lecterns appeared. Chris Whitty who helped fight Ebola and many other killer diseases was our voice of reason. A proper Scientist without a personal agenda he and our GP were the only ones we took notice of.throughout.

We've seen the very best and the worst of humanity. We picked up on Herd Immunity early on. It's cruel using animals in a lab to experiment on and the same for human beings.

We live just over 20  miles above Liverpool City and as a tourist town got the backlash from the international Footbal Match they played at the start. of the Pandemic. Thousands of fans from Madrid marched as usual through the city by the police to Anfield.

An open stadium, no social distancing , masks etc just thousands singing and shouting as in normal times

Many fans from abroad stay for mini breaks in different parts of the NW and different patrs of the UK if their team is playing here.

Quite a lot came to our seaside town and we were straight in to Level 4 and lockdown.

I often wonder how history will view this time if we haven't al been killed off.

I've found it disgusting as BJ has travelled around with his dressing up box pretending to drive a JCB , help in a hospital and drive a Blackppol Tram . When I saw the tram I said to dd youngest he better not come here and he didn't.

Alll his hard hats and flouresnt jackets were ridiculous . My son a senior mainline  train driver and young driver instructer said he'll have to fight me for my jacket. he along with my two older dds was a frontline worker like so many others including the NHS which will probably never be the same again.

I'm so sorry you have lost many dear to you. So far apart from a good friend from the 70s who I was close to and worked with for a number of years  who suddenly lost her life to Covid the winter before last. She lived just over the road from me but it wasn't until a neighbour told me when I was wondering how she was that I found out . We'd all been following the rules limiting going out, social distancing and wearing masks so it came as a shock to hear she'd died.

i was told her other half had done a runner when she became ill and her daughter moved out and it was heartbreaking to think of a chatty. lively very funny person abandoned just a few minutes away. I couldn't have visited her but could have found out if she was up to emails or phone calls.

I don't know if she passed away at home or in hospital but her daughter made short work of selling the house and buying another.

i've seen good times and bad in my lifetime but never imagined times like this.

Look after yourself and take care.

pollyx

dustydigger

Polly,I am just so happy that I had Mr Dusty as companion,even though we have been close to murdering each other at time All those poor souls living on their own had a hard furrow to plough.

Its been hard not seeing much of my family - 4 kids,6 grandkids and 5 great grandkids,but my family have really been supercareful with  Mr D and me,but they all got together sometimes,and 3 months ago 3 of my children,4 grandkids and all 5 great grandkids caught it within a short time. Fortunately none had visited me in that time period,and they did get this more contagious but less vicious mutation,though one of the twins,then 18 months, was quite poorly.

Precovid everyone congregated at my house each Saturday,and its been hard and lonely in a way.

The other day I was the only person on a bus with 30 passengers who was wearing a mask. I was getting odd looks,but I dont care,my health is so bad(check my Frugal Fortnights  Return  thread to hear more) why would I take any risk unnecessarily?

Take care,and treat those cats very well,lest they take evil revenge

pollyanna_26

dustydigger said:

Polly,I am just so happy that I had Mr Dusty as companion,even though we have been close to murdering each other at time All those poor souls living on their own had a hard furrow to plough.

Its been hard not seeing much of my family - 4 kids,6 grandkids and 5 great grandkids,but my family have really been supercareful with  Mr D and me,but they all got together sometimes,and 3 months ago 3 of my children,4 grandkids and all 5 great grandkids caught it within a short time. Fortunately none had visited me in that time period,and they did get this more contagious but less vicious mutation,though one of the twins,then 18 months, was quite poorly.

Precovid everyone congregated at my house each Saturday,and its been hard and lonely in a way.

The other day I was the only person on a bus with 30 passengers who was wearing a mask. I was getting odd looks,but I dont care,my health is so bad(check my Frugal Fortnights  Return  thread to hear more) why would I take any risk unnecessarily?

Take care,and treat those cats very well,lest they take evil revenge

it's been strange here too over the last couple of years, Close family were always home for Christmas and extended family would arrive on Boxing Day buffet, Al the leftovers and I would make huge trifles lots of sausage rolls would bake potatoes to go with the remains of the roast  and all sorts of other things. They would bring their contributions to the feast and everything would be laid out on the big farmouse table in the dining room and they'd wander in and out loading their plates.

One family memeber who loved trifle wandered in and out with their dish and ended up eating the whole trifle. Shortly afterwards

I he was rushing to the bathroom and was well and truly sick. We all just started laughing though I did think it was a bit of a waste of my effort making that lovely big trifle.

I was alone both llast Christmas and the one before although I'd been invited to my eldest dds in Yorkshire she offered to come and pick me up and youngests dds nearer home. i was adamant I was staying put to protect others as well as myself.

It was strange I always loved Christmas and decoarating the tree and inside the house. We always did that on Christmas Eve and for years had real grown in Scotland trees, I'd order when the previous tree with roots grew too big to bring in the house when it grew too big to get inside, They used to live outdoors in big pots until Christmas Eve.

I still have some now planted in the back garden and the memories live on.

The only time there was never Christmas in my lifewas when I was 15 my beloved dad had been very ill for long time and was in hospital myself and younger sisters weren't allowed to visit.

I was daddys girl and the day before Christmas Eve my mum and her older sister told me to get ready I was going to visit him.

I was taken to the bed neareast the door- it was years later I learned about beds near the door.. he was 51 his hair was thinner and greyer and it took me a while to recognise him as my dad.

He knew me and reached out his hand and told me he'd be home next day Chirstmas Eve. He put a £5 note in my hand I'd never handled one of those and said get something nice for your mum and you girls for Christmas.

He didn't get home I had spent the night wondering what nice things everyone could have out of that £5. next morning the Christmas tree and decorations had gone and I was told he had died not long after we left and I was to go and let my favourite Auntie.

I think my mum was in shock. it was a long way to my aunties and she didn't give me any bus fare. I called for my best friend and we waked there together although we should have been in school.

Over the last couple of years I've found I have had too much time to think and remember the past and have spent time trying to figure out things during various rimes in my life. Including what happened to me when my brother died young when I was 3 years old and waved him and the ambulencemen off on one of his normal admissions  to hospitals and my next memory was finding myself outside a strange house and what turned out to be street party going on. It took a much older cousin who'd emigrated to Australis the day after her wedding on one of the £10 passages in the 50s to explain that I'd asked many favourite relatives until I asked her much younger cousin same age as me and she said I'll ask out Marie she's the keeper of all the family records and Marie explained where I had been and why.

I've been wondering about your user name are you a fan of Dusty Springfield? After my wondering where i had been I started to wonder about other things and the Goin' Back song came into my head . I actually ordered the CD and started a Goin' Back thread. I posted a coupe of times then forgot about it until  looking at your user name today.

Re sausages there are quite a few OS posters around the NE so it might be worth making a thread asking if anyone can recommend a decent butcher.

Finally your mention of Ibuprofen. I refused all the strong medication dd has as i couldn't be zonked out to try to look after her. i was still teadching then moved to a part time job. The only thing that kept me mobile was Ibuprofen and I took it daily for a number of years when I went to the GP about stomach cramps  investigations revealed I had stomach ulcers and was warned never to take it again, Some people are ok with it others not so worth keeping an eye on.

pollyx

Eta if I'm outside I wear a mask if I'm in a shop or other indoor space I'm wearing a mask; It makes sense.

dustydigger

Polly,I am the only living child of my parents.My last sister died in 2017.  I have plenty of offspring and more sprigs on the family tree,but all the older generation plus my 3 siblings are gone, I have a couple of cousins whom I only see at family funerals. so its a bit of a lonely feeling.

No,I'm not named after Dusty,whose music I adored right from ''Island of Dreams'' (1962) ''Son of a Preacher Man'' is another favourite.

No dustydigger has 3 sources 1. I was the person rooting in the dusty boxes in old style second hand book shops for gems 2. I used to go on archaeological digs in my teens.I have fond memories of being on a dig in Jarrow,scraping off the soil from the skeleton of a mediaeval monk .You definitely get dusty - and muddy - down in the trenches. I quite enjoyed watching CSI and forensic science crime stories,I felt an affinity for their work 3/ I did a lot of research on my family tree way back,when you had to go to archives and look through dusty record books to locate your ancestors,and ruined your eyes trying to read the worn tiny print. So much easier today,all neatly transcribe for you.

So my ''dustydigger''  has a lot of connotations but I like people to call me Dusty

Re ibuprofen and all painkillers I hate them,and avoid them if at all possible.Ibuprofen is about the only one I can bear.I know about the dangers,but a couple every other month is OK The stronger painkillers to combat my strong arthritic pain I rarely take,I have to be in dire straits before I'll take any,then only perhaps for one day.

I particularly hate co codomol,tramadol and the like. I was in hospital for my knee replacement,and we came off a drip and were given doses of tramadol by mouth,which I hadnt heard of at the time. We were bed ridden and I had nothing to do but read(big surprise there) As usual we were getting washed etc at an ungodly hour. then had our first tablets of the day. I was beginning a new book,and throughout the day read sporadically ,in between watching the never ending parade of staff then visitors,At about 5pm I checked up and had only read 17 pages. In  a whole day.I asked the nurse what we were taking and she said tramadol. I lost a whole day,which frightened the hell out of me.That night I refused the dose,had  only paracetemol,and suffered an awful night,but I hate not having my full faculties. codeine based strong painkillers actually gives me hallucinations,disorientation or bad dreams etc. I would never be  much of a druggie!

Having had RA since I was 17,pain is an old familiar companion,but I'd rather be sharp than painless!I have found the brain fog etc of underactive thyroid and pernicious anaemia these last few years much more distressing than my aches and pains.