Old Style Ways and Poor Health part 2.

mothernerd

Your new flat sounds ideal TxMx. I had all the plugs moved to waist height when I rewired last, the way they would be in a factory. The electricians looked at me as though I'd a screw loose but I said if they'd had to struggle in a tight corner trying to set up a playstation and small tv (lying on a bunk bed with my hand between the end bars and not able to see what I was doing was one of my favourites), they'd do it too. It also helps those of us with intelligent children (not bragging, it has drawbacks too) who figure out the winged safety plugs within days and when you replace them with bog standard flat ones, a day later find them attempting to prise it off using a butter knife.

Anyway that's all long gone. For those who haven't met me before, I'm mothernerd. I have multiple health conditions.  Diabetes is at a crisis stage - 3 months to reverse my last blood test results or I'll be on insulin rather than pills (and the 3 months is up sometime in May). Long term Depression (dating back as far as childhood but not given a label until my late teens). My normal medication lets me get up in the morning, the rest is up to me - I normally manage to be happy each day. However last September I reached rock bottom mentally and physically and knew I needed help. I've done a 6 week group CBT session, then went on the 8 week waiting list for 121 therapy, and had my initial assessment last week (not sure it went that well, actually).

I have obstructive sleep apnoea, probably all my life (DS1 one said 'you mean that sound you make like a pig being slaughtered with a chain saw and then it suddenly stops'). Yes that's me stopping breathing >60 times an hour. I now have my beloved CPAP machine and it has altered and improved my sleep pattern and quality of sleep immeasurably. 7 years ago I had a total hip replacement and my pre-discharge x-ray showed no signs of arthritis anywhere else in my body. The month I turned 60 I went to the doctor with right shoulder problems (reduced to putting plates away in the cupboard 1 at a time, cut my hair short and other adaptions) and whilst I was having injections I asked about a slight problem with my knee - yes that's arthritis too. Four years on my left shoulder is starting to nag, my left knee, hip and ankle are making walking challenging (I don't have problems, just challenges, interesting puzzles to work through) and my hands and failing eyesight have curtailed my cross-stitch greatly (need to be honest with myself as to whether I can carry on now.

I've been my mother's carer for the past 5 years, moved into her bungalow at the start of the pandemic and spent most of last year trying to get back home. DS3 and his Beloved remained at my house which slowly silted up with uncleared stuff. On the Tuesday before Christmas I slept in my own bed for the first time in 21 months (still had boxes at both houses and took months of effort by me and a full day with 3 cleaner/ declutterers to get it something like). On the 23rd mum was ill (I still went most days), on the 30th she was much worse and was taken by ambulance to A & E where she spent the night (no beds on the wards). At first they were only saying they'd keep her over until after the weekend, I phoned once a day for news and passed it on to other family members. On the Tuesday morning they phoned me to say she'd died overnight (3rd January). She was old and vulnerable, dying was always a possibility but it was still a shock. 

So nearly a month sorting funeral arrangements (my baby brother and several other family members have survived this long by remaining in isolation), some nasty abuse from mum's partner's family, lots of paperwork done, more still to do (some has to wait for probate and there's an 8 week backlog on applications), my brother wants to sell the bungalow and I can't buy him out (lots I don't like about the bungalow but the convenience of no stairs and a walk in sit down shower balance it out). Weeks of wading through possessions - local charity shops have all benefitted, the manager of the local food bank came round to take a lot of the food, a charity which provides meals for the homeless and other people in need took most of the soup (food bank is drowning in soup, baked beans and pasta - most people have a very limited idea of what to stock up on, those were the things that disappeared first in the great toilet roll panic of 2020). Mostly done now including transporting most of the large plastic pots I've used for growing stuff (knew I'd have to leave the raised beds behind) although lots still needs sorting at my house - doing one tiny corner of the garden at a time.

Lots of work to do on many fronts. Had to apply for the dreaded Universal Credit. Have also started the PIP process but my niece said I should apply for UC so I had some money right now. I had to have weekly appointments for the first 13 weeks (thankfully now gone to monthly. Officially they're at the jobcentre but all the staff I've met are sympathetic, think I should be on PIP and mostly phone me.

So a new life to make, taking care of me, radical new diet (strict adherence to diabetic diet plus a chronic pain management diet which suggests cutting out/ down meat, dairy and wheat) and mostly keeping to it - at times I can't think what to cook or have no desire to do so have bought plant based ready meals (from the ys pile) and SW meals (wildly extravagant) as a compromise. I have to sort out 3 therapy goals before next Wednesday, still trying to work out how to replace the home-made fence panel which has fallen down (eaten from the inside) after more than 25 years faithful service. I checked yesterday that the paint I need is in my local store. Used the one I had (bought pre-pandemic) as it had an accident and ended up doing much more painting than I intended after I'd scooped the paint puddle off the floor. I may go back and buy a can - if I make progress on a solution (saw some 3' x 2' panels at the SM that looked useful) don't want to go back and find it all gone. Lots of pacing and sitting down (have nearly cut down one of the weed trees with 5 minutes sawing at a time.

 

pollyanna_26

I've finally found my way back. There may be typos as the last few months have been lots of flares and little sleep and my muscles and joints have been struggling with Sciatica joining the party.

Superdoc has now referred me for scans as after injected steroids didn;t help he suspects some of the shoulder and shoulder blade pain may be rotator cuff tears again.

It's a few years since the first tears but often I find it difficult pulling the bin up the drive to the pavement for collection.

The first tears happened a few years ago after I was holding up the up and over garage door for a long time while the wires were replaced and I've had to be mindful before lifting heavy things or carrying heavy bags since then but it isn't always possible.or sometimes I don't stop and think.

The pain in my shoulder blades should have alerted me asthey're one part of my body that;s normally ok.

I don't know if you'll see this Maddie but I was so sorry to read you and your husband had lost your fathful companionof many years. They never leave us you know. All these years on I can still feel our beloved Ollie Mog who turned himself in to an assistance cat long before other than Guide dogs differnt pets weren't known as assistance animals.

He always slept with youngest sometimes curled up alongside her or by her head if she was struggling. He only ever came near my bedroom if she was having a bad night and would wake me and I knew I had to go to her.

We have always pictured him in a sparkly Catsiut dancing among the stars with his beloved Freddie Mercury so we can smile and remember the good times.

Youngest has been struggling but is now seeing consultants and others as they tried to catch upon the backlog..

She was really struggling fron November last year and by mid December having huge meltdowns when I was there I decided to srep back for both our sakes she didn't want advice or help and I was only an email away,

She had to go to BUPA but finally found a very good dentist who understood the fact she's ECV with complex heath conditions and anxiety.The two weekly appts were going well then he told her he was leaving the practise and would be putting her on the list for the new dentist.

He couln't do the usual work that day as he wouldn't be able to check ithat all was well afterrwards .  He just did deep clean to guard against infection. She was very upset when she emailed me but knew she had no choice but to wait.

I went to see her the other day and we spent a nice time in the sun with the cats in the big back garden, I was worried the cats would have forgotten who I was especially Stimpy who has the memory of a gnat but they both ran towards me when I arrived

My Christmas and Mothers day presents were still there .

Very different this year but it showed she;d noticed how I'd struggled through the winter, Feeling cold, in pain and pretty sleepless.

Both were things I'd never thought of before. One a Silentnight sleeved blanket in Teddy Bear Fleece . I'd never heard of Teddy Bear fleece until last winter when I was searching for VShape pillows  to replace our too big and hard ones.

I've always preferred natural fabrics but the Teddy Bear fleece Vshaped pillows I found on the Marks site had masses of top reviews and were a fraction of the cost of the JL pilows I uesd to buy,

There are soft cosy and supportive and I'm planning to buy the bedding before next winter.

It was late when I got home the other night and I was tired and cold. I sat down in the armchair and decided to have a look at the sleeved blanket.. It looks like a cushion but unfolds to something like a long dressing gown with a bottom pocket for your feet .

I put it on to try and went out like a light waking up in the middle of the night warm cosy and not in the usual pain afrter a long day.

IMO fleece is the answer to the world the universe and everything.No idea why it was never on my radar but it is now.

I haven;t looked at the electric heating pad yet I'm always wary of anything with a plug on.

According to the box it covers neck, shoulders, back and upper body. It's flannel fleece.

Supposed to reduce muscle soreness, relieve cumulative fatigue and provide relief from cramps and provide even heat throughout the body.Has 4 heat settings ,a 90 min timer  and Auto Overheat protection. It is made in the UK which is good.

I just want to look at the reviews online.

Sorry for such a long post but with energy prices increasing I thought it might be useful.

Time for a brew methinks.

pollyx

 .

beanielou

Popping in to say hello.
Will read back a bit tomorrow 

pollyanna_26

Lovely to see you Beanie. I keep meaning to ask if you prefer Beanie or Lou.

I have missed you since Mooloo doesn't post much now she's so busy. I do remember to wish her Happy Birthday each year as we always did and she posts an update on how things are going.

We posted there over many years and I still miss her threads.I hope Miss Summer is ok and still  loving her bed.

Take care

pollyx

pollyanna_26

Mothernerd I knew you'd had a hip replacement but wasn;t aware until today you also have Arthritis. Are you prescribed any medication or recieving any help with that. My first diagnosis was Osteo Arthritis and there wasn't much help for that although I was quite young 30s I think. I was still working and was getting through with over the counter pain killers.

Can't remember the name of them head is fibro foggy at the moment but when I saw our former GP feeling really ill it led to me being diagnosed with stomach ulcersand I was warned never to take them again.,

I did eventually get seen at Physio and they did help with the pain in my knees , feet and legs.

Were you told what type of Arthritis you have ? It can be mild to extreme we both have Osteo and Rheumatoid and they are very different from each other.

I've been trying to catch up on the threads  before I fall too far behind. I hope you've had a not too frustrating day and haven't been pushing yourself too hard.

Mentally I felt a lot more cheerfull today I think those in the NW appreciate the sunny days. It makes a change from singing Paul Heatons Manchester song.

pollyx

mothernerd

I'm tired but happy. Decided it was Frog Friday and alternated pottering around my bedroom (putting things in the remaining drawer space) and tackling paperwork - a few mailing lists to take mum off plus another long letter to the tv licence idiots (I might invoice them for my time). Took 10 books and 9 pieces of cross-stitch fabric to a cs (hurt my eyes just looking at it). Keeping 3 large (baby blanket/ shawl size) pieces for now (actually pretty enough to be used as they are)and one piece of aida which says it's 14 hpi (holes per inch) so will try using that before deciding whether to buy more. Have ordered some bargain canvas which will help with embroidering onto the large pieces.

Good chats with DS3 (said 'we' need to work out how to get his own place - he is mostly remembering to tidy up his space before he goes to bed), DS2 - updating me on the boys' dad's condition (in hospital, possibly not getting out this time - nearly said he was on his last legs but seeing as it's his stumps which are causing the problem, maybe not) and my niece. Her other grandma is back in hospital, again for the second time since having since having a leg amputation (plus dementia which her husband keeps downplaying). Given my niece a key so she and her bf can collect some things from mum's - she's also hoping to get 2 men and a van this week (she wants ones who will take the wardrobes upstairs). I'm really enjoying my relationship with my niece and her mother but having to be careful as they've both told me things they don't want the other knowing.

PIP is going okay (setting health stuff to one side as I find it). Tried to contact the doctor's today (unavailable but hoping they will deal with it on Monday am). Have an appointment at the 'other' practice on Monday and was hoping to pick up my 'fit note' then, but if not I'll speak to the receptionist then - Tuesday and Wednesday are putting bins out and bringing them back in days so need a bus ticket to deal with mum's. Also pleading with them for anti-biotics. I have 'furry tongue' which is a side effect of one of my meds but despite special toothbrush and toothpaste and extra brushing it's totally out of control atm. I have had anti-biotics once but when they didn't clear it up completely, doctor said it was no use trying again. Just wonder if they might help me get it back under control. Trying to work out what triggered it - thinking maybe hand gel in shops (keep smelling something floral and I don't use scented products as a rule).

I have big 'conditions' but seem to spend half my life managing side effects or trying to walk a line between the demands of one condition and not making another worse eg very dry skin (dermatitis and eczema plus eczema caused by the sun) but CPAP mask rules say no lotions, lip salve etc on my face or hands. Currently slathering moisturiser on when I first wake up along with teeth brushing, taking pills and drinking water. Mostly sunk in before I start 'getting ready for the day' requirements.

Going to go and do something fun now (maybe just finishing my book). Played a lot of music yesterday evening and this morning to keep me going.

pollyanna_26

I'll reply properly later MN dd in Yorkshire is due to phone.

There is a lot in your post to read properly but one thing I'm wondering about is why are you still making that journey to mums bungalow each week to put the bins out and then do it again to fetch them in again?

A dear friend who had moved into her house here a few months before we moved here passed away in the first Covid winter.I had no idea. .Her daughter was seldom around and it was a neighbout over the road from me who spoke of it unaware I had no idea.

He told me the daughter had gone elsewhere and put the house up for sale but was putting bins out and bringing them back in a day or so later. There wasn;t anyone there to produce rubbish so she'd bring a samll bag with her. He advised her to contact the council cleansing dept and they took the property off the colledtion list until there was a new owner.

He said her bringing that rubbish each week made it more obvious the property was no longer occupied than not doing anything.

You could save yourself the bin treks by phoning the ccouncil.

I don't think the bungalow is on the market yet so if you've left curtains up all should be ok.

pollyx

poppy811

my council offers assured collection for people with mobility problems.  Works really well and no cost

mothernerd

There were lots of plastic bottles at the bungalow. I would have used them - cut loads in half last year when I had 64 tomato seedlings and quite a lot of beans, courgettes and other things all needing next size plant pots at the same time. I also used a lot as 'self- waterers' using watering spikes that got the water to the plants' roots (very useful for things at the back of the borders when the plants in front took off. I decided bringing them all back here was too much so have been feeding them all into the brown bin. Still getting some bills, junk mail and disposing of cardboard as cupboards have been emptied so the blue bin needs to go out -wasn't urgent so didn't bother last time that was due for collection. Some things are obvious junk so need to go in in the black bin (not allowed to put wood and things like that in, will need to pay someone to take those away).

Ex s-i-l and I did a tour or the garden last time we were there. Some of the plastic bottles used as plant pots are too dirty to put in the recycling so we gathered those and put them in the black bin. We went all round and I ended up with a small pile of things (less than a medium box) of things I wanted to keep, everything else went in the black bin. The yard only really needs a good sweep now. One bin a week is emptied (paper/ rubbish/ plastic bottles and tin cans) on a  week cycle.

The green bin is emptied  every two weeks - that's garden waste but we have little compostable bags (I never use them, mum over used them) to put 'food waste' in. They go to be composted but I think they get separated out at the recycling centre. last time I went the brassicas I'd left in the ground (last years crop but they were the ones that had to wait for space after other crops were harvested) had bolted and were nearly at the top of the fence, so I cut them down to size and everywhere needs weeding so if I have any spare energy I'll do some and put that bin out this week. You aren't supposed to leave anything in the bins when the new owners take over.

Obviously as the weather picks up keeping the weeds under control will be important for viewings and I've bought some bargain bedding to put in the pots now that the plants and bulbs I put in, in Autumn have finished. The good news is that I'm not being charged Council tax on the property (when I had time to sit down and read the bill properly) although the  3 months grace period is up and I'll have to sign direct debits for the water, gas and electric - bills shouldn't be much but with high standing charges. There will be more cleaning, hopefully only a bit of touch up painting (left my brushes, a paint tray and some other bits in the shed) and I think I've given upon the idea of repainting all the fencing - there's paint available if the new owner wants it but otherwise I'll take it away. 

I've had a busy morning shopping. I hate shopping and SMs and never shop on Saturday but I've failed to get as far as the shops that sell caffeine free drinks for the past 2 days and had to compromise with caffeine ones. My sleeping pattern is out of wack, wide awake at  am and the caffeine is making me jittery. need to get back to drinking mostly water asap but caffeine free drinks are the middle step. I saw some things in a cs yesterday but didn't manage to get back, I've cut my list severely on both days and needed a serious shop (or an order delivered). 

So got to the cs quite early bought a pair of duck egg blue curtains, more picture books including the Gruffalo which was on my list, picked up 2 A4 files (bought maths paper yesterday as I have lots of notes to write up), one file even has a set of dividers, a hand knitted patchwork blanket approx 4'6" square, a duplo farm (main reason for the visit - it's recommended for 2 years on but mine had a couple of the larger bricks in their box of sensory toys from 6 months on, safe as long as it's too big to get the whole thing in their mouth), a small soft toy of one of the monsters from Monsters Inc (the blue and purple one , think that's Sully and the green eyeball on a stalk is Mikey). I abhor Disney but saw that one and Lilo and Stitch at the cinema with DS3 when he was young and I quite liked them (loved the monsters being terrified of the little girl) and finally a hand knitted Peter Rabbit complete with a little blue coat and a gorgeous carrot. For all of which they wanted the princely sum of £4.50 but I insisted on them having a whole £10. Resisted buying the wooden cot for £4.

Decided heading to the main pedestrianised shopping street for a sit down was nearer than heading back towards home. someone was already on the bench at one side so turned towards the other and someone sat on that one two. spent a few minutes perched on the edge of one of the large square planters, then carried on towards the bus station. No empty benches (some are missing because they're replacing them a few at a time) so headed to the Mall where they have a row of benches dotted along the length of it. Every single one had someone sitting on it or someone got there before I did. Went and got some spare front door keys cut (thought the shop had closed) as mine is bent. 

Finally sat down on a wall just outside the far end (it's only a row of shops not a sprawling thing but quite convenient when it's raining) then crossed to Tessimo's. Quite a big shop for me, I've cut out/ cut back on so many things that I can't think what to cook a lot of the time so included some low traffic light ready meals. Lots of drinks (but hoping this will be the last time, will halve consumption every week). Phoned for a taxi and left 'my' trolley behind - I borrowed it on 20th March 2020 (was in the broken trolleys/ other SMs bit on the car park and I was struggling) and it's been enormously useful but I let it go. 

Put the freezer stuff away, had 2 drinks, an ice lolly and a bowlful of pasta salad, then took books back to the library. A letter for the (empty) house next door was pushed through our letter box during the week so went to the shop (the man said he doesn't own the property but had been keeping an eye on the tenant as he has no family. The man isn't dead but he found him on the floor one day and called an ambulance and he's in a care home, the nice one mum's partner was in. He's lost his mobility so probably can't return to living next door. The dog has been rehomed and work will start on clearing up the mess in the next couple of weeks. I told him what I'd done to cut back the jungle and the ivy encroaching on the property. So I can't buy it - something better must be coming along. 

Exhausted now (will do some reading and write up some notes).  I tend to scribble down q & a, actions, response etc when I'm making phone calls or filling in forms using a notebook, then when they're nearly full I go through crossing out anything that's been dealt with and transcribing the useful stuff. At least 2 notebooks will be going this weekend. DS3 brought a lot of stuff upstairs for me. the paper sack and rubbish bag are both close by, will just keep plodding and nibbling raw veg.

pollyanna_26

Sorry MN I haven't forgotten you I've just had a lot of phone calls today. Then got distracted trying to keep up with the Fence. I was typing with one finger as the pain was slightly less in my shoulder and shoulder blades and I was hopng not to trigger it.

Finally time to reply to you and I couldn't remember the name of my own thread!

I feel as though I'm finally losing the plot.

So first of all your embroidery. I don't have bad eyesight  problems. When I turned 50 I found I was squinting at small print and my counted cross stitch charts and similar things I took myself off to Boots Opticions and they tested my eyes and said I just needed reading glasses no other problems.

Two things I found useful over the years have been one of those round magniifiers that hangs around your neck nothing fancy or expensive . I picked mine up from the much missed haberdashers in the village.

I'm famous for putting my glasses down then fogetting where I've put them and could see the charts without them.

I mainly use Zweigart or DMC fabrics 14 and 16 count but do buy some linens for special projects 22 count and upwards some of the charts for those projects are quite complicated so I found a basic cheap A4 size magnifying sheet cheaply onthe Big River site.

That has been handy for many things including reading long sheets of paperwork or reading books with tiny print. Mine lives on one end of a book shelf because it becomes pretty invisible once you put it down somewhere.

The last couple of years I've been using tiny bank card size oblongs. Cheap online. think my pack of four were about £3. They're handy for checking dates in the shops. I don't need my glasses all the time so the little magnifiers mean I wont leave my glasses behind in the shop by mistake.

I think your embroidery is important to you as mine is to me. I always thought of mine as a bit of me time when I could shut out everything else and just be.

I've been ponderng the situation where you're trying to commute between your house and mums trying to sort out things at both.

I know furniture will be leaving the bungalow so I feel you would be best concentrating on sorting things there. Getting rid of weeds , plastic bottles and anything that needs to go. I know the waste wizards are expensive but could you run to a relaible man with a van to clear the lot and take it away?

If you focus on the Bungalow first you could hve it ready to go on the Market when Probate is sorted.

You've made changes at your home and can now access your bed and locate things. I honestly feel that sorting the bungalow first will work better for your physical and mental health than trying to cope with two different situations.

The sooner you can get the Bungalow on the market the more you'll know what to do next at your own home. once it's cleared and prepared for sale it's one job done properly and no need for all those bus fares and trawling back and forth.

It's no good doing CBT if you keep piling pressure on yourself when there is a more logical way of doing things.

pollyx

ETA Sorry for the typos. My fingers have a life of their own at the moment.