I just don't know where to begin with this

[Deleted User]

You have made an amazing start in recognising your overspending and I also think being well paid is often a mask to debt because you know every month a big check will come in and it makes you feel ' rich'.


The big thing for me and hopefully a motivator is that the £60k debt you have run up could have put your son on to the property ladder in years to come.

newsgroup_monkey

I know it's a PITA and takes some time, but then again, this takes away from the need to "do something" every weekend.

I'm guessing like me, you and your husband have unnecessary stuff "stashed" away. For me, I realised I had a garage full of stuff I don't use as well as a loft full of nonsense, a cupboard and so on.


Because we are moving, we don't really want to car unnecessary stuff with us, so I threw stuff up on eBay. A camera case, a storage system, some electricals (which aren't particularly modern), some "projects", car parts, an old Samsung S7, a Gear Fit 2 and so on.



I've just added £2k to the moving costs pot and there's a lot less to move!


I'm pretty sure if your husband is a gadget and spend freak like me, he'll have pots of stuff that he's hoarding - old mobile phones etc.

EssexHebridean

That's a great point - so many people replace a gadget with an updated version retaining the old as spare, but then when they repeat the behaviour down the line they fail to recall that they already HAVE a spare, so don't need another one!

For mobile phones I think there is some information about the companies you can sell to on the main MSE site.

Scrimps

I used to be a spend freak for books and DVDs...a couple of car boot sales got me over £300 and we still had way too much stuff to move house with. We music magpied the rest.
Seriously consider a major declutter, look into minimalism etc, I don't feel any less happy without my huge DVD and book collection to look at but I thought I would. Realising how much we wasted on stuff was very sobering thought, especially when music magpieing CDs and DVDs that still had the cellophane and price sticker on them.

Selling stuff to get it out of the house seems to be an ongoing project, we just bought so much! It really makes you think twice about purchases in the future so it's a bit of a win-win.

It could help you make a massive dent in your debt, but it will need a mindset change towards stuff

fairyloveheart

Hello - we are in a similar position. We are 41 with an 8 year old son, he’s nearly 9! We earn similar to you guys but our mortgage is 1k a month and council tax is 240! We have a loan, credit cards, very etc. At the start of the year I had a bit of a meltdown as similarly to you, there were no 0%s left and I felt overwhelmed. I confessed all to my parents and it felt a bit better to share. The thing for us is we’ve done it before and then ended up paying it off with equity from our house.....

I am a shopaholic - there’s no other word for it. I’ve tried to get help but there doesn’t seem to be any help out there for my addiction! My husband doesn’t spent much day to day either, he buries his head in the sand and ignores it. He is complicit in my spending. I keep saying he should take control as I can’t be trusted!

I have been trying to pay stuff back this year... I have a plan and a spreadsheet - it’s a slow slog and payday doesn’t come around quick enough!

Happy to be ‘wannabe debt free buddies?!’

I’ve been trying to sell stuff too. eBay and Facebook mainly. I sometimes have a blip but then try to get right back on it. It’s hard.

Xxx

Humdinger1

SalXYZ

Hello; just wanted to say that I've subscribed and am reading with enthusiasm. Your writing is fab, and I recognise the path you're on. I'll fill you in another time on my journey, but congrats on your LBM! You should congratulate yourself on recognising what was going on before you got to the point of no return.

Fairyloveheart, there is a group for people with every kind of addiction. It's called Fresh Start and is run by the CAP charity - it has religious foundations but they don't preach.

Look forward to further news from everyone. Onwards and upwards!

Humdinger

salXYZ

fairyloveheart wrote: »

Hello - we are in a similar position. We are 41 with an 8 year old son, he’s nearly 9! We earn similar to you guys but our mortgage is 1k a month and council tax is 240! We have a loan, credit cards, very etc. At the start of the year I had a bit of a meltdown as similarly to you, there were no 0%s left and I felt overwhelmed. I confessed all to my parents and it felt a bit better to share. The thing for us is we’ve done it before and then ended up paying it off with equity from our house.....

I am a shopaholic - there’s no other word for it. I’ve tried to get help but there doesn’t seem to be any help out there for my addiction! My husband doesn’t spent much day to day either, he buries his head in the sand and ignores it. He is complicit in my spending. I keep saying he should take control as I can’t be trusted!

I have been trying to pay stuff back this year... I have a plan and a spreadsheet - it’s a slow slog and payday doesn’t come around quick enough!

Happy to be ‘wannabe debt free buddies?!’

I’ve been trying to sell stuff too. eBay and Facebook mainly. I sometimes have a blip but then try to get right back on it. It’s hard.

Xxx

Hi Fairyheart, happy to be debt free buddies x

salXYZ

Thank you all so much for your posts. Apologies for being so rubbish at replying. We have all been battling a stomach bug for the last week or so but finally feeling better now.

We have made a good start I think. We were paid just over a week ago so this is our first real month of our debt free mission. We have done a food shop at Lidl - £70 for 2 weeks worth of meals!!!! We will need to get bread milk etc, however this is so much less that our usual Sainsburys trips when we were easily spending £150 per week, if not more.

This month we are being super frugal. We want to see how much we have left the day before payday. All of this will be paid off one of the debts ( probably Very).

It's weird - we have only just started however I already feel relaxed and in a much better place. Having a plan in place and knowing that we can do it has removed 80% of my stress.

Scrimps

Hey, I'm glad you're feeling better. If I may suggest; rather than being super frugal and seeing what you have left, write a budget and stick to it. Before pay day, sit down and work out exactly how much you will be getting and exactly what you need to spend for the month ahead then whatever is left over, use to pay off the debts as soon as the money hits your account. You will make much faster progress if you do this.

If you do it the other way, you will most likely dip into the balance unnecessarily and spend money that could be going to your debts instead. If you have already paid it off the balance then the money is gone and it can't be spent again.

I also second what another poster said about doing weekly shops. Doing that has reduced our top ups required which resulted in reduced spending. Also, taking money out every Friday for the food and buying everything I need for the week frees up my mind so I'm not counting down to the next payday. When we did a big shop to last a couple of weeks and 'top ups', i found I was always waiting till pay day even if I hadn't run out of money, kind of waiting until the next big shop I think.

BabyStepper

You've been given some great advice and I have nothing to add other than to echo the above poster. Put your debt overpayment amount on your budget and pay it as soon as your wage arrives. But in the first few months, leave yourself a contingency amount because you will make mistakes, you will forget about things and it will take a good few months until your budget is exact and you have every single expense on there. And be gentle with yourself, you're learning a new skill and it takes time.

Good luck.