please i desperately need advice....

skintas_2

my oh doesnt like paying off my debts. its from what we had credit in my name, but because i did it a few years ago i cant tell him what it was for. he gets annoyed when i say bills, he says theyre are mine. he forgets i wasnt working i had his 2 sons 5 and 7. im now working and clearing the debt.its a hard one....does sound a bit slefish about the gadget, he could have treated you.......even to a bunch of flowers, i used to have a ex i earned double what he did, i paid for everyhting then he started to ask me to pay for his friends to and steal money off me. then i realised what he wanted me for just my money.. i could walk away easy as we didnt live together....... good luck x

bringmeshoes

my b/f of 2.5 years moved into my flat last year and couple of weeks later he lost his job so wasnt able to contribute his half. he offered to move back home with his parents until he had a job but i was happy to pay for all of the bills until he got back on his feet, it was him i wanted there not his money. When he got another job he started contributing to the house and when we've needed something for the house (like the new TV) and i havent had the money to pay for half of it he has paid it all as i did with he bills last year. Relationships are swings and roundabouts and there are always good times and bad but you need to decide if this money thing is the only issue here or if there is something else that you are not happy with in your relationship and using the money issue to vent your frustration

SarahNeedle1872

Hi there....

I think the answer to this depends on whether u want to be with this guy long term...... If u do, I think u need to let the debts go and agree with OH a way to pay the debts off together. Ok so he bought a gadget, but he at least he saved up bits of money for it rather than putting it on a cc. Maybe he should have given u the money for the debts, but he didn't. Don't let money be the 'thing' in ur relationship, it causes way too many fights!
I used to be way too controlling of OH's money (he would argue I still am!) but all I got from him was resistance, so now I have eased off him a bit, and he's actually starting to come round to my way of thinking. We agreed that each pay day, I would take from him acc all the money I needed to pay the bills/food etc, plus the £50 pm he owes me for his cc balance I transferred (he spent £450 on pizza and crap on a 40% apr card, he knows it was stupid now and offered to pay it back), then whatever was left was his to spend. He earns more than me, but also spends more than me!
The more relaxed attitude has meant that we no longer fight about money, and he leaves little piles of change around the house for me to collect..... and the bills get paid. His other contributions also include me doing a 'penny sweep' from his acc at the end of the month, and he gave me stuff to put on eBay.

U may well find that u have to do more of the leg work to get the debt paid (that is true for most of us here), but even if u only get a bit of support from him, its better than none at all...

Good luck

Sarah x

chevalier

Was any of this advice helpful?