Starting my journey

Loadedsoul

Thank you guys for the responses.

Hi Monz - the £400 is for both me and mum equally split so about £200 a month each. I’ll look into seeing how to cut this down.

Hi Essex - ahh thought it was something important but guess not! I’ve taken up yoga again so short 20 min sessions at home in the morning gets me going. Yes the council tax is a single person discount (it’s very high in the area I live in!). I live in a rented property, we got the water people to come and check and apparently the way the house is built they aren’t able to fit it in for just my apartment.

Hi Saving - I’ve looked into it and think I’ll start putting a little bit away in it each month. Beauty of it is it’s not a flexi saver so I can’t dip my hand in the cookie jar :T


Bit of a setback this morning, checked my account and I was - £780 :eek:. I had completely forgotten about an outstanding doctor bill which they took payment for and now. I’m stuck as I still have £250 worth of bills going out this month, plus I need to pay another £400 for another medical bill.

I’m going deeper and deeper into this hole and don’t see how I’m going to do this. Just burst out crying this morning when I saw my balance. I’ll now need to borrow off my CC which I didn’t want to do. Can’t ask my company, can’t ask my friends and I’ve got nothing to sell.

Feel like I’m breaking apart from the inside

Loadedsoul

Sitting at work on a lunch break - my colleague bought me lunch today which was a nice change

I believe there is no point killing my spirit over this - if i stay positive keep my head up and work away at this - things will get better. I'm still depressed but i'm committed to this now.

Went for a walk early this morning - so nice being out in the fresh air just you and no other human around. Very peaceful and calming. Think I might make this a daily routine. Got a bum knee and a bad back but even that short walk was enough to get me going.

Think i'll go to watch the new Downton Abbey movie tomorrow. Seems good from the trailer and i loved the show!

Have a lovely Friday everyone xoxo

Loadedsoul

Really enjoyed the movie! Well worth the watch.

Had to get some groceries as well to do my weekly batch cooking. In total with the train travel and the groceries, spent £23.25 today.

Been cooking since I got home and finally got the chance to sit down and make myself a coffee - totally exhausted but was well worth the effort :T

My plan for tomorrow is to lay comatose on the couch and start reading some of the books i got from the library.

Have to make sure i do my laundry and dishes (so tired!) by tomorrow as they are coming to fix a new boiler on Monday morning. Thankfully i'm not paying for this as its a rented property. Going to be a two day job so will be hot waterless till it's done :rotfl:

Have a conference i have to attend on Wednesday, need to plan how i'm going to manage the cost of travel till i get reimbursed for it. Sigh....

Karonher

Glad you seem to be feeling a bit better. £400 for groceries even for 2 is a lot. Without knowing where your mum is and the prices there I think it can be cut down quite a but.

I would also suggest you look at contents insurance.

Loadedsoul

Hi Karonher,

Thanks for stopping by :hello:

She’s lives in Asia. Her groceries include her medication too that’s why the total is quite high
Some months it does go a bit higher depending on any change of medication but max it goes up around £25-50 (IF it does which is few and far between)

I’ve just got home from the conference and I’m absolutely shattered. Couldn’t bring myself to cook today so grabbed a quick meal at the station for £5.

So far so good - all my bills are now paid except gas and electric which will go out on the 30th.

I’m gonna make myself the biggest cup of coffee and sit down and try to relax for a bit, got a stonkimg headache and my feet hurt (they had us standing and meeting people for 5 hours straight :eek: )

Tomorrow starts my week of doing 15hr shifts, usually by the end of the week I’m a zombie :rotfl:

Will check back soon. Have a lovely evening everyone.

Loadedsoul

Bit of radio silence over the last few days. My mum was taken to the hospital on Thursday with a suspected heart attack and is currently in ICU. I've been so stressed out it's like the universe is conspiring to throw every bad thing at me at the same time. Had to take out another "loan" to pay for her hospital stay. *FML*

They're currently keeping her in observation and have said if her vitals remain steady she will be discharged on Monday. Been relying on local friends to be with her and help out as needed.

Every night all i pray is she gets better and i can get out of this roundabout nightmare that i seem to be stuck in. Can't really talk about this with friends and i have no partner. MSE seems to be my only avenue for an outlet. I've broken down so many times over the past few days - and honestly right now i could really use a hug.

SuperMoose

Sorry to hear about your mum Can't offer any advice sorry but here's a (slightly dodgy MSE) hug :grouphug:

Toni'sfriend

I am sorry to hear about your Mum. Hope things improve for you and her soon.

Loadedsoul

Thank you SuperMoose - for the hug!!!!!!!! Even a virtual hug feels like there is hope yet.

Thank you Toni - appreciate the kind words

Loadedsoul

So Monday rolls in and I’ve got good news and bad news and my head hurts already :mad:

Mom’s condition is stable and she will be moved from ICU to the normal ward for another day of observation. I’ve arranged for my friend P to stay with her for the day. I count my blessings I have dear friends who have been so so so supportive through this whole ordeal. Really don’t know what I’d do without them.

Been advised I would need to come down to discuss and set up a few things with the doctors for her regarding her medication and further tests and her overall care. I’ve been getting away for a few years doing this over the phone and they’ve been quite nice about it but are insistent that this needs to be addressed so I’m stuck. I’m seriously too broke to afford anything right now. Can’t even send someone to do this for me as there are some sensitive things that can’t be discussed with them.

Can’t afford flights (they cost over a £1000!!!) Not counting the cost of getting to and from airports and locally :eek:

I’m going to go in this morning and speak to my boss. Seriously loathe being a beggar.

How did I go from being normal to being constantly scared to look at my bank account. What kind of life am I living. I wake up some nights in the middle of the night - terrified and sweating.

I’m really trying to stay positive and force myself to keep calm, keep smiling. One day this too shall pass.