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A diary of feelings, debt & general life drama

pof2019
Posts: 15 Forumite
I have previously posted one thread but got nervous and stressed sooooo here I go again.
I met my DH in 2014, after a crazy horrible break up with his ex wife in 2013. We had both just gotten out of relationships and were NOT looking for love. But it happened, and now 5 years later we are married and I have 2 step children. We are very happy!
BUT we have always had a debt dilemma, and when i say dilemma i mean i was a stupid young girl who got herself into debt because of stupidity really if im honest. My husband got left in a lot of debt by his ex wife who stayed at home to look after the children, taking out loans and catalogues mostly in his name. We have paid off together £36,875.30 so far on our journey. £16,875.30 so far this year! YAY!
I am a look ahead kind of girl sometimes. But our 2020 figures are below.
So grand total of debt come January 2020 will be £2788.42 - to pay off asap
Under control debt at £26,838.94 (DMP, LOANS)
Total = £29,627.36 (sounds a lot scarier than i actually think it is)!
I am not sure if anyone will be interested in my blogs but I think this is more for my sanity than anything else, SUPPORT would be appreciated though.
If we can smash the £2788.42 (credit cards) in the first few months of 2020 i’d be buzzing, the other manageable debt can wait until we are in a cheaper rented house. Praying that will be no later than mid 2020 though. Then i want to be smashing debts a lot quicker while saving for a mortgage.
I feel like I am making progress with my mental state with regards to all of this and have stopped taking a ‘oh f*ck it’ attitude as thats not going to make life any easier in the long run and lets face it, most of us all want an easier life. I would kill, well extreme, not quite kill but would do ALMOST anything to have a massive mortgage now, rather than a pile of debt holding me back. So to get there it means getting rid of the debt and saving a large deposit.
DMP - doesn't affect my chance of a mortgage, which is ace!
Loan- paying this off will make DH’s credit better!
Loan 2 - doesn’t affect credit at all as its private!
But the monthly saving would be ace, so the extra income we can put on that sooner rather than later will help for sure.
We have talked to the mortgage advisor and need 10% deposit but could get a mortgage now if we had that money! YAY! Ok so we don’t have it right now… but its positive for sure.
If we can get rid of the pesky credit cards/catalogues and pay DMP, LOAN, SIMP at usual rate we are and save a deposit along side it, then I will be more than happy!
So I have a 5 year plan IF we stay where we are, we could save £25,000 by the end of 2023 or £44,000 by the end of 2025. Dad will give us £10,000 though so technically we could buy in/by the end of 2023. We need £25k plus fees to get a decent property. Unless we buy an absolute doer, uper! Lots of ideas running through my brain of course BUT the main thing is we CAN buy. So keeping that as a positive, ive been feeling a bit Blah recently, haven’t long lost my Grandad. Which broke me & my step childrens mother is expecting a baby, which should be a positive (i know!) but the children already go without so much and i worry that they will go without even more, it breaks my heart and worries me to death. We 100% do what we can for them (and more) probably one of the reasons were in debt to be honest.
Any replies are much welcome, even chit chat. Keep in touch.
I met my DH in 2014, after a crazy horrible break up with his ex wife in 2013. We had both just gotten out of relationships and were NOT looking for love. But it happened, and now 5 years later we are married and I have 2 step children. We are very happy!
BUT we have always had a debt dilemma, and when i say dilemma i mean i was a stupid young girl who got herself into debt because of stupidity really if im honest. My husband got left in a lot of debt by his ex wife who stayed at home to look after the children, taking out loans and catalogues mostly in his name. We have paid off together £36,875.30 so far on our journey. £16,875.30 so far this year! YAY!
I am a look ahead kind of girl sometimes. But our 2020 figures are below.
So grand total of debt come January 2020 will be £2788.42 - to pay off asap
Under control debt at £26,838.94 (DMP, LOANS)
Total = £29,627.36 (sounds a lot scarier than i actually think it is)!
I am not sure if anyone will be interested in my blogs but I think this is more for my sanity than anything else, SUPPORT would be appreciated though.
If we can smash the £2788.42 (credit cards) in the first few months of 2020 i’d be buzzing, the other manageable debt can wait until we are in a cheaper rented house. Praying that will be no later than mid 2020 though. Then i want to be smashing debts a lot quicker while saving for a mortgage.
I feel like I am making progress with my mental state with regards to all of this and have stopped taking a ‘oh f*ck it’ attitude as thats not going to make life any easier in the long run and lets face it, most of us all want an easier life. I would kill, well extreme, not quite kill but would do ALMOST anything to have a massive mortgage now, rather than a pile of debt holding me back. So to get there it means getting rid of the debt and saving a large deposit.
DMP - doesn't affect my chance of a mortgage, which is ace!
Loan- paying this off will make DH’s credit better!
Loan 2 - doesn’t affect credit at all as its private!
But the monthly saving would be ace, so the extra income we can put on that sooner rather than later will help for sure.
We have talked to the mortgage advisor and need 10% deposit but could get a mortgage now if we had that money! YAY! Ok so we don’t have it right now… but its positive for sure.
If we can get rid of the pesky credit cards/catalogues and pay DMP, LOAN, SIMP at usual rate we are and save a deposit along side it, then I will be more than happy!
So I have a 5 year plan IF we stay where we are, we could save £25,000 by the end of 2023 or £44,000 by the end of 2025. Dad will give us £10,000 though so technically we could buy in/by the end of 2023. We need £25k plus fees to get a decent property. Unless we buy an absolute doer, uper! Lots of ideas running through my brain of course BUT the main thing is we CAN buy. So keeping that as a positive, ive been feeling a bit Blah recently, haven’t long lost my Grandad. Which broke me & my step childrens mother is expecting a baby, which should be a positive (i know!) but the children already go without so much and i worry that they will go without even more, it breaks my heart and worries me to death. We 100% do what we can for them (and more) probably one of the reasons were in debt to be honest.
Any replies are much welcome, even chit chat. Keep in touch.
Debt free wannabe :T
0
Comments
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Planning is good.
Looking into options is positive.
Having ideas is wonderful.
Look at cutting spending where possible, saving every spare penny mounts up and you will achieve your dreamsMortgage started 2020, aiming to clear 31/12/2029.0 -
Thank you, I have so many big dreams, weve made so many stupid mistakes but we will get there. Some days im so positive about it all and others I am a worrying mess but i guess thats normal?Debt free wannabe :T0
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It is very normal.
You will have days feeling on top of the world, all plans are going in the right direction, then a blip brings you right back down BUT you plan, solve it and work back up again.
Eventually the blips become less frequent, you find they don't affect you so much and you don't take it to personal / hard
One day, you won't have any blips, nothing for weeks, then months and before you know it you've got your finances (outgoings) balanced, then the scales start to tip in your favour.
Just stay focused, talk through your diary, make small plans / to do lists, master them then do bigger ones, the end of the day you are aiming to clear debt and buy a home, many of us are walking the path and are here to support through the good times and bad times; best thing is it's anonymous, we listen and offer advice and encouragementMortgage started 2020, aiming to clear 31/12/2029.0 -
Thank you for your reply, todays thoughts are as long as were moving in the right director what more can we do? we do have to live too, we can't save or put every penny on debts can we? we have 2 kids to think about as well. We want them to have a lovely childhood while we save and sort out our situation.Debt free wannabe :T0
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At times you will need to compromise to ensure you are not spending too much and potentially adding to your debt.
Have you completed a statement of affairs, even if it's just for your own benefit to see if you may be spending too much in some areas?
The common overspending areas are:
Council tax can be spread over 12 months, it means the monthly payments are lower.
Gas and electric, look to see if you can switch to a lower tariff, switch unused items off and unplug them, don't leave things on standby, turn the heating down a bit and put a jumper on first before thinking the heating has to go on.
Mobile phones, go SIM only when contracts are up.
Internet and TV packages, pick a lower package, dont have all the channels, slightly lower internet speed and even consider having Netflix as a cheaper package with a Freeview box etc to really bring costs down.
Clothes, adults probably have enough for quite a while and only need to replace smalls. Kids unless they are having a growth spurt don't buy things each month.
Food, this is where a lot of people can save, switch to own brand and Aldi/Lidl, meal plan, bulk cook, bulk out food with veg etc.
Presents, again this one tends to be a lot when kids are involved. Set a budget and stick to it. Also helps kids when growing up to know they can't always have everything.
Eating out / entertainment, try and do free outside things in summer, walks / picnics etc, keep an eye out for vouchers if there are certain places you do like to go. It all saves money, but leads to nice outings.
If you drive shop around for insurance, supermarket petrol tends to be well priced and you can earn loyalty points (save them throughout the year to help pay for Xmas food or whatever celebration you follow).
You can give your kids a good life, they need love and guidanceMortgage started 2020, aiming to clear 31/12/2029.0 -
It's great that you have a long term goal, it really helps to have something to focus on. Have you though about breaking it down into smaller goals and setting yourself short term targets? I find it really helps to make things feel more achievable.0
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Thank you for all of your advice, were pretty good with food shopping but do really need to look into utilities and phone contracts.
I feel like the children are at an age where 'things' are important but we have had a chat to them and explained that if we want a house of our own and nice things then luxuries need to stop/be a real treat.
I love the ideal of short term goals, I am trying to pay off one thing at a time and the aim is the balance of the credit cards by the end of the year, I have just paid the first one off today which is a massive positive and as my husband is getting a refund from Quickquid from loan PPI years ago we will be able to pay off another 2 completely this month.So I am hoping to get the credit cards completely done by the end of the year (i have a budget planner) if we stick to that then we will 100% be done with credit cards. Its just a few catalogues then to sort, ideally id like to push them by the end of the year too. But we will see. Christmas is coming after all, quickly it seems. Christmas has started to hit shops everywhere here, which is exciting but daunting, but i have a plan so all should be fine.
Do you have any short term goals?Debt free wannabe :T0 -
I thought i'd do myself a little as it stands today the figures at the start of 2020 will be;
£13,285 Loan - going to just keep paying this at normal rate for the duration.
£11,932.80 DMP - going to keep going as normal for now but up it when we can over the next few years.
£1621.14 Simp will be paid by August 2022 if i keep at £50 a month but would like to clear this sooner as it's a small amount considering!
£2174 Cards/Cats
To pay off ASAP £2174
Under control debt at £26,838.94
Total = £29,012.94 so this has actually gone down by £614.42 from my previous projected figures so I am taking that as a huge positive.
We currently have £200 in the savings
£500 overdraft untouched
£800 available credit card balance which are ones we have paid off and wont be using unless its a huge emergency. I like to have £1000 saved by the end of the year and then we can look to move to a more affordable rental in the new year.
Current feelings/mental state, not 100% to be honest, DH hates his job as his boss is horrible to him so I am finding that so stressful, i want him to be happy of course. But we need the constant wage coming in and im scared of him going back to self employed or not finding a job quick enough if he did leave. I really want to move house as I don’t really want to stay where we are. Its so expensive and its just not the place I want to be. We could borrow interest free from my work for ‘help to move’ but there is no point until my DH’s CCJ falls off his report NEXT MONTH! Do you know how long we have waited for this! Our whole relationship that's how long!
Do you ever get the feeling everyone else you seem to know has things just given to them and its a bit gutting at times. We have made mistakes, we know that but we have never been lucky enough to get given anything really. Everything we have we have fought and worked for.Debt free wannabe :T0 -
Wishing you the very best of luck on your journey. I have a scarily high figure too and am in it for the log haul.
Yes - sometimes some people do seem to get things easier but mostly it's down to a combination of hard work and a bit of luck.Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
DFD:Nov 22/June 22
Mortgage: €199,712
MFD: March 2042/July 20340 -
Another update of figures as they have reduced again! WOO
£13,285 LOAN - going to just keep paying this at normal rate for the duration.
£10,652.30 DMP - going to keep going as normal for now but up it when we can over the next few years.
£1621.14 LOAN2 will be paid by August 2022 if i keep at £50 a month but would like to clear this sooner as it's a small amount considering!
£2174 CARDS/CATS
To pay off ASAP £2174
Under control debt at £25,558.44
Total = £27,732.44 so this has actually gone down by £1,894.92 from original projected figures for Jan 2020. Thats a lot less and means my DMP is in the 10k bracket finally!
£2,174 doesn't seem like a lot to smash really... and if we move asap then we will do that in no time. I hope something comes up this year and we can clear that to take us down to 25k bracket and all debt then is 'under control' so the mortgage fund can be our main concern. Please think positively for me!
I must remember NOT to put anything Xmas on the credit card no matter what! I have a budget i need to stick to.Debt free wannabe :T0
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