Time for a Fresh Start!

astrocytic_kitten

I’ve just found your diary, and it is ringing so many bells - you could honestly be me with thinking a new purchase will make everything better, or booking trips and then not taking them! Clothes shopping is still a struggle for me (massive understatement there), but I’ve got a grip on the other emotional overspends with a combination of MSE and tracking every penny with YNAB. And taking control of this has helped me feel in control of other areas of my life too.

I’ve subscribed, and will be cheering you on!

[Deleted User]

Moguline - I've been reading Atomic Habits this evening, it's really resonating with me, thanks for the tip! :beer:

enthusiasticsaver

I think you have pinpointed some really useful triggers to spending.

Lack of focus often means that without an aim it is easy to drift along without keeping a tight check on finances and before you know it debt has increased.

Spending when unhappy or discontented is really really common. It is as if people think that spending on new things or treats will make them happy but in the long run if it leads to more debt it will have the opposite effect.

Being sucked into doing things you can't afford by others or FOMO (fear of missing out) is another reason for overspending. Again it is worth asking if the thing you are doing is worth going into debt for and what you will have to miss in the future while you are paying it back.

You seem to be getting yourself on track though now.

EmotionalSpender

Thanks, all! That book is going on my list now.

Been a hectic few weeks - not sure how it’s 17th September already! Plodding along. The spending hasn’t been horrific, but I could have been doing better - there have been one or two curveballs (a wedding being more expensive than expected earlier in the month, I did start getting into a “buying breakfast habit” again which I’ve managed to curb with some force, and an unexpected journey to visit a sick relative). I get paid in just over a week and really shouldn’t be spending anything at all until then. But - I’ve been closely tracking my spending patterns this month, which has helped a lot.

When I get paid, I should be able to reduce the Halifax credit card down by £300 whilst keeping everything else steady with the minimum payments - so just need to get to payday.

Few things I’ve noted these last few weeks:

Writing everything down does help.

I think a lot of my problems are to do with habit; I’ve been really good at making lunch and dinner (and freezing portions, etc) but some days I will still be tempted to leave the house and ignore my foil-wrapped sandwich behind, ready to get some food out. I don’t even know why! Again, more talking myself out of things. I’m sure this feeling will pass. I’m also rubbish at making breakfast, for some reason!

I managed to claw back around £100 in money this month from claiming back on some delayed train tickets, and refunding a small £20 expense I probably wouldn’t have bothered with previously. This has helped with the wedding expenses from earlier in the month. I won’t be able to do this every month, but it’s made me realise that it’s worth going through admin rigmaroles sometimes to get your money back. My trains are delayed ALL the time - how much money have I wasted in the past in not claiming it back?!

This is horrible to say, but I think a lot of my friends have gotten used to me always piping up to buy the first round/dinner, etc. I took a step back this month, and there were definitely a few awkward bill moments. I don’t necessarily blame them - sometimes, they will pay, but I suppose they’re used to my constantly open wallet!

Finally, I bought a cheap pair of boots a month and one of them has already broken I have to wait until payday to replace them, but it gives me time to look for a good deal and better quality. I’m also going to repair this one, instead of throwing it away. I’d never have thought to do that before.

So..there we are: a few random thoughts hastily jotted down during lunch. I’ll be reading through other diaries later in the week and back on payday with a more thorough budget analysis and plans for the next month ahead. Until next time: let’s all keep going! (Side note - I just got HORRIBLE deja vu sitting here! Ugh)!

EmotionalSpender

In terms of positives this month, I’ve reduced my drinking (no alcohol for just under two weeks), not gone out for dinner (although been out for some coffees, spent no money on clothes or books or random stuff, bulk-cooking as best I can with the space, and seeking out free trials for things - classes, free coffees etc)!

[Deleted User]

Lots of positives there, you're doing so well! But get those boots back to the shop - even if it was longer than a month since you bought them, you can very reasonably argue you should expect a pair of boots to last longer than a month

It is really interesting what you find out about your friends when you start reeling in your own spending - I found the same thing. Or perhaps you just become more aware of it! I have a friend who never buys the first round - they are just thoughtless more than anything else. We don't acknowledge it any more, and just buy our own, which works well, but was a little awkward to begin with. It is worth laying it out on the line though - depending on the person, you can make a joke of it, or you can just be honest, and you might be surprised at who else is trying to do the same

I've also got some big spending friends, who often eat out, but it is impossible for me to keep up with their spending. Instead, I often meet them for a drink before or after they go for dinner - I get a chat and a drink, but don't blow my budget entirely. Gives me more options to pick and choose from

Sorry, that's quite a lot of waffle and probably a bit of projection too

Fudgefund

Hey EmotionalSpender, I really enjoyed reading your diary and I've found it quite inspiring. I like the diaries of childless people batch cooking their lunches so you tick a lot of boxes for me and I have subscribed.

I totally get what you mean about the kitchen, when I used to house share I would avoid my housemates for no real reason to stay out of the way. I know you said you are struggling to prepare breakfasts - have you thought about doing overnight oats? Really quick to prepare (5 minutes) infinite amount of combinations and totally acceptable to eat at your desk when you get into work. I love waking up and pulling my oats out of the fridge. So many smug points.