Life changing decision.

trickydicky802

andys15 wrote: »

Hi.
Why am i feeling like this? Why do I want to move. Really don’t understand it as we are almost mortgage free. I am 43 years old. If I was in this position 10 years ago then I would have just bought the house. I just don’t get why I am looking on rightmove every other day.
Anyone else feel like this. Whats driving it. The house would be too big with 2 kids living at home, it will be massive when they leave.
I know there are bigger problems in the world but I just don’t know why I feel I need to make a move. Mid life crisis?

I found myself in a similar situation, though a little later than you at 48. Mortgage free, debt free, nice house in a good area, good career job, child en route to uni within a couple of years. I also started looking to move, in my case aiming for something with 'land' rather than a garden and, preferably, not overlooked.

My spreadsheet models proved the basic plan was eminently affordable and getting a new mortgage would have been easy because the equity in the current house would mean I'd be looking for less than 50% LTV. Then something interesting happened. I started to wonder if taking on a new mortgage as I entered my 50s was really such a good idea. We take on debts to buy our first house when we are young and energetic and then strive to become mortgage-free. I had already achieved that, so should I really 'start-over' again at 50? What if I was made redundant? Could I find another job in my 50s? Etc, etc. But I knew I still wanted to move.

Rightmove surfing was throwing up some perfect houses with the desired land and seclusion but would require a significant mortgage . . . until I started looking much further afield (I lived in Hertfordshire) and found larger houses in a few acres (mainly in the west country) for half the price of my current one with a typical garden! Unfortunately, commuting would be a problem . . . until I wondered about changing jobs, after all I wouldn't need a mortgage so could perhaps find an easier job with less stress - an attractive proposition! - and take a salary cut.

I started playing with my spreadsheet numbers and ended up 'proving' to myself that I wouldn't actually need to get another job . . . which I found hard to believe at first but even with generous 'contingency' included the numbers showed it was just about possible. Then I realised that if I didn't have a job I would have plenty of time to buy a house in need of renovation, making it even cheaper and thus releasing even more equity.

Anyway, cutting to the chase, that's exactly what I did. Retired at 49 to a dilapidated 16th century listed house about twice as large as my prevous house and set in about 4 acres and not overlooked by neighbours - perfect! I did have a bit of good fortune in that I was able to 'wangle' redundancy from my employer which gave me an almost 6 figure payoff, so that certainly helped. But basically I used the equity released from the previous house plus the redundancy payment to provide sufficient income until my pension kicked in at 60 a few years ago now.

12 years on from that 'mid-life crisis', I've almost finished renovating the new house - which has actually been very enjoyable - and am still debt-free. As for my career, I can honestly say I've never once regretted retiring early, even though most of my friends throught I was mad and wouldn't know what to do with my time. In fact, very shortly after retiring I began to wonder how I ever managed to find the time to actually go to work! The answer, of course, is that I was compromising all my other interests - as we all have to do for the financial imperative of earning a living!

Anyway, the point of this ramble is to suggest that having reached 'mid-life' in a financially stable position gives you many options. One option is certainly to 'move up' another rung by taking on more debt to fund a bigger house etc, but there may well be other options that can return total independence from the daily worries about keeping your job as you get older and interest rates rising on your debts etc. I'm in no way suggesting that my change of lifestyle would suit everyone, but it has worked out spectacularly well for me and I have absolutely no regrets.

Good luck in whatever path you choose. Just be careful to do your sums first!

andys15

Ok. We viewed the house yesterday. Didn’t like it. The photos and estate agent write ups definitely did it too much justice.
Felt a bit of relief as was worried my wife was going to love it. She likes it more than me but felt it was definitely overpriced.
Another alternative I have been looking at is a loft conversion.
Has anyone got any advice on how to finance this as I am a little confused. Maybe this is for another forum but I still want to be mortgage free ASAP.
So in brief I have 16 months left on my mortgage. The actual mortgage is £4794 a month and I overpay £706 a month. The fixed rate runs out in 15 months and if I want to do additional borrowing the interest rate is 4.18%.
I am confused how to do additional borrowing and tie it in with the current mortgage. Would you go to a different lender for the extra I need. The idea being once my mortgage is paid up then the £5500 goes to the additional borrowing hopefully adding only a year to my Mf date.

Tropically

When I was younger, we lived in a terraced house that was about 2000 sq ft/200 m2 so a good size. When I was about 16 or 17, my parents bought a lot and self-built a huge detached house, four bedrooms, five bathrooms, separate TV room, swimming pool, double garage, the works. It wasn't finished before I went to uni so I never lived their properly. So it was just my parents, sister and dog in this huge house. A few years later and my sister moves out. My parents no longer go upstairs because they don't need that much space.

I believe they built it to keep up with the Jones's. It wasn't good timing and they didn't need the space. I think they felt like they wanted to have the house of their dreams and now they could afford it. I believe they were motivated by what other people had and wanted to show off. I think they were reliant on other people's opinions of what success looks like.

Now 10 years later, my parents both still work. They could have retired a long time ago, but they haven't. They are talking about downsizing and where they would live. They talk about selling the house. But my mum cries and says that she's never got to properly use the house. She hasn't enjoyed it as much as she could. She says there are so many things that she needs to do in the house now because a big house 10 years on needs tons of maintenance. She thinks after 10 years she's not go her money's worth from it.

If you asked them, they probably wouldn't regret their decision. They are happy that they built the big house. But it wouldn't be the option I would choose. Not at the stage they did, with kids about to move out and go to university. I am not as motivated by what other people think of me. Even after building a huge house, they still feel inferior to their friends. They have a couple they are friends with and they often say, "We are having dinner with the Smiths - they have more money than God."

Do you want a bigger house because you want people to view you as successful?

andys15

Thanks tropically.
It’s not the reasons to show off to others. It might be a feeling if we deserve it as we work hard. I’m not so sure though.

tootallulah

I think you have never lived in a house you have fallen in love with - if you had loved the big house you would have bought it....so you want a beloved house - start looking for it! You have some clear ideas of what you want - and it may not be bigger but it will be quieter, less over-looked etc.

[Deleted User]

Personally I would look for the dream house with the peace and seclusion you want at a far lower value. The house you want now will not necessarily be the house you need years ahead though and you may move again.


Financial freedom is the most valuable commodity we can have IMO, if things go wrong at work just walk away. No longer having to be a wage slave, wonderful.


I am in the situation of having land and wishing to build my dream home however I am having thoughts of practicalities. The fact is in my early 50's I have my mobility and can drive. When I am perhaps 80's and can't drive how do I get to shops, Dr's , amenities etc with no bus close by I may also not be able to climb stairs. Having a large detached house may be wonderful now but as a possible lonely 80's with no near neighbours and no way to get anywhere how isolating.


Factoring these things in I don't think I will keep working to fund something in all likelihood I may have to move on from in 20yrs.

andys15

Thanks guys. I have now viewed another house. A lovely barn conversion. My wife fell in love but although I loved it, I could see too many negatives. Although if they knocked £150k off it would be hard to resist.
What I am resisting is putting my house on the market. If I did that I think it would get serious.
Still think I will move. Convince myself I only live once blah blah blah, but then I look at my mortgage account getting lower and I want to stay.
I think the compromise is loft conversion and knocking down walls to the garage. Although I keep putting that off as I want to be mortgage free too. My wife doesn’t understand but it’s me that calculates my mortgage quite a few times a month, see what an extra grand would do etc etc. It was my idea to reduce the term so drastically. Maybe I am looking so much it’s making it go slower and my inpatient to be mortgage free is causing this. If I got a bigger mortgage it would end this ocd about getting this now £84k mortgage done.

andys15

Think we have decided to stay put. I have viewed a few houses but when push came to shove I want to retire early.
So the compromise. A loft and garage conversion. Had the builders round. Probably looking at about 80-100k. Mortgage around £79k at the moment. Fixed rate runs out on the 31/12/2020. Mortgage would have been cleared by that date, well about £3k in jan 2021 would have been my last payment.
So how do I finance this. I have put a post on mortgage and endowments. The aim is to be mortgage free ASAP and stick with my £5500 mortgage monthly payments. In December I will go to 1% ERC. Is my best bet to take the ERC as additional borrowing with NatWest is about 4-5%. Please someone help with numbers.