Life changing decision.

1.1K Posts


Hi.
I have been a MFW for a few years now. About 2 years ago I reduced the term of my mortgage from 23 years to 3.5years with my mortgage going from about £950 to currently £5500.
All had been going well. Standard of living is good. Lots of holidays so it is affordable. I have 16 payments left with about £89000 owing.
Kids have grown up, we are talking about early retirement. But we have been getting itchy feet for a few months.
I don’t know why. My house is valued at £400k as I had an estate agent round recently, as that is how serious we seem to be about this mad idea.
We have fell in love with a house. It’s at £1.1 million and will require a 15 year mortgage. I have looked at virgins 15 year fixed as I like certainty of my direct debits. It’s comes out at £5521 so just £21 above what I pay now.
One child is about to move to uni for her final year and my lad is 18 and won’t be living here for much longer. Well maybe 3 or 4 years.
Why am i feeling like this? Why do I want to move. Really don’t understand it as we are almost mortgage free. I am 43 years old. If I was in this position 10 years ago then I would have just bought the house. I just don’t get why I am looking on rightmove every other day.
Anyone else feel like this. Whats driving it. The house would be too big with 2 kids living at home, it will be massive when they leave.
I know there are bigger problems in the world but I just don’t know why I feel I need to make a move. Mid life crisis?
I have been a MFW for a few years now. About 2 years ago I reduced the term of my mortgage from 23 years to 3.5years with my mortgage going from about £950 to currently £5500.
All had been going well. Standard of living is good. Lots of holidays so it is affordable. I have 16 payments left with about £89000 owing.
Kids have grown up, we are talking about early retirement. But we have been getting itchy feet for a few months.
I don’t know why. My house is valued at £400k as I had an estate agent round recently, as that is how serious we seem to be about this mad idea.
We have fell in love with a house. It’s at £1.1 million and will require a 15 year mortgage. I have looked at virgins 15 year fixed as I like certainty of my direct debits. It’s comes out at £5521 so just £21 above what I pay now.
One child is about to move to uni for her final year and my lad is 18 and won’t be living here for much longer. Well maybe 3 or 4 years.
Why am i feeling like this? Why do I want to move. Really don’t understand it as we are almost mortgage free. I am 43 years old. If I was in this position 10 years ago then I would have just bought the house. I just don’t get why I am looking on rightmove every other day.
Anyone else feel like this. Whats driving it. The house would be too big with 2 kids living at home, it will be massive when they leave.
I know there are bigger problems in the world but I just don’t know why I feel I need to make a move. Mid life crisis?
Debt free. March 2020
Mortgage free-August 2021
Planned retirement date- 19/5/2026
£29500 saved. Target £420000(19/05/2026)
Mortgage free-August 2021
Planned retirement date- 19/5/2026
£29500 saved. Target £420000(19/05/2026)
0
This discussion has been closed.
Latest MSE News and Guides
Replies
2nd Property Mortgage at £275,000. Mortgage free: 2049 :eek:
Total OPs: £29529
We live on a big estate. Overlooked all sides. Traffic is getting worse here. Building lots more houses where we live too. But don’t think that’s driving it. I work shifts so miss all the traffic.
Our plan was to pay mortgage then save the money when it’s paid off and retire in 7 years max. This will add 8 years to my working life.
Cannot understand this urge and don’t know where it is coming from. We both feel it. We both keep convincing ourselves it’s a bad move and then we think we will just make the move.
Mortgage free-August 2021
Planned retirement date- 19/5/2026
£29500 saved. Target £420000(19/05/2026)
Follow your head or your heart ?
**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
MFW. Finally mortgage free February 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
Like beanie said, it seems a real head/heart decision.
I would be tempted to take a step back from it and list all the reasons for and against - and check what other properties with a lower price tag could meet those requirements - perhaps even see a coach or a counsellor to try and unpick what is driving it.... and if you're sure, and you can afford it - go for it - but only once you're sure you are doing it for the right reasons....
I think what is driving it is possibly an age thing.
Like most people when we were a younger couple with a young family you dream of the big house.
Then the last 10 or so years, we have just got on with living. Raising the kids.
Now I am looking at my life thinking where I lost the ambition to get the big house. Although now it doesn’t feel nearly as important it has become achievable. To be honest it’s been achievable for about 2 years but I never even considered it. Which is confusing me as I don’t know where this is coming from now
Perhaps as I am getting closer to Mortgage freedom. Perhaps that is making me feel old.
Mortgage free-August 2021
Planned retirement date- 19/5/2026
£29500 saved. Target £420000(19/05/2026)
Yes we are both salaried and the pay will only go up. Obviously you don’t know what will happen in the future but i suppose that is true of anyone.
Although when I first reduced the term of the mortgage, my wife wasn’t happy and I managed to convince her with your argument.
Over a short term, in my head I kind of lived month to month, knowing that if we got into trouble it would have been quite easy to increase the term. And as each month has passed by we get closer to it being paid off and the risk significantly reduced.
This move increases risk which would be hard to do anything about if things go wrong.
When my heart and head is convinced to move, it is this that makes me hesitate again.
Mortgage free-August 2021
Planned retirement date- 19/5/2026
£29500 saved. Target £420000(19/05/2026)
I'm also hoping to sown several months each year elsewhere once retired so I would have no need for a bigger property.
Is there a compromise?
Can you not look for a house that solves all your current niggles but is far cheaper than £1.1m?
I'm not sure I will be helpful, but my thoughts....
I'm the same age as you, mortgage free. My OH and I don't live together and are thinking about doing so. I confess getting any mortgage is unappealing, and getting a " large" mortgage a complete no deal for me.
My reasoning, I am now self employed. I paid off my mortgage to buy my freedom. Which I did. I think in your situation I'd be asking myself is the freedom worth trading for £1 mill house. £5000 + per month until 58? What if you get ill? Tired? Sick of your job? A million other reasons? What if you were made redundant?
As for traffic and being overlooked, as you are obsessed with rightmove, could you look for somewhere more rural, and also stunning, a bit further away from where you are currently with a view to buying in 18 months ish? You would then effectively be MF and might find somewhere lovely where you'd not need another mortgage.
The million pound place. Does it have stairs? By the time you own it you may not be able/want to climb them. Will you have a cleaner for this mahoosive house. Cleaning my own place makes it clear I don't want anywhere much bigger. Gardening a massive garden, maintaining a pool ( especially if outdoor - how often would you realistically get to use it).
I agree it's a head vs heart decision, but I'd really seriously consider the freedom you would give up for this new house.
Good luck, I'll read on to see what you decide.
Bexster