Employee Awards Issue

happyandcontented

A close friend of mine works in a team of 4, two of whom are long-serving, whilst the other 2 joined 3 months ago. Her line manager nominated the other long-serving employee for an employee annual award because (and this is what she said to my friend to justify the nomination) 'she has a very hard home life and yet she is always neat as a new pin' No mention of any work-related successes or anything other than her home life issues.

I also work in the same organisation and I am aware that to avoid creating division within teams LM's never nominate their own team members, however, this LM is well known for being oblivious to the nuances of good team management and has ignored this unwritten rule.

My friend is very upset that non-work related issues have been factored into such an award. However, her problem is that she is very friendly with the person who has received the award and doesn't want to cause a fuss. When it was originally mentioned to my friend by her LM she was non-commital as she fully expected her LM to have a think about whether it was an appropriate action. Clearly, she didn't do that.

I have tried to tell her to let it go and that in the scheme of things it doesn't matter, but she feels that because it was an all-staff presentation other people will believe that the reasons for the nomination are work-related and that she is in some way not as good an employee.

I am sure no one is thinking that it is yesterday's news already, but my friend is angry and upset and cannot seem to move past it. To add insult to injury, the wording on the award does refer to 'going the extra mile etc' as obviously, she couldn't put down the real reason.

My friend has mentioned resignation as she feels undermined by this manager as this is not the first time something has happened which has upset and annoyed her.

I have discussed this with her on many occasions and she feels much of it stems from the fact that she does have a good home life, a great supportive family and is comfortably off and her LM resents her, as she has none of those things.

I am trying to offer her a sense of perspective here, but it is hard because I can see where she is coming from and I don't know how I would feel under similar circumstances.

How can I persuade her to let it go? What would others do?

General_Grant

happyandcontented wrote: »

A close friend of mine works in a team of 4, two of whom are long-serving, whilst the other 2 joined 3 months ago. Her line manager nominated the other long-serving employee for an employee annual award because (and this is what she said to my friend to justify the nomination) 'she has a very hard home life and yet she is always neat as a new pin' No mention of any work-related successes or anything other than her home life issues.

I also work in the same organisation and I am aware that to avoid creating division within teams LM's never nominate their own team members, however, this LM is well known for being oblivious to the nuances of good team management and has ignored this unwritten rule.

My friend is very upset that non-work related issues have been factored into such an award. However, her problem is that she is very friendly with the person who has received the award and doesn't want to cause a fuss. When it was originally mentioned to my friend by her LM she was non-commital as she fully expected her LM to have a think about whether it was an appropriate action. Clearly, she didn't do that.

I have tried to tell her to let it go and that in the scheme of things it doesn't matter, but she feels that because it was an all-staff presentation other people will believe that the reasons for the nomination are work-related and that she is in some way not as good an employee.

I am sure no one is thinking that it is yesterday's news already, but my friend is angry and upset and cannot seem to move past it. To add insult to injury, the wording on the award does refer to 'going the extra mile etc' as obviously, she couldn't put down the real reason.

My friend has mentioned resignation as she feels undermined by this manager as this is not the first time something has happened which has upset and annoyed her.

I have discussed this with her on many occasions and she feels much of it stems from the fact that she does have a good home life, a great supportive family and is comfortably off and her LM resents her, as she has none of those things.

I am trying to offer her a sense of perspective here, but it is hard because I can see where she is coming from and I don't know how I would feel under similar circumstances.

How can I persuade her to let it go? What would others do?

Is your friend "always neat as a new pin"?

She's being over-sensitive. The award will be forgotten about by other staff members in next to no time.

happyandcontented

General_Grant wrote: »

Is your friend "always neat as a new pin"?

She's being over-sensitive. The award will be forgotten about by other staff members in next to no time.

Yes, she is always very well dressed and in the appropriate professional attire.

Brynsam

happyandcontented wrote: »

My friend is very upset that non-work related issues have been factored into such an award. However, her problem is that she is very friendly with the person who has received the award and doesn't want to cause a fuss.

How can I persuade her to let it go? What would others do?

I think she needs to grasp that life isn't fair - always a hard lesson to learn, however old you are - and frankly get over it. You've heard her out, now it's time to kindly but firmly suggest she stops dwelling on it and just gets on with her job. She doesn't want to cause a fuss, but that's exactly what she is doing, albeit not to the recipient of the award.

elsien

Your friend is seriously over-thinking this one.
If she's really considering resigning because a colleague has been nominated for an award and she hasn't, she either needs to get some perspective or get some help.

Is there anything else going on at work which underlies this issue? You mention it's not the first time she's got upset - if these are valid reasons (and this one isn't) she should either address them in the appropriate way, let it go, or start job hunting.

TELLIT01

I understand it's irritating when this type of thing happens, but the reality is that your friend can do nothing about it without taking it up with more senior management, and that is likely to have serious fallout for somebody.
She needs to choose her battles, not take on one she can't win.

happyandcontented

elsien wrote: »

Your friend is seriously over-thinking this one.
If she's really considering resigning because a colleague has been nominated for an award and she hasn't, she either needs to get some perspective or get some help.
Is there anything else going on at work which underlies this issue?

Only the other incidents which have happened when the LM has acted insensitively ( and I know that to be true because she has been taken to task by her own LM for the way she has spoken to two other managers more senior than her) Her lack of people skills are well known, but she never seems to learn from her errors even though she says she tries to.

theoretica

How do you feel when someone in another team gets an award? I think 'yes, she's great' and frankly don't think at all about other people (many of whom I know are great) who didn't get the award.

happyandcontented

theoretica wrote: »

How do you feel when someone in another team gets an award? I think 'yes, she's great' and frankly don't think at all about other people (many of whom I know are great) who didn't get the award.

I agree, but I think that the issue is that only having 2 long serving team members and the LM choosing to nominate one and not the other is divisive. Particularly so, when it is not usual for LM's to nominate at all.

I don't think anyone will have thought twice about it, but my friend believes that her LM has done this deliberately to put her in the difficult position of not being able to even ask her about it in case the other team member is told and is upset.

I don't know her LM well, but what I do know of her means I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. I haven't told my friend this though, as I don't want to inflame the situation.

getmore4less

Sometimes people are not as good as they think they are.

"neat a a new pin"

Easy get out for the LM as the alternative of saying you are not as good would not go down well.

happyandcontented

getmore4less wrote: »

Sometimes people are not as good as they think they are.

"neat a a new pin"

Easy get out for the LM as the alternative of saying you are not as good would not go down well.

I agree it would be a difficult conversation to have, but it would be more honest if that is the case.

My friend is not averse to criticism and would have been receptive to any issues with her performance etc, but I think that her LM would have been only too glad to go down that route if it had been needed or warranted.

Maybe that should be her approach if she really can't just let it go? Ask her LM how she can improve, as she feels the award signals that there must be performance issues despite what she said originally.

However, actually, my friend is extremely good at her job and is sought out by other managers to work in their departments on secondments very regularly. Again, that is an issue for her LM as she needs her to do part of her job as she is a bit inept and if my friend is elsewhere then her LM has to cope on her own.