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In trouble with Debt - Now cannot get a loan

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Loans
33 replies 3.8K views
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  • edited 16 August 2019 at 9:37AM
    MEM62MEM62 Forumite
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    edited 16 August 2019 at 9:37AM
    I agree that i have debts, but this one loan would cost us less and be easier to pay, im not sure why that cannot been seen by a lender. For as complicated as money lending is, this seems to be a pretty obvious fix.

    The lender sees it much clearer than you do. They know that consolidation loans often do not work and, in many cases, only free up paid off credit cards for further spending, hence fuelling the debt spiral.

    You cannot borrow you way out of debt. At some point you have to stop living beyond your means, bring your spending under control and take steps to address the debt.
    And if a credit rating is made up, why is it so bloody important to everyone?!

    Because they believe the advertising.
    I'm not trying to get rid of my debt fast, I'm just lost on how to make my monthly payments easier

    You can only do that by addressing your over-spending. You need to make some life changes.
    I've tried to cut back all our spending but its hard with 2 kids.

    Post up an SOA and you will be given lots of useful advice to help you.
    I'm failing my family because i cannot fix this, even tho 75% of the debt is my wife's i still see it as my duty to fix this

    That needs to change if you are going to resolve this. It is not your duty to address this. You have done that in the past an look where it's got you. As your wife has not had to deal with the consequences of her spending she has not learnt from the experience. You both need to fix this. You need to stop enabling her to run up debt and you both need to work out a plan for addressing the debt.

    You have had some very good advice from other members of this forum. Heed it or things will just continue to spiral out of control.

    You will not be able to borrow your way out of this situation. It's time for a different approach.
  • I have only listed/described our situation as 'me and her' to show the totals for each person.

    Her previous debt issues were under control like i said untill her father past away.

    I decided to take on her debts to help her rebuild, but things have taken a turn for the worse.
  • bigisibigisi
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    I have only listed/described our situation as 'me and her' to show the totals for each person.

    Her previous debt issues were under control like i said untill her father past away.

    I decided to take on her debts to help her rebuild, but things have taken a turn for the worse.

    Yet you say you're the one failing your family whereas it's her who's done all the damage and you're left picking up the pieces.

    As has been said, unless she sees any consequences of her overspending she's not going to stop so you'll consolidate only for her to keep increasing the debt.
  • lindenslindens Forumite
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    go over to the debt free wannabee board and read up about doing a statement of affairs (SOA). Gather together all your debts, the total o/s and the interest rates. same for any credit cards. get wage slips and bank statements
    fill out the SOA completely truthfully. this is important - if you dont do it truthfully its a pointless exercise and the only person losing out will be you.
    If you are brave post the sOa on the DFW board and ask for advise on areas where you can cut back on outgoings. Even if you arent, it will be a worthwhile exercise
    Now both of you must keep a spending diary for a month and see where you are spending your money. every . single . penny
    On the DFW is a diary section - read peoples diaries and see where and how they cut back each month
    You're not your * could have not of * Debt not dept *
  • AliceBannedAliceBanned Forumite
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    You have posted here at the right time because it's not too late to get a grip on this.


    Speak to Stepchange and go on the DFW Board to start budgeting. Your income looks sufficient to repay the debts but probably only just. You need advice. Consolidation may be possible down the line to make things easier but once you are in a position to get a consolidation loan you may by then have changed your attitude and may want to try to get rid of debt altogether (which doesn't require consolidation) and start saving. Progress can be slow so be patient and take it one step at a time.
    DFW. PayDBX 2019#163 :A
    Debt at LBM: £18,335
    Current debt: £6,151
    Mort overpaid £800 EF: £200
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  • peliroccopelirocco Forumite
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    You need to look at this as joint debt / joint income and account for every penny you both spend . You cannot keep taking on her debt if her spending is an issue
    Vuja De - the feeling you'll be here later
  • MEM62MEM62 Forumite
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    I have only listed/described our situation as 'me and her' to show the totals for each person.

    And to show where the debt was built up and what you have previously done to try and resolve the situation.
    Her previous debt issues were under control like i said until her father past away.

    I do not understand how that event impacted her finances?
    I decided to take on her debts to help her rebuild, but things have taken a turn for the worse.

    As you have pointed out, you took on her debts and that did not lead to a positive outcome. You therefore need a different approach this time round. If you repeat what you did last time you can expect the same result as last time - ie further debt.
  • iolanthe07iolanthe07 Forumite
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    The problem with a consolidation loan is that the lender had no guarantee that you will use the loan to pay off your existing debt. Lenders know that some people will take out a consolidation loan and then blow it on a new car or a holiday or some such, and end up with twice as much debts as they started with.
    I used to think that good grammar is important, but now I know that good wine is importanter.
  • edited 16 August 2019 at 4:14PM
    sourcratessourcrates Forumite, Board Guide
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    edited 16 August 2019 at 4:14PM
    Consolodation of debt is not a recognised debt solution that any advisor worth their salt would ever recommend.


    Most bankrupts or insolvents have consolodated their debt at least once, most more than that, the biggest single problem with it, is that the consolodated lines of debt do not get closed down, as the debtors do not change their spending habits once they consolodate, so the temptation to use those credit lines increases with time, then bang, all of a sudden the cards are maxed out again.

    We see it all the time on the debt boards, the only way to successfully deal with problem, unafordable debt, is to change your spending habits, and then possibly make use of one of the following formal, or informal debt solutions :

    Bankrupcy (formal)

    Individual Voluntery Arrangement (formal)

    Debt Relief Order (formal)

    Debt Mangement (informal)

    Of course it may just be better budgeting or maybe stoozing of the debts thats required, a Statement of affairs (SOA) usually tells us what we need to know.
    Why not pop over and ask for some advice.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File and Ratings, Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
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  • Looking at how much easier it would be on lower payments misses the point. You have show yourself to be someone who gets into debt problems, and you are on the edge of defaulting.

    You are asking a company with no or small exposure to you to expose themselves to your risk, and for a lower return than did lenders when you were in less trouble.

    Why would they do that? They know that you are a risky proposition, what would make them want to lend to you.

    Until you sort yourself out you are going to struggle I think to find a lender so lax as to want you on their books.

    What is your plan B?
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