Torn between promotion and low-paid work/life balance - unbiased opinions please

ChasingtheWelshdream

Hi All,

I don't want to reveal too many details and identify myself, but I'm in a bit of a pickle and feeling completely torn. I've talked long and hard with those closest to me and am still in anguish over what to do. I wonder if you could let me know your unbiased opinions please?

I have been successful in a promotion, and have accepted plus submitted my resignation. I now have serious doubts, but my job has already been offered to another so I can not retract this. I'm really not sure whether to continue with the promotion, or start looking elsewhere.

Current (soon to be ex) role

The work is low paid with no significant increase in sight (public sector and I am at the top of my grade). The work is repetitive and boring, but not at all brain-taxing. I work 3 days a week, perfect flexible hours. The team is well established and we get on really well. I work my hours, do my job well and forget all about the job until the next week. It really is the perfect work/life balance - albeit at times mind-numbingly boring and hence frustrating.

I am well-thought of and know I am capable of so much more. So, I saw an internal job advertised (also public sector) and went for it - not really expecting to get it.

New Role A complete career change, and I have no experience in the field. Also part time, over 4 days. Agile, flexible working (when competent). It's a training scheme which guarantees a £12k payrise within 3 years - alongside a university qualification. On paper, it's a complete no brainer and I can't believe I am having second thoughts.

But...... I can't shake off a feeling of dread - as if I have made a huge mistake in pursuing it. I was amazed I was successful and felt under pressure to accept and tender my resignation in order to agree a start dated. As soon as I had, I felt sick. And the anxiety has not abated in the weeks since. When my colleagues were arranging my leaving party, I wanted to cry. At no point have I felt excited.

I can't decided if these are normal 'better-the-devil-you-know' worries, or if I should listed to my gut instincts.

My main fear is committing to a job, which - salary aside - I would ordinarily have no interest in. I am worried about the study workload (I get excellent grades when I study, but through excess time/pressure/revising rather than natural ability and it does have an impact on my family life). I'm worried I will be no good, and my lack of experience will show and become a hindrance. I'm worried about the responsibility once I'm qualified and hating the pressure.

Most of all, I am worried about the extra working hours. Which is crazy, as I know people would love the working conditions I have been offered. But, I have always had a dream of developing my own business and had just started to make inroads into this on my days off. Nothing fancy - just building on a cottage industry that had made me some pin money in the past. This would be alongside my part-time hours, so I have a steady income alongside my fledging business.

I am worried of being resentful, stuck in a job whilst my partner does exactly what I am trying to do (he is also part-time, and successfully building his hobby into a lucrative part-time business).

In essence, I am not - nor ever have been - career minded. And this new role scares the living daylights out of me. I have been in miserable jobs before, and I'm terrified of committing to something I might hate (there is a contractual clause to repay training costs if I leave early). At the moment, apart from the tedium I have no 'baggage' with my job.

My family are still young, and on the one hand I want to earn more to provide better for them. On the other, we are financially OK as we are - not rich by any means, but mortgage/debt free and so do not need to earn much.

Of the two closest people I have confided in, one says to go ahead, and the other says I should listen to my gut and withdraw.

In terms of employment, I would likely be able to secure another position in my current department on the same terms, albeit with a couple of months wait. Or, I have already seen another admin job with the same hours elsewhere in the company I could apply for. However, if I do go back/similar I would likely never have the confidence to leave in future.

I realise this is a very rambling post, but with this feeling of impending doom as my start date nears, I am getting so stressed out I really don't know what to think.

Any/all opinions would be very, very welcome!

abbiesmom

Sounds more like fear of the unknown to me. If you don't go for it you will always wonder what could have been. As you say your previous post has already been filled so why consider a sideways move?

I would have loved to have studied and come away with my qualifications debt free.

At this point what have you really got yo lose?

ska_lover

I would always go for the work/life balance

But then I have done the managerial type roles, with the no life balance and ended up sating myself by buying stuff I didnt need to compensate for how awful my waking life was

I started a low pressure low paid job last week.

I wish I had done this years ago

Money isn't everything

elsien

Taking the role doesn't commit you to keeping it. I'm guessing you're not going to be signing any training agreements till you're in and inducted. You reckon it's going to take you a couple of months to find another job similar to the one you are in now.
I'd probably say give it a go. Not a half-hearted go, a proper "right, this is what I need to do/know and I'm going to do it properly." Give it a decent amount of time, because as you say you can't go back and you don't know the culture till you get there. Then if you do hate it after a proper try, then find something else.
I'm all for work life balance, but you're still doing 4 days flexitime. And I have to be interested in my job - mind numbingly dull doesn't do it for me.

Have you done the time-honoured lists of pros and cons for each course of action?

Mrsn

I think your overwhelmed by the upcoming change and that’s where the non settling anxiety is coming from.

If you don’t take the leap you will always wonder what if. As Elsien said give it a proper go for a couple of months and take it from there, you might be pleasantly surprised....

I’m due to start a new job in a few weeks that’s something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time but with limited experience, I too feel as though I’m going to be not up to scratch etc but I think we need to remember the interview panel have seen something in us so let’s have a little faith!

Dox

I couldn't be bothered to plough through such a long post, but I don't think I need to. You seem to have some very natural fear of change, but why not give it a go? The things in life we regret most are the ones we don't do.

ChasingtheWelshdream

Thank you all, some good food for thought.

I am most definitely scared of change this time, because of the fear of regret and throwing something good away needlessly. In contrast, I also know I’ll always wonder what I could have done if I turn it down.

I have gone through promotions before - some I loved, others not so much. But I have never had this feeling of dread before.

A while back, we made a complete life-changing decision on a whim which brought us to this perfect work/life balance we now have between us. We are very fortunate and I’m terrified of losing that because I got itchy feet.

But, I am also aware that part-time admin roles are advertised regularly within my employer. So there is that option if everything does go wrong.

I know I am being completely illogical, and it is very hard to articulate why, even in my own thoughts.

Thanks for your thoughts all 🙂

TELLIT01

Fear of regret works two ways. Potential regret of leaving a job you were comfortable in, if not particularly enjoying is one. The other is regret of having "What if..." hanging over you in the future.
Fear of the unknown is an understandable one and won't diminish until you are in the job and start to wonder what you were worrying about. Although you have accepted a new job, you aren't forced to stay if you find it really isn't right for you. All I would say on that aspect is to give it a decent amount of time, don't chuck it in at the first hurdle. Going into the job feeling negative will make every hurdle seem higher, and the little voice in your head will be saying "Told you so".
Good luck with the new job.

pjcox2005

I very much get the work/life balance point but it doesn't feel like the new role will compromise that too much.


If uncertain why don't you throw yourself in and set a target of completing 4-5 years. Save the additional money earnt if you don't need it and mark it as a fund for the business you want to start up.


Then if both job and business go well over the 4-5 years, you can make a leap in either direction with funds behind you to support the growth. May mean you've got an additional purpose to pursue the promotion and wage increase.

getmore4less

MY first thought was just do it, three years is not that long and you can always step back down to the lesser part time role if it gets too much or does not feel right(after the lock in period)

ChasingtheWelshdream wrote: »

A while back, we made a complete life-changing decision on a whim which brought us to this perfect work/life balance we now have between us. We are very fortunate and I’m terrified of losing that because I got itchy feet.

That struck me after reading that first post.

How much of on a whim was it relative to this one that is getting loads of thought.

But, I have always had a dream of developing my own business and had just started to make inroads into this on my days off. Nothing fancy - just building on a cottage industry that had made me some pin money in the past. This would be alongside my part-time hours, so I have a steady income alongside my fledging business.

I am worried of being resentful, stuck in a job whilst my partner does exactly what I am trying to do (he is also part-time, and successfully building his hobby into a lucrative part-time business).

As you are kind of OK financial with the current jobs, could you manage on one.

How quickly could you scale up these businesses if more time was allocated to them, any reasons you can both help build up each other business.

Going from pin money to being able to extract a sensible hourly rate can take a lot of effort and in effect very low pay for some time, then keeping the business at a level where the income is consistent can often be more than you might want.

Don't forget that you may also need to tell employers you have this business.

ChasingtheWelshdream

Evening all. :waves:

My apologies for not responding sooner - I have had a lot to think over and I didn't want to come back with rambling thoughts.

I have had some in depth discussions with those close to me, as well as my current manager - and have taken on board all your comments on here, for which I am extremely grateful.

The overwhelming consensus from everyone - bar one family member - is that I will regret turning the new job down without trying. My current manager understands exactly how I feel, but knowing me and my work also feels I should go for it. He has even had discussions with my new manager and is confident I will have no issues with my competency - which is reassuring.

They have said they would welcome me back with open arms should I choose, but that they have also sensed my frustration over the lack of progression in my role. They have said I am 'wasted' in my current role, which has helped my confidence a bit. Knowing this, it does seem crazy to give up before I've even reached the start line.

Being public sector, I also benefit from long-service employment rights, which means I would be eligible for re-deployment should I really hate it, and part-time admin jobs come thick and fast here.

I am feeling a lot calmer now, and have been looking at my extra day of work objectively. I am going to really make my day off count, and not fritter the time away on housework each week. The youngest kids are booked into after-school club for two days, and most weeks they should only be there for 1/2 hour after school ends, so there really isn't reason for me to feel guilty.

They have agreed that I can work from home at least one day a week, to help with school runs once I am trained up a little, and finish around 4pm on the days I am in the office (which is only 5 mins from home). I can also spread my annual leave so I am only working max 2 days each week over school holidays. My university training will not begin for a year, so I have plenty of time to ease myself in. My new manager has said "you will be agile, which means working to fit your lifestyle - not the other way round". I can't quite get my head around it, but I'm not going to argue!

Regarding the extra money - no, we would not be able to survive on just one wage unfortunately, as we are both part-time - a very deliberate decision. But, we are going to squirrel away all the extra I bring home to enable us to reduce hours/retire early in future. In the meantime, I will focus on building my little business up, with the aim of supplementing our income in future.

We will likely lose our tax credits, but I've also calculated I will be doubling my take-home pay within 3 years, even accounting for additional tax/insurance/pension. Once qualified, the pay progression through the scale is guaranteed further, so it really is an amazing opportunity, especially at my age! And seeing it on paper has rekindled the excitement I felt when I saw it advertised.

getmore4less wrote: »

How much of on a whim was it relative to this one that is getting loads of thought.

Going from pin money to being able to extract a sensible hourly rate can take a lot of effort and in effect very low pay for some time, then keeping the business at a level where the income is consistent can often be more than you might want.

Don't forget that you may also need to tell employers you have this business.

I could quote many people, but will just answer getmore4less's questions.

The 'whim', was to upsticks and re-locate lock, stock and barrel to the other side of the country in a space of 3 months, with only a zero hours contract waiting for me. Financially a one-way trip, but something we've never regretted, and in some ways we deliberately did not overthink it - otherwise we may have chickened out!

Our employers are aware of both our businesses and they do not conflict in any way, so that's fine.

My partner works part-time for the same employer, and works on his business evenings/weekends/days off. We could not live off this alone, but it does provide a few £k each year. His ultimate aim is to run the business full time in early retirement once the kids have flown the nest - a long way off but getting there. My ultimate dream is to do the same, but I need to really knuckle down.

In essence, I have decided to jump in feet first and give this opportunity everything I've got. If I'm going to do it, I'll do it well and see what happens. If, in six months I am really unhappy, then I will re-evaluate then.

Once again, thank you all for taking the time to answer and give a stranger your opinions. Although I am the only one who can make the decision, it does help to write things down and see objective replies.