Pay back and accountability while still staying in contact with dear family abroad.

ditty1234

So I have been reading and writing a lot on these forums since April, and I sort of started a diary but in the wrong place. So any ways here I am, past 50 well in debt, in rented house trying to get a drivers license and citizenship before Brexit, with a part time job, usually topped up to full time with extra hours, except in the holidays.
I am having a staycation for the first time ever, last year we drive to the other country and all was on credit cards. Basically it is between being from an other country and being a person with ambition that have ended me up in debt. I am now on a DMP and all this is fine, except or the last 2 month, when I have had extra income it has all been spent again on food (visitors), vet, and this F*** driving license that I have had to take from scratch as original country not accepted.
I guess I should be happy I have been able to pay for these things, as they are on off expenses it is quite certain they will not have to be repeated.
My other problem is that I am a serial part time worker, so even though I have worked my butt off most of the time, I have no real pension or assets of any kind. At the moment my DMP is set to take 14 years and the I will retire! So not a great outlook. On the other hand if I was actually working full time and not putting away money for citizenship £1300 all together then I could pay a lot more every month.
So beware - this diary might run for a long time.
SO what am I doing:
I have been religiously writing down all spends for the last two years, and i can see there are things that do not fit into any budgets.
Also I can see that while I save on food - it is also where I now hide my comfort shopping - lots of veggies equal a good life! Yes if you eat them!
Next month is my low income month along with September, based on a quick calculation I have £70 a week after all bills are paid, so this is for food and entertainment, as well as holiday activities for me and 2 children, one living at home and one into 2. year at uni.
So I am hoping we can get a bit of time together, and do something nice, but it certainly won't be anything we have to pay for doing. So I am feeling a bit sad and inadequate, but it will have to be and as I have no option for credit I will make it work.
SO at the moment I don't know why you would follow this thread, but if you want to see me get a driving license, get ds1 through uni(mostly thanks to him) keep ds2 going fingers crossed into A levels, get citizenship, set up a private pension plan, set up my own creative business (again), or get a full time job, pay off debt through reduced F & F, and buy a shared ownership flat, then follow me!
Is this the longest ever post?
IN reference to my title the choice for the next year is to support ds1 and ds2 as well as sort out loose ends in my life as in turning things around from a credit life to a surplus life.Wish me luck August and September will be the big test.

ditty1234

So it's Tuesday and 8 days till pay day ... my first two rounds of utility bills are coming through and I will get a refund on energy that will help cover my water bill. I found my water meter outside, signed up online and I'm basically on top of it.
I am trying to do stuff without taking on any new costs or expenses. Yesterday I was meant to start decorating a room, but got called to work in a nursery, which was boring but will pay for groceries next week. I did buy lunch as needed cold drink and didn't bring enough food.
Afterwards I went club running, made dinner from freezer and sat in the garden with ds for a long time chilling. Quite a perfect evening.
Today I made muffins for a friend and used some art materials I bought last year to make pictures, a very nice morning in the shade, and muffins will work as snacks for ds for his lunches.
Hopefully last payment on driving license tomorrow, but apart from that I should be done with any extra spending for now.

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary

ditty1234

Driving license sorted
Now on to staycationing for the next 3 weeks or so
In this time I want to decorate 3 rooms
Make images
Make curtains
Make skirt
Get art fund card for £15
Get train card for rail discount
All while waiting for my 5 creditors to default accounts, I think 2 are now defaulted or in the process.
Apart from that things are just rolling on for the rest of the summer. My budget is £80 a week, so it will be tight.

ditty1234

Guys just a quick update:
SO the next 2 month - well between now and November will be the most challenging so far. With part of my contract being hourly paid I might not get a full pay again until November. In July I did well doing extra cover work and this month I have made a little bit working in a nursery.
I finally also managed to get signed up for NHS care work, so will probably do this on the weekends until November - to pay for groceries.
DMP wise
I have 5 creditors and 2 have now defaulted my credit cards - reasonable since I stopped paying in April.
HSBC with loan and overdraft somehow looks like they are going now where. Would like to get them defaulted soon. As from what I understand it takes about a year for a default to go from red ot orange on your credit report. I don't mind, but still.
Emergency fund:
As a European national Brexit has sort of hit me and one issue has been having to take a driving license from scratch. Thanks to my cover work I was able to do this and still set a bit aside.
Pesky Pets in July my dog got a grass seed in her ear - off went about an other £150. Still a little was left in the bank.
Car trouble - the clutch died in my old-new car last Saturday and due to having local recovery only it cost me £265 in tow trucks to get my car sorted (luckily under warranty) So I now have a working car and a UK licence. So far so good. With this great range of challenges the only way my Emergency Fund was sustained was through a windfall of extra tax credits from 2018-19.
Planning for the future:
I am hoping I will survive through to November, but time will tell.
Once all of my debts are defaulted a year I hope to go self managed and if I have any funds at that time I will start thinking about about F and F's.
My confidence is still low, I don't know how I will apply for an actual full time job as this would help immensely but being accountable here and to my teenage/uni boys I am hoping they will learn from this as well.
Budgets:
I note down everything I buy and try to keep to budgets. My great challenge seems to be the groceries as were only two but two hungry ones so this seems to be a comparatively high - or challenging part of my budget.
I now have an intricate system though and at the end of this month I will do a careful reality check that the numbers add up. What comes in, what goes out and how much makes its way to the emergency fund and to the budget fund.

beanielou

Keep going

ditty1234

Well very few people is reading this and that is just fine. I just want to say that this diary is as all diaries slightly confessional and having completely failed to stay within my DMP budget for the last 2 month I am now terrified of going into the next 2 month of near nothingness.
The good news is that through my spending diary I know exactly where my money has gone and while I have overspent like a mad person, this was facilitated by working extra agency work and a small extra payout from the tax credit people.
The extra spending is about half emergencies £500 vet and car, a planned extra spending of £350 for new drivers license and then about 2-300 extra for holiday and summer sports activities and travel for 3 people(and redecorating 2 rooms for £50). So while I'm not cleared out, I just don't have anything extra. And yet I have still spent extra just in the last week: £20 in deposit for sewing machine repair, £19 for a 10 k run for me, £15 for ds train tickets, £10 for other ds train ticket to come home for visit(about a third of full price and I feel I should pay all of it!) Going out £20 (a running social, and a coffee for me and friend) SO that is £84 in a week basically on entertainment. I realise this is outrageous. But how do you guys deal with - not treating yourself, not feeling entitlement, with hobbies/activities that keeps your head healthy and keeps your social network going? A lot of this is still summer activities and will stop as soon as I hit term on September 1st. In the running club I am only doing 2 races this summer, while there is a plethora of charity races it could quickly get to be a high cost for a cheap hobby.
I am not buying any running kit, but will be saving up for new shoes and a team t-shirt at some point.
Anyways even with this spending I still sat at home all weekend, and didn't see anybody really.

So I feel that I am reading and planning to save money, but at the end of the day I just keep spending until there is nothing left.

And that is me trying to survive 2 month, then save up for a large EF, then for F and F, while hopefully getting a full time contract some time along the way.

ditty1234

Right so I have not been writing on here a massive amount but since this is a dreaded month or it is a fact that I just have a hard time finding continuity in my income, I just want to clarify the situation:
I have paid most bills - have under £100 left to go for this month.
I have a couple of hundreds left in my emergency account, so yes I can eat but for how long.
The earliest I am likely to get paid any extra money for cover work - if I get any is on the 27th.
My other hourly contract might kick in, but they are also likely to clash!
I had saved up for this, but after a range of emergencies it is now a reality that I have lost a day of hourly work at my regular job and so I am only working 3 days a week, which was never the intention.

The sad bit is that I have had this problem just about every year in the last 14 years, without taking the long term steps to commit to running a business efficiently on the side - or getting a full time job.

I enjoy the benefit from combining freelance w a permanent contract, but it is wearing me down and financially I am a swamp.

Iwantanewlife

Hey! Just wanted to say good luck on your journey. I am also debt busting and have a diary, although mine is full of me blabbering away about not much a lot of them time, but I find it really helps keep me on track!

I completely understand the frustration around being able to spend on entertainment, I have near on cut it completely and as a single mother I’ve really found that hard. I feel like I just work, and sit at home - that’s about it! However, after really cutting my food bill (I was a serial over spender on food) I have managed to get the odd bottle of wine etc, but nothing like I used to. The only thing that’s keeping me going is knowing that when I managed to be debt free I will have so much more freedom to have treats and not jeopardise my future security. Therefore, the quicker I get it done, the quicker I can have a little bit more entertainment freedom!

It sounds as though you really need to get a full time job, it may really help your mindset and worry having a set amount coming in each month!

Good Luck!

ditty1234

Gosh, the 'are you coming over for Christmas' question has arisen, but I'm just not ready, I barely have money for food.
What is keeping me going this week is - long days at work - no opportunity to spend, along with a fear of bills going out on the wrong day along with the money you have spend on your debit card being deducted from your available amount. A day where the available amount is the same as the amount in the account is a good day. Just mentioning.

ditty1234

Hi All, still working that 0.6 + agency working out ok now that it's term time again.
So the decision was squeezed through to go and see family, with a bit of luck it should cost me £200 that I am hoping to pay in November. But that is competing with the following extra bills in oct and nov:
DS 17th £100 incl party
Vet £60
Car service £100
Deposit on sports trip for DS £125
Water bill £100
House insurance £150
Car insurance - this will go up because of accident in Jan and me just getting a UK drivers license - this means I can't get an online quote as switched license so initial quotes was for 800 - I wanted to pay it straight out, but that now seems unlikely.
And this is in a period of 6-8 weeks. Most of my socialising now is the running and swimming 2-3 times a week, and its all paid up back in may. The swimming is £3 when I go. Every once in a while I go for a beer with a friend, but this usually comes to under £10 and is only once or twice a month. So my week to weekly spending is now very low on a normal week.
While I have some big bills coming up I will work at all possible opportunities between now and Christmas fingers crossed. I feel I am just using this diary to complain, I am not sure I am learning yet about actually saying no, and actually just lowering my spending.
I am not buying clothes or shoes, I am not getting my hair cut, I have been redecorating the whole house but the total bill so far is under £100 across the summer. I have only bought paint and one set of curtains. Everything else is recycled and repurposed.
Basically this week where I did a thorough meal plan on Saturday, stayed home all weekend, and haven't been near a shop since feels so right. AM hoping to keep it up till Saturday.
The other thin gis that I have a private debt of £550 tha tI am supposed to be responsible for, but I dont feel it's fair - with ex, but I need to get it out of the way so after Christmas I might just bite it and get it out of the way.
As you will notice my DMP is ticking away in the background and eventually I want to save for F & F's but at the moment that is not really an option.
Will spend weekends in Nov and Dec volunteering for community sports events - that should be mostly free social activities as well.
Anyways what a woffle, cant believe last year I was trying to pay £700 a month on credit cards and so stressed. While I have bills now, I am actually generally able to pay them up front.
I cant wait to get my EF up to £500 then I will put it some where safe and start again with a new pot! Fingers crossed.