Is Change possible? (When you're in a hole, STOP DIGGING!)

Lendrid

katsu wrote: »

I appreciate how you feel about missing the bargains. I'm very similar. The thing is, you didn't really need whatever they were selling cheap.

I've given loads of stuff to the charity shops and because we do gift aid I know that in the last few years it is well over £500. Might be £800 even over 5 years. Just think what that stuff cost me new?

I've been selling online recently and again made a few hundred quid. I know I spent over £1k more than I have sold things for. So really, how much of a bargain are the bargains we buy?

jwil wrote: »

I agree about the bargains. My DH does this.

A bargain isn't a bargain if you don't need it or use it. You haven't saved money, you've wasted whatever you spent on it.

I know that you guys are absolutely right about this. Nothing that I'd have bought that day was worth the money I wanted to spend on it. I thought I'd feel happier about it by now but I still have that nagging feeling that I missed out. I'm beyond frustrated with myself about it!

enthusiasticsaver

You have made a really good start and yes you will stop th8nking so much about money once this is your new normal.

The spending diary is a must. So is emergency savings so you don't need all those useless insurances that so many retailers like to flog us, most of which are never used. You are just lining their pockets.

I also agree that being sucked into thinking you are getting a bargain is how retailers make their money. Don't let it be yours. If you need something research the best place to get it. If you don't need it then why bother? There is enough rubbish in landfill as there is. Show your daughter that happiness is not buying things and being selective about where you spend is key.

On the plus side your credit card debt seems to be at 0% so make a plan to repay these before the deals expire. Your parents presumably are not charging interest and you have a plan with that going forward.

What rate of interest is being charged on the loan?

Lendrid

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

You have made a really good start and yes you will stop th8nking so much about money once this is your new normal.

The spending diary is a must. So is emergency savings so you don't need all those useless insurances that so many retailers like to flog us, most of which are never used. You are just lining their pockets.

I also agree that being sucked into thinking you are getting a bargain is how retailers make their money. Don't let it be yours. If you need something research the best place to get it. If you don't need it then why bother? There is enough rubbish in landfill as there is. Show your daughter that happiness is not buying things and being selective about where you spend is key.

On the plus side your credit card debt seems to be at 0% so make a plan to repay these before the deals expire. Your parents presumably are not charging interest and you have a plan with that going forward.

What rate of interest is being charged on the loan?

Hi Enthusiastic, thanks so much for taking the time to comment. The spending diary is actually getting easier as the days go on. I do feel a pang every time I add anything in there, but I think that's just the shock of writing down and being accountable for the money disappearing. We're going to use the whole of august as a fact finding month, then adjust the budgets for September. Hopefully then we'll have a really clear idea of how much debt we can pay off monthly.

With regards to the APR on the loan, I honestly don't know. I've been so focused on getting the credit cards paid off before their 0% runs out that it hadn't occurred to me to check. I'll put it on the list of jobs for today.

Recent pluses:
Another £35 off the CC.
Our little girl has got right on board with earning her money for doing her daily jobs.

Lendrid

We paid off our first (littlest) credit card yesterday, and I expected to feel really good about it.

I don't know why, but I just felt (feel) flat. I'm just trying to unpick why but it's so unexpected.

I think it's partly because we still don't have a clear budget, so I'm still feeling out of control with that. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm actually lying awake at night wondering if there's any point to any of it. The world seems to be on the verge of destruction...why are we putting ourselves through all this?!:o:o:o:o:o It's all really embarrassing but there's no point in a diary if I'm not being honest. I think I'll try and post again later when I'm not feeling so gloomy.

jwil

Well done on clearing a card :T

Hope you are feeling better now. There's a lot of crap in the world, but there's also a lot of good, and living simply and enjoying the small things can really help insulate you against a lot of it.

Squirrelly

Hi Lendrid,


Just stopping by as I have caught up on your diary and Im going to subscribe. I think you are incredibly brave to be dealing with everything you are and Im sorry you have been feeling gloomy and not getting the sense of satisfaction you feel you should, Im sure it will come.
I too am an emtional spender and I really admire your honesty. There is some great advice from the more experienced moneysavers.
Please be kind to yourself you are doing something that is really tough.

Take care
Squirrelly x

Lendrid

It's been a week since we paid off that first card and I really do feel so much better.

I think I'm going to have to bear in mind that my emotions are pretty up and down anyhow WITHOUT doing any of this work to clear our debt and become financially healthy.

My partner and I have talked a lot about striking a balance here between paying off debt as quickly as possible, and also making sure our mental health stays stable. It's a balance that we'll have to learn about as we go.

The spending diaries were going really well until we changed the app so that anything we spent through the bank automatically transferred over. I lost all accountability immediately, and also didn't have that pause before spending I'd been getting used to when we were entering everything manually. It's just another bit of the learning curve. We've taken that feature off today so will be back on it tomorrow with exact descriptions of what money is being spent on.

Listening to Smart Money Smart Kids again on audiobook has reignited my determination to change our financial health for the good of our little girl. The book is full of really good ideas but I just have to stick my fingers in my ears at the biblical references. Just not for me at all but that doesn't make the rest of the book less pertinent.

We've paid another 300 off the MBNA credit card today. Given the current projections for the month, that should be fine but I still will feel happier when we have done this information gathering section so we can get a strict budget in place. I was just worried that if we didn't pay off the 300 now if would inflate what I felt like we had to spend for the month!! It's only there because that's the minimum payment on the big credit card but we asked to move the payment date to the 1st of the month so it goes out as soon as OH gets paid. We didn't realise at the time but this meant that they've not taken the payment for August at all?!?! No wonder they state you can only do it twice a year!!!!!! :rotfl: Anyhow, we'd agreed to use the snowball technique to pay off the credit cards so working to pay off the smallest one first etc etc, so that 300 payment has come off the MBNA card, bringing its total to under 2000 now. That feels pretty damn good!

It feels weird to me to think that just a month ago we'd have splurged that payment on something else as soon as we realised it didn't HAVE to be paid off the debt. Our mindset it so completely different now. Long may it last :T:T:T

lindez

Hi Lendrid just found your diary and subscribed well done on your achievements so far I will be following you and willing you along. x

Chrystal

Just found your diary and wishing you well on your journey.

Will be cheering you on from the sidelines.

savingholmes

Congrats on starting your baby steps to a new future. Great to have cleared the first card. Brilliant to already be changing mindsets. You will start to get momentum I'm sure - it sounds like you already are.