Trying to be back in black, in the words of ACDC

teafor2

Evening Fudge Well done on the NSD's especially over a Bank Holiday weekend.

I can only buy spiral notebooks that you can rip pages out of because I like to be able to 'clean' them by ripping all the pages out I've jotted stuff down on and starting again. Go figure

Work collections should be banned - seriously. And I bet everybody thinks the same. At least your colleague mentioned the money already owed but if you've not got it back by the time the next one comes around I'd be inclined to say "put in for me and we'll be quits" :rotfl:

It's so irritating not being able to account for money - does your bank show a list of pending transactions that might throw some light on the matter.

Good luck with the alcohol, or rather lack of it. xx

Fudgefund

Hey teafor2, thanks for popping by. You are so right about work collections, you can almost hear a universal groan as they come round my office. There seem to be so many in my office as well, the rate at which people leave is ridiculous. I still do not have my £4 back. :mad: honestly this woman earns twice what I do.

The pending transactions were direct debits waiting to come out which I had accounted for so that was okay (a clear sign I was spending too long checking my bank balance when there was no need to). I'm still alcohol free, 13 days down. :j

I managed to limp my way through August and last weekend was my last expensive weekend (even that wasn't so bad due to me not drinking). I was all set to stay in this weekend and NSD my heart away however I've had terrible news that a close family member is very ill and this has just sent a shock wave through my family. I've got to go home this weekend which is £80 in train fare (bless DH he is going halves with me), and I don't know how much I'll spend. I'm going to do my best not to spend much but this is a set back.

I get paid in 10 days so just need to see out the next week, my train fare can come from the spare money I have next month. It's really important whilst I'm dealing with all this that I keep myself on track, so I'm trying self care (don't seem to have lost any weight though).

Fudgefund

Just re-read my last post, such wisdom. :rotfl: I've been a bit down trying to process the news about my family member, trying to keep other members of the family together. I've also had a terrible bout of PMT out of nowhere (I'm sure it's getting worse as I'm getting older) so I've just been roaming the convenience stores of the land buying and eating all manner of rubbish. This all ends here though, time to pull it back. The only positive thing I can say is that I am still alcohol free, up to 24 days now, so hopefully my liver is looking a bit more perky (do livers have a hard time processing mars bars? :rotfl:)

I have been paid, I'm not as excited as usual about this but largely this is due to my failings at the end of last payday month. I have loads of free weekends over the next month so although it's a 5 weeker I'm hoping I can have a good MSE month and stick to £40 per week for all spends. I've paid £60 off my FD card, £250 back to the joint savings and I've paid off the additional spend on my credit card which brings it back down to £1050 but no other movement. I'm going to try really hard to save money over the next few weeks and overpay to get it down to £1000. That's the goal. Thank goodness I don't have a hair appointment this month either! Right, off for a nice cheap day and to update my totals.

Chrystal

Hi FF :hello:

Just read your Diary from the beginning and have some ideas which may, or may not, be helpful:eek:

Firstly take a leaf out of other peoples books and DON'T carry spare cash. Put your £40 in an envelope/tin/drawer (not your handbag!) :cool: and only take with you the basic amount that you're going to spend. Then tell people you're on a budget.... you can always say your saving up for house repairs IF anyone is cheeky enough to say anything.

Speaking of budgets have you tried 'You Need A Budget' YNAB ? Many people on here swear by it and you can get 1 months free trial to see how you get on with it. From what I've heard this can sometimes be extended, and students get it free.

Put your cards somewhere safe - preferably frozen in water somewhere in the freezer - because when your using them it's not your money you're spending it's someone else's and you're gonna have to pay it back.

I know you've told your OH some of the debt that you have but to be honest I think you need to pull on your Big Girl Pants and be totally upfront with him about the whole thing. It doesn't make for an easy/happy life when you're constantly having to keep things secret. Much better to have it all out in the open (apart from anything else you'll sleep better)

On the subject of OH do you split the expenses 50/50 or as a % of your wages? ie if you earn £1000 and he earns £2000 you would pay 33.333% and he would pay 66.666% towards bills/expenses etc. It appears as though he has a lot more than you at the end of the month, so maybe this could be talked about at the same time as opening up about the extent of the debts.

I hope things improve with the poorly family member. It's awful when people are ill and you can't get there easily. (((hugs)))

I've subscribed to cheer you on, You can do this! X

Fudgefund

Hey Chrystal! Literally thank you for your helpful post.

I think you are right about the cash, I brought it in so that I wouldn't spend mindlessly on my card but there is no need to be carrying so much around with me, it's just tempting to buy junk food. I'm going to try and only take £2 out with me this week and see how I do. I have two Mars bars left over from last week (small) so if in case of emergency I will have these and not head off anywhere else. I've prepared all my lunches for this week so I'm hoping if I just don't leave the office I'll be able have at least four NSDs.

I will try YNAB - I've seen that recommended on this site before. My spending does tend to go a bit south when my mental health isn't great so anything to help that would be good. I don't think freezing my cards will do too much - I'm not big into shopping, and my cards are saved all over my phone so it's just too easy to use them online. I am trying though.

I know you're right about DH but I just don't want to tell him. I can't explain it. I don't want his help clearing the debt as he didn't build it up. I am accepting more help throughout the month from him on little things, he is a very generous lovely man - I just have a blind spot when it comes to letting him in on my financial mismanagement.

Thank you very much for the hugs re my family member, it's appreciated. The news really has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Good news - I've had a no spend weekend. However, my plan to pay £50 off BC is on the back burner as I've got to go home again next month which will cost me £44.20. If I have a very cheap couple of weeks I can claw this back so this is what I have to do.

Fudgefund

Rare midweek update as I am procrastinating and not doing what I am supposed to be doing:

Monday - spent 50p cash on milk for work (I cannot function without a morning coffee) and £8 on a gift for my niece's birthday (debit card, DH will also pay £8). I applied a voucher for 5% off with Amazon and saved about 80p. I can almost feel the snowball tumbling.

Today - £1 cash spent on a bar of chocolate. I really need to stop doing this, I just see chocolate as an affordable treat. I will be trying to make Weds and Thurs NSD to see if I can actually make it through a couple of days. I'm planning to leave my money at home as this may actually be the only thing that will stop me.

I feel as though I don't really believe I can achieve what I have set out to do and have a bit of a tendency to be negative about things as a result. I've been reading other diaries and they are a lot more inspiring than my one, so I'm going to try and up my positive mental attitude. I still haven't been to the gym, if I haven't been by the end of this month I am absolutely cancelling it. I have golden memories of a period earlier this year when I got quite into it, and that's putting me off cancelling. Curiously these memories can't quite entice me to actually make the move into the gym, so perhaps they're not as fond as I think they are.

I have realised that for spending money (not money for food/travel but extras), I have only £115 until 15/10/2019. :eek: You'd think this would give me some perspective on a bar of Dairy Milk blowing a £1 hole in this budget. You'd think, but no.

beanielou

I think 115 pounds for a month sounds grand.

Drawingaline

£115 sounds fine. But it's all relative I think. I haven't had that sort of spare cash in forever! But I have sinking funds and funds for the future, so actually if I have spare cash I waste it on crap food mostly.

Keep on plodding, it can be disheartening, but keep going.

Fudgefund

Thanks for the replies you two, it did actually make me feel a bit better. I have made it through two NSD's with no chocolate bought! I did actually buy a stamp and some milk but they are necessary household spends which I will get back.

I also went to the gym for the first time in 5 months last night so another bit of progress there. My body was deeply unsure of what I was up to and I wasn't setting any world records but actually jiggling in public is a step forward.

I had a horrible shock when I looked at my account and found my Sky bill had gone up from £89 per month to £122.50 today. I know you're all going to come down like a ton of bricks for the fact I have Sky, but it's one thing my DH will not live without (he watches A LOT of football :mad:. We had a deal for everything which was about £80, which went up to £89 in April but the package had been in place for over three years and it got to the point where I thought it would stay the same. Anyway, I rang them at lunchtime and spoke to one chap who was useless, I kept explaining I wasn't willing to pay more than £80 as I wanted to recoup the £33 they had taken without my knowledge and he was saying I'd need to lose some of the package. I told him I wasn't going to pay more for less so asked to be put through to cancellations. The bloke in cancellations after a long haggle offered me £74 a month so I have accepted that and will save about £250 over the next 18 months. I have no idea why they persist with this farce and don't just charge everyone the same. I was on the phone for 38 minutes! Anyway, rant over.

Friday tomorrow, and my known spends for the coming week are £10 on a birthday present for another niece (my siblings are like rabbits) and £7 to go visit some relatives on the train and bore them with my wedding photos. They are giving me dinner, I love a free meal. :rotfl:

Fudgefund

Drawingaline wrote: »

£115 sounds fine. But it's all relative I think. I haven't had that sort of spare cash in forever! But I have sinking funds and funds for the future, so actually if I have spare cash I waste it on crap food mostly.

Keep on plodding, it can be disheartening, but keep going.

I waste so much money on crap food.