No idea where to start xx

Queenie2704

Good afternoon
I am hoping there is someone out there who has been in my position and therefore can help me.
I have been married for 17 years. Its been a rocky old journey to say the least and last Thursday my husband asked me to move out. In fairness to him, I am the one that said I was unhappy, and I have been for a long while. We have been to relate and talked things through and separation seems to be the way forward for us both to be happier.
We currently own a house between us and we had 9 years left our mortgage. My husband works full time, I recently returned to work in a part time job. I can't see how anyone would give me a mortgage as I earn £8K a year. My husband has said he will pay me half of the equity of the house (his latest offer was £40,000).
I really have no idea of where to turn. Originally he said he would move out but now he doesn't want to and he said its best that I go. We have 5 children, 2 are teenagers and they have asked to stay with their father, 3 are under the age of 8 and they will stay with me.
I can't get hold of citizens advice, I keep phoning but I can't get through. I have applied for universal credit but that is applicable to my situation now and of course I have no idea where I will be living and I have no idea of how I am going to pay for it.
I realise this is of my own doing and I know that ultimately I will be happier in the long run, but I don't know where to turn to for support. I have never claimed benefits other than child benefit so I don't know who to approach for help. I rang the council to ask to go on the housing register and she told me to get legal advice. I rang a solicitor today who tried to talk me into having an appointment for £120. In the end I managed to get an appointment for free for 15 minutes. I have no money, no savings, my husband is already applying for a sole mortgage. I can't afford to pay the rent in a house and live until I get the equity but that could be ages.
I'm sorry for the long post, I really am in bits and I just don't know where else to go for advice. Thank you for listening if nothing else. Jemma x

mundibananas

Sorry for your situation. I've not been though that myself, but from what I can gather you need to stay put in the marital home. Your husband will have a duty to provide a roof for your children under 18 and given that they want to live with you, that means you get to stay in the house too.

I know this can seem unfair to the husband as it's you that has driven the split, but given that you have been raising your children and been unable to establish adequate earning potential/savings because of this, it does fall to the major earner to be the provider.

I'm sure somebody will come along soon and give you some more relevant advice - but for now, you need to be staying put in your house of which you have an equal right to be in.

onwards&upwards

You’ve been married a long time and have 5 children so your husband doesn’t get to jus5 call the shots now. Everything either of you owns belongs to both of you.

You really really need a solicitor.

I believe the wikivorce site is useful too.

DrivingMissDaisy

Has it always been a rocky road or did that start after the 5th child

bouicca21

It’s not just the house, it’s all the other assets, occupational pensions, savings, insurance policies, etc. Plus you have minor children whose housing will be a priority for the court.

Make a list of the assets. Go to the wikivorce website and start exploring your options with the other members.

DUTR

mundibananas wrote: »

Sorry for your situation. I've not been though that myself, but from what I can gather you need to stay put in the marital home. Your husband will have a duty to provide a roof for your children under 18 and given that they want to live with you, that means you get to stay in the house too.

I know this can seem unfair to the husband as it's you that has driven the split, but given that you have been raising your children and been unable to establish adequate earning potential/savings because of this, it does fall to the major earner to be the provider.

I'm sure somebody will come along soon and give you some more relevant advice - but for now, you need to be staying put in your house of which you have an equal right to be in.

I wonder what law that is? I don't think that is quite right.

BrassicWoman

Tell him you are happy to move out but all of the kids will have to stay with him because you can't afford to house them

See if that changes the conversation.

onwards&upwards

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Tell him you are happy to move out but all of the kids will have to stay with him because you can't afford to house them

See if that changes the conversation.

Good idea, wonder if he wants the more dependent little ones full time too.

onomatopoeia99

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Good idea, wonder if he wants the more dependent little ones full time too.

From the opening post it reads like the teenagers have chosen to stay with their father and at that age they are competent to make their own decisions, so it's not simply down to him only wanting the less dependent ones (though cunning how you painted it that way).

One is forced to wonder why the teenagers, who are best able to make judgments about their parents out of all the children in this scenario, have rejected the mother in favour of the father.

onwards&upwards

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

From the opening post it reads like the teenagers have chosen to stay with their father and at that age they are competent to make their own decisions, so it's not simply down to him only wanting the less dependent ones (though cunning how you painted it that way).

One is forced to wonder why the teenagers, who are best able to make judgments about their parents out of all the children in this scenario, have rejected the mother in favour of the father.

Lol, like your use of the word reject after you accuse me of being ‘cunning’ in my wording!

The older kids will probably want to stay in the house, near their friends school etc. Not have to move somewhere smaller and cheaper. I don’t blame them if they’ve been told dad is staying and mum is going.

Or they could think dad is the easier parent to deal with and will let them get away with more, teenagers can be pretty selfish!

jaks111

I would suggest you find out what you are entitled to, I was lead to believe you can stay in a house until the youngest leaves full time education.
Unless the law has changed.