what do you think about using joint account funds

System

Yes I left home at a young age I was disowned I met my husband who was 15 years older I never knew how to manage money and never learnt, I've worked hard in past year paying off things and have made some progress. I will attempt to sit down and just be honest re everything

System

My issue was if my husband finds out about the debts he may ask for a divorce anyway, and if house is sold I work from home and need to relocate my business which means I won't have an income. I might speak to my bank and see if they can help.

downshifted

I don’t usually comment on here but it seems to me that no one can help you until you understand what it is you want. Do you want to stay with your husband or make a new life alone? Do you want to continue with your business or get a new job? Once you decide what you want you can put plans in place to reach your goal. It looks like there are different ways of sorting out your debt depending on how you want your life to be. Talking to a close friend or a counsellor might help you sort out your feelings.

System

thanks so much for ur message I think where you think of all your problems you panic and can be erratic with your thoughts, I am going to address the debts first and make plans on every area of my life to live a stress free life. if I need to make changes then step by step

EssexHebridean

buttterfly wrote: »

yes very true regarding Solictors, I know it will be costly. and has also said I could have an allowance per month for a few years too

Allowing for what you have said about your own high earnings I wouldn't bet on that being agreed either if I were you!

Pollycat

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Allowing for what you have said about your own high earnings I wouldn't bet on that being agreed either if I were you!

If the OP is referring to spousal maintenance, neither would I (bet on it).

Karonher

It seems as if you are going to discuss the debt and ask about the money so this may not be relevant, but how would the children react if they saw you take that much money from a joint account without saying anything?

Another point will be about your husbands salary. If he is 15 years older and you have been married for 30 years, he must be close to retirement age. Surely any ongoing payment you get will be based on a pension not a wage and bonus.

System

Update I've told him and he's going to help and also we are going to work on marriage so all good thankfully so glad I just had the courage to tell him, he doesn't even want the money back! I think I was panicking too much

enthusiasticsaver

That is a great update. Good luck in working on your relationship and sorting out your debt.

Have you addressed your spending problems? How did you get to £60k debt in the first place?

System

Aww thanks! Yes I have a list of where it went wrong detailing everything and hiding it for years just made the debt grow so relieved now to get it cleared.