Leaving daughter out of will, advice needed please.

maisie_cat

I agree with others that addressing your relationship with your daughter is more important than punishing her. Disinheriting her will potentially cause problems with both her daughter and her sibling. You could be the bigger person rather than be remembered for this one act.

System

I advise that you make every beneficiary aware of what is in your Will as the upset that is caused after you pass can be awful. We are going through this issue now and I just wish my Nanna had told us all about her wishes it would have saved a lot of aggravation.

Keep_pedalling

annabanana82 wrote: »

We have a family friend who informs us that they have written their son out of their will and they paid a lot of money to add a clause that disabled their Son from contesting the will, how true this is I don't know but the fact that so many now and her Son doesn't it's not nice

Not possible to do such a thing, so either they paid a lot of money for nothing or they have gone down the route of putting their assets in trust so they have nothing to leave.

System

If the relationship has gone beyond repair i would still leave a specific if nominal amount to your daughter, doing so will make a challenge to the will less likely as it shows you made a conscious decision to basically cut her out. Seems sad but the OP may have reason to believe her grand- daughter is the better person to benefit? That said I'd leave it half and half myself, be 'good cop' to the last lol.

bouncydog1

Rather than cutting your daughter out completely, why don't you just reduce her share and give the balance to your grand-daughter. You could leave a letter and rather than cause ill-feeling and nastiness between the two you could suggest that you had done this to give your grand-daughter a start in life. If you leave your daughter something albeit not what she expects then that would surely make if difficult for her to contest (not a solicitor though so you really should be getting your solicitor to do this). You could then see if you could repair your relationship with your daughter/develop a great relationship with your grand-daughter which would make your actions more understandable. A lot can change between now and then so suggest you try not to be overly hasty.

lisyloo

I would agree with not being hasty.
We don’t know the background but sometimes it is right to walk away from abusive relationships.
Just because someone is a blood relative doesn’t mean they can’t be abusive or you have to like them.

I don’t think she would have any case to challenge.
There was a recent case where a daughter challenged and won but the daughter was poor and the mother gave the money to charities she’d had no involvement with. Neither of those are the case here.
It’s a time when paying a solicitor is worth it.

So if you’re healthy and not very elderly I.e. it’s not urgent, then sit with it for a while and then consult a solicitor.

I am going to cut my mother and sister out of my will due to abusive relationships.
I haven’t got round to it but after several years I’m comfortable with my decision to end those abusive relationships and also cut myself out of their wills (yes I understand what the consequences are).

Christabel

Thanks for all your replies, especially the factual ones rather than the ones that poured scorn on what I'm doing without knowing the full facts. The granddaughter is the child of my son and she lives many miles from my daughter and rarely sees her so it wouldn't be a problem for her. My son has split from her mother so she is being brought up in a single parent family, while my daughter is a well-paid hospital consultant so there you are, considering how my daughter treats me its a no-brainer. Not that I should have to explain myself.

Keep_pedalling

Christabel wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies, especially the factual ones rather than the ones that poured scorn on what I'm doing without knowing the full facts. The granddaughter is the child of my son and she lives many miles from my daughter and rarely sees her so it wouldn't be a problem for her. My son has split from her mother so she is being brought up in a single parent family, while my daughter is a well-paid hospital consultant so there you are, considering how my daughter treats me its a no-brainer. Not that I should have to explain myself.

You must do what you think is right. Although your daughter will be free to challenge any will you do, the chances of her being successful are as near to zero as you can get.

Set up an appointment with a solicitor to draft your will ASAP.

Sea_Shell

Who are you nominating to be your executor?

Because, reasons aside, they are the ones that are going to get caught in the middle of all this, not you. Are they willing to get involved? Have you given them a heads-up as to what you're doing?

Don't just leave them to deal with everything, without at least forewarning them first.

Are we talking a sizable estate here....one where the Daughter thinks it's worth a fight, or one that she might think, its not worth the aggro and walk away?

[Deleted User]

I've taken steps to ensure my partner's abusive daughter doesn't benefit from my hard-earned estate (she's abusive to my partner, not to me). However, I've used a trust to do this, so I doubt it's applicable for you.

Having just been been executor to a relative who left gifts to grandchildren, I would recommend the will is clear about any future children your son may have either via a 2nd marriage or relationship - ie do they benefit or just your son's first child?