Relationship/financial inequality/house ownership

Stoke

I had a very similar situation with a previous partner. She was bringing mostly debt into our relationship, some of which I had already helped by clearing for her..... yet when it came to the mortgage and deposit was absolutely heartbroken that I wanted a declaration of trust to essentially detail how much was being brought in. The numbers were just too great to play around with.

A declaration of trust just basically outlines the division of equity. Had one not existed, she would have absolutely rinsed me when our relationship broke down..... pulled my pants right down..... because she tried that anyway. It was vital that I had this piece of documentation in place and I suggest you do the same until you are married at which point i believe it becomes nullified.

Stick with your guns and do not give in. You are assuming that things don't change and they sometimes do. No matter how safe you think your relationship is. I hate to sound like that person..... but protect yourself. I did and I'm better off for it.

DrivingMissDaisy

Money before relationship. Odds of a marriage ending in divorce is roughly 50%. Protect your money and assets.

Watty1

Please protect yourself. I didn't take this advice and am now up the proverbial creek. I never believed my relationship would end in turmoil but I've been a right chump. Maybe this has made me cynical but protect what you have and don't get swallowed into the love me/love you it will be ok stuff. Get a declaration of trust sorted ... that will hold until you get married. Its easy and you can even download one off the web and fill it in yourselves over an evening. You then get a solicitor to ratify it which is cheap and quick.

getmore4less

Sometimes it can help to break the issue down.


what we have here is £110k deposit a mix of the OP own money and family gifts then a £86k mortgage.

OH is effectively starting from zero.

Say there was no house just £110k of cash and looking to buy would the OH still expect effectively a £55k gift to them?

if the 110k was split into OP and family gift would OH be happy if the family gift was ring fenced and only got 1/2 the OP money.


The equity split is often best but a compromise might be the get your money(£110k) back approach and share the rest, rather than a £55k gift it becomes a £55k interest free loan....

The thing not covered is the income are these also not equal if the OH earns more they could take on a bigger share of the debt to help balance out the inputs.


Some have a very clear vision of the single pot that is used for the benefit of all, but even then we see issues where the spend profiles are not compatible to sharing.

Some are happy with the separate finances, have joint pot for the mutually beneficial stuff keeping their own pots for the discretionary spending.