Retirement Tips for a Socially Functioning Introvert...?

Linton

Volunteering may be very helpful. For example, there is almost certainly a locally based organistaion that runs a social car scheme where you drive people who cannot easily use public transport to doctors, hospitals, social functions, shopping etc. This gives you the chance to provide a very important service to some very interesting and grateful people in a situation where you are in control of the social interaction..

k6chris

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

If you haven't read it already, you might find this book by Susan Cain interesting: "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking".

Thanks - just downloaded it via Audible, as I had a credit going spare!

GunJack

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

realise that the modern world is obsessed with often meaningless social interaction.

That is one of the best descriptions of the current state of play I've ever read, thanks

Bravepants

Yes, there's a lot to be said for spending time in solitude! My partner and I mostly socialise with family and a few close friends. We don't tend to go out very often to the pub on our own, either together or with one another, just for the sake of it.



We play badminton as part of a club on Monday nights, where we met some lovely people and have socialised with one or two, and we always look forward to the bandminton club Christmas meal! Likewise we are getting into sailing and have met some nice people there.

These days I'm very wary of who I trust, having been burnt by "friendships" in the past. I'm quite happy to be sat in my house of an evening playing piano or guitar, or just watching the latest show on TV with the missus.


OldMusicGuy: I too love making presentations at conferences, but I hate the networking side of it! And would rather slink off on my own than talk about work until midnight with someone I'm not actually very interested in! You can tell those people who have no interest outside their work, which is both laudable on the one hand, but a bit sad on the other. Those people will NEVER retire.

Spreadsheetman

Interesting thread. This is one of my main concerns for my retirement (coming up soon).

Whiterose23

I can relate to this, although not yet retired and working full time.


I prefer to be alone and enjoy the small interactions that come with passing the time of day when walking the dog, or the occasional family visit or once a month drink out with a friend. The social pressure from other people gets me down and makes me feel as though there's something wrong with me because I don't come to work each Monday morning with an exciting story of where I've been at the weekend/how much I've drunk etc.


I'm a single parent and my children are virtually independent, and as I get older I enjoy my life more and more, indulging in hobbies/music/tv/dog walking.


I would just enjoy what you're doing and stuff what other people think :-)

Albermarle

I would just enjoy what you're doing and stuff what other people think :-)

I do not think the OP was too bothered about what other people thought, but was more concerned his introvert tendencies might take him to a place where he would rather not be .
Although an introvert myself , I would also not want to drift into a semi recluse state after retirement , as I am sure for most people it would not be a great place to be.
Most people have both introvert and extrovert parts of their personality , and going to the extreme of either is not healthy.

crv1963

k6chris wrote: »

I have realised for many years that I am an introvert at heart, but have always had jobs that require interaction with people. Now I am retired, I have noted that my introvert tendancies are coming to the fore, which I am a little worried will see me as a full-blown recluse before the year is out. Has anyone else 'suffered' this and if so, what is the 'cure'?


Thanks

I totally relate to this! I am not terribly introverted, but enjoy quiet time, my line of work means endless, sometimes meaningless interactions.

We regard our home as our own little sanctuary, have family visit now and then, just two weeks ago we had a friend visit- the first for four years.

There is a world of difference between being introverted and capable of engaging with the wider world but choosing not to and being socially isolated by fear. Often people mix the two up.

I think if you are lonely or feeling isolated and can still go out/ invite others who you choose in then the problem is other peoples not yours!

We can't wait to be able to stop the endless, meaningless cycle of work small talk and only engage with those that we choose!

melanzana

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

No "cure" is needed. You need to understand yourself and realise that the modern world is obsessed with often meaningless social interaction. If you haven't read it already, you might find this book by Susan Cain interesting: "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking".

I can honestly say that was a revelation to me as was her Ted Talk on the same subject. I am sure you will find it on YouTube.

I love pottering about with no meaning to it like doing useless stuff in the garden, reading every book I can get my hands on, going for a walk etc., doesn't matter it's what I like to do. I meet selected friends a few times a month but just one at a time mostly. Big gatherings don't excite me at all!

Have a loving family, and am so greatful for that. But they give me a wide berth as they know me so well. Works for everyone!

Look, everyone is different, but unfortunately the moniker of Introvert has negative connotations when it shouldn't.

The Extrovert is the go to personality, but I am not in agreement with that!

LHW99

There is a world of difference between being introverted and capable of engaging with the wider world but choosing not to and being socially isolated by fear. Often people mix the two up.

Agreed, and I also think that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.