Struggling and feeling down about it...

Valetudo

It's that car and that phone, regardless of the previous loan, taking up almost half of your income. The car alone takes up nearly a third of your income. You've bought a brand new car (or nearly new) so there is huge scope to downgrade to something cheaper. Especially if there's car tax to be paid. As a single person you could get something quite new and very cheap to run, and reliable, like a VW Up, for less than half the cost. When work pays your mileage, if you are doing a lot, you could be left with most of the cost being paid for your car in totality by work.

My income is higher than you and there is no way I could ever consider a phone at £140 a month.

The good thing is that your problems could be a good way to solved by binning two expensive consumer items and downgrading to cheap ones.

Valetudo

Just looked now and seen that you can get a vw up, a couple of years old with 20k ish on the clock for £120 a month. A 68 plate with 4000 miles on the clock is £140 a month. That's from a VW main dealer so obviously could get it cheaper still. I was given an up as a courtesy car when my Audi was in for a service and it was really fantastic. And so so cheap to run. I've had it 3 times and I'd buy one if I didn't have too many people to fit into it.

CapricornLass

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. I've had depression, and my other half suffers from it too, and I know how dreadful it can be.


I know that you don't feel that you have good qualifications, but have you thought about volunteering, even for just a couple of hours a week, in something you are really interested in? It would get you out of the house and meeting other people, (not just potential girlfriends, although you never know!) and make you feel better in yourself. There is a web-site, called https://www.do-it.org which gives details of the voluteering opportunities in your area, and I think you will be surprised at the number and variety of things available.



The other thing about volunteering is that after you have been doing it for a while, you will have got new skills and experiences that you would be able to offer future employers. I've sat on interviewing panels and I've seen experience and enthusiasm win over qualifications when chosing the person to offer the job.

savingholmes

DD - hugs about the depression and the loss of your relationship. As others have said - this is the time for some self-care, getting some therapy through your doctor, finding low cost things to do where you meet people and can make a difference.

Personally I would look at selling the car early and trying to get a loan for the difference instead Then buy a much cheaper card - even if you have some negative equity it is likely to be cheaper. Can you sell the phone earlier?

Don't give up there is always hope. The first thing is to stabilise your mood and then it will be easier to see what little steps you can take that will make a difference.