Struggling and feeling down about it...

plu

You stated "I travel for work (Scotland and Northern England) so my fuel costs are covered via work" and Essexhebridean mentioned "You do have business use on your insurance, yes? Also check that you're reimbursed mileage at the correct rate - the reimbursement is meant to cover depreciation as well as the actual physical fuel cost for the trips."
I noted that as well. Your employer should reimburse you for more than just petrol if you use your car for business. You might be able to claim tax relief as welt(?) From gov.uk
Type of Vehicle First 10,000 Miles Above 10,000 Miles
Cars and Vans 45p 25p
I would have thought your employer might pay the above rates? (I am not an expert )
(and best wishes, of course)

D_M_E

You say you have no qualifications to get a better job - have you considered doing evening courses at the local college, or doing a University access course or have you looked at the Open University?

Yes, they charge but you could be elligible for reduced fees if on a low income, and you never know what contacts you may make.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Sorry to read you're feeling so down about your debts, they may seem high, but they're not insurmountable. My initial thoughts are:

- I would personally chat to your parents and see if they'll let you off rent for a while, you could pay that £250 into the credit cards as those APRs are horrific.
-ring your mobile phone provider as sometimes you can change deals sooner than the term. When you own it at the end of the contract, you could sell your handset and get a cheaper one and on a SIM only deal. I'd imagine for that high monthly payment, it's a very high end phone? Buy a cheap handset out of the proceeds of selling it and pay the rest off the debt.
- contact your car HP company, sometimes there's a point in the contract that you can hand the car back with no repercussions, halfway through the term I think. Then just buy a cheap run around or maybe lease a little car while you save for a better one? You can lease a little car for £120pmGood luck :-)

Seaggie

I can’t really add anything to the great advice in previous posts other than urge you to get more help with your depression- it’s a big thing to face without support. and impacts all other decisions. Remember things can and will get better, you’re already on your way by sharing your concerns with others. Behind you all the way buddy, keep moving forward.

System

£400 a month on car, when your take home is only £1300. Madness. And that phone contract!
But I guess having the latest iPhone and fancy car is what looks good on Instagram?
I swear we are heading for another financial crash. The amount of high end cars you see driving around low end areas beggars belief. No equity what so ever.

stinabean

Great advice here and can't really add any of my own, other than definitely talk to your parents so they know you're desperate to get out of debt. Even if they don't let you off rent completely they may be willing to lower it provided the surplus goes on the credit cards?

Re the car - I'm in the same position of paying far too much for a car however it's not as high as 400 a month. I would look into exchanging this for a cheaper one at least for the interim.

Great that the phone contract ends soon, that extra cash is going to be fab on your debts. I had a sim only "contract" with virgin media and it was £9 a month! I find they're the cheapest, just depends on their signal in your area.

And of course - sort your mental health. I know it's easier said than done, I'm a massive struggler and hate admitting there's an issue. Have you tried counselling? medication? confiding in a friend? I know they're all partnered and have children, but that doesn't mean you can't arrange one evening, even if just for an hour or two.
Put yourself first.

Toni'sfriend

I would reiterate that you speak to your parents and explain the situation and how you are feeling.

My son went through a very similar situation He gave up his rented flat and came back to stay with us. He offered to pay rent but we said no until he sorted himself out a bit. Once he got straight and was feeling better he contributed to the things that were causing a bit extra. Electricity, food, etc. I'm sure your parents would do the same.

He is now buying his own flat, has a nice car and a good job. I am sure you can do this as well (he also had MH issues). A bit of support (which you will get on here) and a bit of breathing space for the time being are what you need right now..

And yes put yourself first.

enthusiasticsaver

Definitely the phone is the first thing you can tackle. Contact them a month before in August and go sim only. £140 a month is clearly a ridiculous amount. You can get a sim only contract for £10. Was that an expensive phone or are you spending outside your contract on data or phone calls? Your next priority is to learn to budget and start saving for emergencies. After that start tackling those high interest debts. If you can move any to 0% that would help a lot.


I would imagine your mental health is suffering due to your situation more than anything. Not only the debt but the fact your friends are "coupled up" and you are struggling with living with your parents in your 30s. Can you think of things to do that don't involve spending lots of money which will help your mental health primarily as I would say that is more crucial than your financial situation? If you are feeling really low then contact your doctor. Do you exercise or go out for walks as that can help with lifting your mood and that is free. Good luck and well done for facing this as it is not easy.


Obviously taking on the loan for an(ex partner?) was a mistake, as was over committing on the car and phone but you can learn from this and improve your situation. The credit card debt is just bad budgeting which is not unusual but it is fixable. Have you spoken to your parents to see if they can help you? Reducing your rent would be the obvious one and maybe lose some of the screen entertainment and look for cheaper things to get you out of the house and mixing with people or doing a hobby you enjoy.

Sugarplum634

I'm going to sound like a right cow, it's just a reality check though and it's the exact opposite of what a lot of people have said. Just food for thought.



You pay your parents £250 a month.. including all your household bills, and you have access to Sky TV and the internet.



What on god's earth would you do if your parents said no. Are they sacraficing their retirement fund to subsidise you? You'd never get that kind of "all inclusive" deal anywhere else. Don't insult their generoousity by asking for a further reduction. And remember, that might all end tomorrow.

Go to GP about your physical and mental health, sell the car and get a cheaper one, and for heaven's sake get a cheaper phone.

getmore4less

Struggling and feeling down about it

the root cause of this problem is you don't have control of your finances,
You need the details of the debts on the SOA amount and rates.

You need your assets on the SOA.
That £140pm phone contract there should be a decent phone that came with that, stick that down as an asset.

consider selling it and getting a perfectly adequate phone on PAYG
(if you need a phone for work, have them pay)

Car what is happening with that if a walk away deal what happens next, if you can get to keep it any payment needed.


what are the details of the car/work situation.

miles, amount claimed etc.

On the face of it you seem to be subsidising the transport your work should provide to do your job.

With proper mileage rate and enough miles work expenses should be covering most of the car running costs and a bit for depreciation.

fix the phone and the car and things will look a lot better.