Separated now what?

star575

conradmum wrote: »

Depending on your area, I would say 35K salary is enough to pay rent, enjoy life, and pay some child maintenance. You're considering his position and well being, which is nice, but don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

Thats the thing tho, i have done for so many years,hence my illness.

conradmum wrote: »

How do your overall incomes compare?

I only earn £13K part time and term time.

conradmum wrote: »

Are you enjoying life too? Or are you looking after your children 24/7, thus freeing up your husband to pursue a career?

Im trying to, but enjoying life for me is addressing my health issues and putting me before him.

conradmum wrote: »

In your respective states, where will you both be 20 years from now? Will you still be at home caring for your now-adult children, while hubby has moved on with his life, perhaps remarried, bought a house and had more kids?

Yes probably, if my children still need me. I'm not saying my happiness doesn't matter but I'm tackling one thing at once.

conradmum wrote: »

You don't give your children's ages but if they're still quite young and you can manage the mortgage repayments, something to consider would be asking your husband to sign over his right to claim equity in your house in return for not paying child maintenance.

Yes, I will consider my options carefully.

conradmum wrote: »

He might be willing to accept that deal because he isn't physically giving you money, which he seems reluctant to do, already putting his enjoyment of his life before his responsibility towards his kids.

They are 15 and 11. We were together for 25 years
I appreciate your candid advice. Thank you