We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum. This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are - or become - political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

ex demanding money

I've recently received a letter from my ex (nearly two years now), demanding I pay back a loan he took out 14 years ago to pay some of my debt. He told me at the time not to worry about it and he would sort it. He just asked that I continued paying money into his account to cover the mortgage and household bills.
I ended the nearly 20 year relationship because he has issues with lying.... it's a rather long story and would make for good reading/movie but long & short of it is, when I ended it he wasn't happy with my decision, we put the house on the market and he then started selling things off and pocketing the proceeds i.e. the family car (which I ran, I taxed, mot'd, insured and paid for repairs for years). The house eventually sold and we split the profits, he took everything out of there, furniture, TV's, electricals, the lot!
I used the money from the house to set my self up and start afresh.
He's messaged me once about the repaying the loan and then nothing until now. Does anyone know how I stand with regard to this issue? Thanks
«13

Comments

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 35,242 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    If the loan was in his name, and there's no agreement that you would repay him, there's little he can do.
  • Paul_DNAP
    Paul_DNAP Posts: 751 Forumite
    500 Posts Second Anniversary Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    If the loan is in his name alone, then he alone is responsible for paying it back. Tell him your relationship, both emotional and financial, ended and you considered it settled in full at the time of the split and you won't be contributing any more money to him.


    If the loan is/was in joint names, however, then you are obliged to pay it, but it is for the lender to chase you through the courts and not him.
    (Although I could be wrong, I often am.)
  • Have you seen any paperwork relating to this loan? Ask him for a copy of the loan agreement and see what turns up. If he persists, get support from family and friends, because this situation could become emotionally draining. Your ex sounds like a piece of work and may be trying it on because he's run out of money.
  • D_M_E
    D_M_E Posts: 3,008 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    If it was in his name alone then it was his resposibility to pay, nothing to do with you.

    Juswt ignore him and consider that he took everything moveable and sold it to raise cash, as well as what he took of the house sale proceeds.

    Did you get a divorce and if so was there any orders granted with respect to finances, such as pensions etc?

    Also, was there a joint bank account - if so, has it been closed or had your name disassociated from it?
  • 14 years ago !

    what a joker.
  • onwards&upwards
    onwards&upwards Posts: 3,423 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Block his number
  • Thanks for the responses guys, you’ve all said the same as everyone else.

    We were never married, thank god! Never had joint accounts and my name was never on any paperwork.

    I guess I’ll wait out the notice he gave me and see what occurs next. Thanks again ��
  • adindas
    adindas Posts: 6,856 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 17 June 2019 at 6:25PM
    99probs wrote: »
    Thanks for the responses guys, you’ve all said the same as everyone else.

    We were never married, thank god! Never had joint accounts and my name was never on any paperwork.

    I guess I’ll wait out the notice he gave me and see what occurs next. Thanks again ��

    You have got a very good advice. Apparently it is his debt and nothing to do with you anymore.

    I think the best thing to do here is that not to give him a fuel. Ignore him stop communicating with him.

    Block his phone number.

    Hopefully he does not know your address so no chance to turn up in front of your door.
  • snilloct1957
    snilloct1957 Posts: 211 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary
    Keep us apprised of the situation and if anything develops, do not hesitate to seek more advice/help/support.
  • DUTR
    DUTR Posts: 12,958 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    14 years ago !

    what a joker.[/QUOTE
    Who the alleged ex or the OP?
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 347.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 251.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 451.8K Spending & Discounts
  • 239.5K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 615.3K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 175.1K Life & Family
  • 252.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.