Have I done the right thing?

Fusspot

Just hoping someone can give me some advice to ease my anxiety. I have accepted a flat, rented by the Council. I have the keys and move within two days, I am currently having it decorated.

The reason for my move is that I did live in the area before and loved it, never even thought of moving until my Mum died. She got a flat near me and then developed dementia and went into the nursing home nearby. In my grief I felt I couldn't cope with seeing her flat and the home every day so I moved to a flat to be near my then partner, I couldn't settle there and things didn't work out, I was there for two years and then moved again to where I am now.

It has been OK here, I've lived here for ten years, but I've always deeply regretted leaving my first flat and know that if I'd have stayed I would have found it a comfort eventually being near Mum's flat and nursing home. I've just plodded on here and put up with it. The positive thing about here is that the bus service is OK and there is a bus stop outside my flat. If I miss it, I walk down to the main road where there are several buses I can catch. I work full time, have a social life, don't drive so rely on buses. My immediate neighbours are fine but the Council are letting drug dealers and such people onto parts of the estate, which can happen anywhere now I guess.

So I saw this flat advertised in my old area and felt I had to put in for it as its the first one I've seen up for rent since I left there. I got offered the flat. I went to view it and fell in love with it, just the same layout as my old one, less maintenance than the one I live in now. But - the flat is further up the hill to where I lived before so I have the hill walk up from the bus every day. I try to see it as exercise but worry about when I am older (I am 57 now). Also the buses have changed since I lived there and aren't as good.

So basically now I am wondering if I have done the right thing. Everything about this flat is good, its nearer to my family aswell, the only downside is the hill and the buses. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Once you accept a Council property where I live that's it, they take you off the waiting list and you can't go back on it for another two years. They don't give you time to decide on a property once you've viewed it, you have till the next morning to give them a decision.

How can I ease this anxiety? I love the flat and its where I've always wanted to be so why am I feeling like this? I also keep going back onto the Council website and seeing other flats available on better bus routes. Sorry for the long post.

baldelectrician

Follow your gut instinct

LocoLoco

OP, I've moved house quite a lot over the years and I always have a period of thinking I've done the wrong thing afterwards - I think it might be a reaction to the stress of moving or something like that. Where I live at the moment is very hilly in places and I see people of 90 plus getting off the bus and charging off up the hill - they're fitter than me! My friend does a 10k run every Saturday morning with her friend who is 74 So yes, the hill might become a problem as you get older or it might be the thing that keeps you fit


I think you'll just feel better over time but maybe in the meantime make a list of all the good things about the place, the reasons you wanted to move and so on and stick it up where you can see it and each time you feel anxious go and look at it again. There will always be another place that is on a better bus route, bigger, quieter, cheaper and so on, and equally other places that are ghastly and you wouldn't want to visit, never mind live in Maybe starting an exercise programme would make you worry less about declining health as you get older; maybe a walking group or swimming club or something like that? But just something physical to get into to take your mind off it a bit. I think you'll be fine once you settle in, I think the higgledy piddledyness of moving can do all sorts of funny things to us. But my guess is once you've unpacked and made the place home you'll start to feel a bit better about it all x

Fusspot

LocoLoco wrote: »

OP, I've moved house quite a lot over the years and I always have a period of thinking I've done the wrong thing afterwards - I think it might be a reaction to the stress of moving or something like that. Where I live at the moment is very hilly in places and I see people of 90 plus getting off the bus and charging off up the hill - they're fitter than me! My friend does a 10k run every Saturday morning with her friend who is 74 So yes, the hill might become a problem as you get older or it might be the thing that keeps you fit


I think you'll just feel better over time but maybe in the meantime make a list of all the good things about the place, the reasons you wanted to move and so on and stick it up where you can see it and each time you feel anxious go and look at it again. There will always be another place that is on a better bus route, bigger, quieter, cheaper and so on, and equally other places that are ghastly and you wouldn't want to visit, never mind live in Maybe starting an exercise programme would make you worry less about declining health as you get older; maybe a walking group or swimming club or something like that? But just something physical to get into to take your mind off it a bit. I think you'll be fine once you settle in, I think the higgledy piddledyness of moving can do all sorts of funny things to us. But my guess is once you've unpacked and made the place home you'll start to feel a bit better about it all x

Thanks for this, its very helpful. I know I would have regretted it if I had not taken this flat. I could have bidded for others and not got them and would have been thinking 'if only'.

I have just been past the other flat that I've seen advertised since now as I am in the area and it does look nice, its near all the shops and bus stops but its a ground floor again which I don't want and has a patio. All this is very nice but where I live just now is on the ground floor and I do feel I would feel safer upstairs, plus the patio is maintenance I don't want anymore.

Whilst deciding on what to do I made a list of the pros and cons of moving and the pros won so that helped me decide, plus someone did say to me that if I regretted leaving there before I would regret not going back when given the chance.