Girlfriend won't sell her house

Chrislaw1984

Hello.

I was wondering if someone can give me some advise.

I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 10years now. We have three children.

She has a help to buy scheme mortgage with her ex boyfriend which she brought when she was 19. No one is currently living in the property. Madness i know - he pays the mortgage.

Im renting a home for my family ( I have always rented I'm 34) however since I've been at my current address I've spend over 45k in rent.

I really would like to buy my own home now. I don't earn mega bugs but I earn enough to buy something. (I'd buy a shed and live in it the way I'm feeling right now as long as its mine)

I really need to have my partners income contributed to the help to buy scheme so we could just about afford to buy a house big enough for us all. I know those schemes aren't all they are cracked up to be. But it's my best option atm.

But I can't even get her to talk to the bank or mortgage company let alone her ex about getting their house sorted in some capacity.

Everyday I go to work but recently it's getting more and more difficult as I feel what's the point. My girlfriend hasn't made any contributions to her mortgage so I understand she won't gain anything ( which is fine I don't want the money) but he will. The longer he has it the more profit he is making. And the longer I stay where we are the more of my money I wast paying for my landlords Chelsea season tickets and trips to Barbados. Every one is winning but me. It's causing fights everyday as I'm so depressed.
If she worried about commitment again then I understand but least she could do is tell me. Least just get rid of the house that way we can build our relationship based on what we have to together not what we share with her ex.

I even said about giving him some money to get him off the mortgage. But I don't know where to start. I kinda need options to go over with my girlfriend to at least make her more comfortable at trying to sort it out.

Can I just she just buy his half.
Can she just get herself removed.
Can I pay him cash to take himself of the mortgage.
Can she force him to sell.

I really don't know who to talk to either. And I'm a bit unwilling to pay for advice when it's not even my house and my girlfriend probably won't even follow it through.

Any help appreciated as I'm a desperate man .

If not thanks for taking time to read this sorry it went on for a bit. Lol:undecided

MovingForwards

Buy a cheaper place on your income only?

After 10 years I would have hoped she would know if you are 'a keeper'.

Can I just she just buy his half - if she has the available cash or can get the mortgage for it she can offer to buy him out

Can she just get herself removed. - No, mortgage company has to agree to it.

Can I pay him cash to take himself of the mortgage. - no, but your GF can ask if he will agree to a cash buyout, subject to the mortgage company agreement.

Can she force him to sell. - technically if he refuses any of the above options, costs several grand and needs a solicitor.

getmore4less

Why not move into the house she owns?

ytfcmad

Find yourself a new girlfriend,

Mojisola

If, after ten years and three children, she's not willing to deal with something that's upsetting you so much, I'd question her commitment to you.

AnotherJoe

Chrislaw1984 wrote: »

Can she just buy his half. Can she afford to? Why on earth is he paying for an empty house?
Can she just get herself removed. Not unless he agrees and the mortgage co agrees.
Can I pay him cash to take himself of the mortgage. Not unless he sells
Can she force him to sell. Yes, assuming he doesnt want to.Not cheap.

I really don't know who to talk to either. And I'm a bit unwilling to pay for advice when it's not even my house and my girlfriend probably won't even follow it through.
Sounds like more of a relationship issue than a housing one.
Have you asked her to marry you? Would that tip the balance?

Just a "girlfriend" after ten years and 3 kids? Seriously?
Any help appreciated as I'm a desperate man .

If not thanks for taking time to read this sorry it went on for a bit. Lol:undecided

There's some weird dynamics going on here.
Care to explain the answers to the obvious questions ?

Chrislaw1984

No she can't afford to buy it. She only works two days a week. I could both aford it though. I pay all the rent here which is 1150 per month. The mortgage is 670.
I dunno why he's left it empty ? Don't make sense to me. Hes staying rent free at his nans house as he's moved away.

"Can she just get herself removed. Not unless he agrees and the mortgage co agrees." You said this but wouldn't it work the other way round too?? He can just come off the mortgage if he agrees and the mortgage company?

Why would I think about marriage while she's got a house with her ex? We had kids quite early and it wasn't really an issue as I wasn't thinking about buying and I thought by now it would be sorted. ... Don't think this is about me not asking her to marry me. He hasn't attempted to sort house either... And I won't be asking him either lol

Thrugelmir

Rather than waste money on expensive holidays etc. Start saving for a deposit on a property. Your money, your choice.

Chrislaw1984

That's what I have been asking myself unfortunately... Just hard with the kids.

Chrislaw1984

I don't waste money on expensive holidays ... The rent I pay, pays for my landlord to go on expensive holidays. ..

DUTR

Chrislaw1984 wrote: »

I don't waste money on expensive holidays ... The rent I pay, pays for my landlord to go on expensive holidays. ..

The rent you pay may not equate to expensive holidays for the landlord, they probably get £50 a month in gain from the rent, the landlord isn't a charity.
You mentioned the ex is paying the mortgage, so it's up to him if he wants to leave it unoccupied.
You have to do the right thing for you not meet everyone else's demands as if they are granting you some kind of favour.