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What can my mum do with her money?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • 74jax74jax Forumite
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    My dad wanted to give me and my brother some. We just took it. Popped it in an account and when he died used it to support mam in the care. He got the reassurance we had his money and felt at ease.

    Your mam will need care later on and being able to chose the care is a huge plus point. Let her give you it. Say you don't want anything but will keep it for a rainy day. Then when she is assessed as giving money away (and as though she still has it) it makes no difference because you step in and use it.

    Of course this is if a you say as above you don't want anything. If you do, then go ahead, but be careful your mam might be assessed as still having it.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • onwards&upwardsonwards&upwards Forumite
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    74jax wrote: »
    My dad wanted to give me and my brother some. We just took it. Popped it in an account and when he died used it to support mam in the care. He got the reassurance we had his money and felt at ease.

    Your mam will need care later on and being able to chose the care is a huge plus point. Let her give you it. Say you don't want anything but will keep it for a rainy day. Then when she is assessed as giving money away (and as though she still has it) it makes no difference because you step in and use it.

    Of course this is if a you say as above you don't want anything. If you do, then go ahead, but be careful your mam might be assessed as still having it.


    Only potential problem with that is if something were to happen that meant the OP might need to claim benefits. Then the money sitting in an account in his name becomes more complicated because then he needs to worry about deprivation of assets for himself.

    I’d let her give me small gifts but nothing more than £50-100 every few months. Don’t let her have your bank details, tell her you don’t need it now and she doesn’t need to worry because if she doesn’t spend it it will come to you in the fullness of time anyway.
  • Gavin83Gavin83 Forumite
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    Only potential problem with that is if something were to happen that meant the OP might need to claim benefits. Then the money sitting in an account in his name becomes more complicated because then he needs to worry about deprivation of assets for himself.

    Or he dies, or gets divorced, or gets into debt...

    Ultimately OP the only other real issue is if she needs to go into a care home in the future. Given the circumstances you've described this isn't entirely unrealistic. If she's given away a large sum of money (£50 here and there would probably be accepted) then it's likely she'll be assessed as still having the money. This will likely leave her with a large bill she is unable to pay. As long as the bill is paid they won't really care but if it isn't and they can't recover it from her funds (as she's given it to you) they'll chase you for it instead. I know cases where peoples entire life plans have been torn apart due to social services taking them to court for a large sum of money so tread carefully. You're probably best off treating it as not being your money and just sticking it in a savings account somewhere.

    I'd also be careful about some of the advice on this thread too. Honestly, it makes no difference if it's drip fed or given in one large sum and the idea of it being a loan seems somewhat pointless as well. If put in the situation social services is likely to determine that having a large outstanding loan isn't in her best interests and will cash it in.

    I do like the idea of using it to pay off your mortgage though. You just need to consider that there will be the potential that you'll need to remortgage in the future.
  • Newly_retiredNewly_retired Forumite
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    As her house sale hadn’t gone through when she moved into the sheltered accommodation and negotiated rent, fees, benefits etc, I am guessing that her home was not taken into account. Once it is sold, she may need to be reassessed and she may well have too much capital to qualify for whatever financial help she is now getting. So I suggest this is the first thing to check out.
    She won’t be affected by IHT rules, so can give you money without the tax man getting worried when she dies, if she wishes, but if she is drawing means-tested benefits then deprivation of capital may come into it.
    If she needs to move into a full care home, that will mean a further assessment. At that point she may have to pay her own care costs, until the money is used up, leaving her with a certain sum, around £28000 I think without checking. The website you were given earlier will explain. At that point, if she has given you loads of money you might be called upon to pay or contribute to her care costs.
    So beware of spending it all! Encourage her to spend it on herself now. Maybe you could go on holiday together if she does not want to go alone?
  • ArchergirlArchergirl Forumite
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    Yes, I was going to say go on holiday together, that would be nice x
  • Thanks all!

    May suggest the holiday option again. I'd love her to go away somewhere nice and at least do something she's never really had the opportunity to do but she's been reluctant before, I suspect due to her mobility.

    I *thought* her assessment took into account her assets as well as any cash, the the house was part of the assessment, but I'll check with the housing association financial advisor now its sold.

    I don't think she fits the deprivation of capital rules yet, but one to be wary of - it could be something that might hit her in the future.

    I was wary of her giving money to me, and I think what's been said means I was right to check and right to be wary.
  • LilElvisLilElvis Forumite
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    If your Mum eventually needs higher levels of care then I think you (and she) could well be shocked at how much it can cost. My MIL is preparing herself for the time when she can't cope in her own home and has put her name down for a care home. We have had to sign as guarantors for four years worth of fees - £237,000 - and that's for the lowest level of care - the highest level is an eyewatering £7,400 per month. £150,000 won't go very far if she wants to end her days in a nice setting of her choice.
  • kangoorakangoora Forumite
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    LilElvis wrote: »
    If your Mum eventually needs higher levels of care then I think you (and she) could well be shocked at how much it can cost. My MIL is preparing herself for the time when she can't cope in her own home and has put her name down for a care home. We have had to sign as guarantors for four years worth of fees - £237,000 - and that's for the lowest level of care - the highest level is an eyewatering £7,400 per month. £150,000 won't go very far if she wants to end her days in a nice setting of her choice.

    The OP lives in Scotland which I presume will be similar costs to my area which is one of the cheaper areas in England for care home fees.

    You can get a nice care home in my area of the country for £600 to £700 a week, my dad was in a very nice one just down the road at £650/week. Average rates in Scotland appear to be £639 for residential care and £850 for nursing care. These are averages so obviously you could pay a lot more - or even less........

    Certainly the OP should look into care home costs but putting in figures like £60,000/year and higher rates of £7,400/month when you don't know where they live or standard costs in that area is not very helpful.
  • I was aware care home fees were significantly higher, and even worse in England, but I have to admit I had no idea fees of £7.5k a month were even a thing! how can that be possible?! What are you getting for that money that you couldn't get by privately paying 2-3 people a decent wage to look after your every need! That's crazy!

    Think I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that old age just isn't worth it, though I honestly don't believe there will be a retirement age by the time I get there. Might as well cash everything in, enjoy the money, and then when it runs out... Well.
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