Grieving Cat

pollyanna24

Had two cats from the same litter from 3 months old. Last week, we received the call from the vet that one had been found and brought in by a neighbour.

They were/are only 14 months, so of course, it was all a shock, but me and my kids are coping.

However, the other cat doesn't seem to be so well and I just want some tips on how to get her through it.

We brought the cat home to bury her and I thought the best thing was to let her smell her as I thought maybe it would help her understand. I didn't really have time to Google whether this was a good or bad idea.

She's spent the last week miaowing a lot, going in and out of the catflap constantly and is trying to get into various cupboards in the house. She's not eating very much and whilst I understand why she's doing it, is there anything I can do to help more? My eldest daughter is going overboard with the cuddles and talking to her, which she seems to like.

iammumtoone

Sorry for the situation.

It is awful I had a daughter cat that had to be PTS before the mother. I remember it, I can't remember how long it went on for but it was a while and eventually did stop.


I remember the first time I hoovered the sound coming for the Mother cat was heartbreaking, I assume the cats smell was in the hoover and when I turned it on that set the mother off After that for a while I tried to make sure the hoover was thoroughly cleaned and I'd hoover whilst the cat was outside.

jenny-wren

How awful for you and your poor kitty cat. The same happened to one of my Dad's cats (two sisters) and the remaining cat did settle after a while. He waited 6 months before getting another cat (a boy) to keep her company.

I would suggest trying a plug-in device, 'Feliway'. It slowly releases a scent that cats find calming. Feliway's website states that 'FELIWAY CLASSIC sends “happy messages” to cats'.

Plenty of hugs and attention should help too. Give her a big hug from me x

hb2

Poor you and poor puss! I second the suggestion of using the plug-in devices and your daughter is certainly doing the right thing in giving the grieving cat lots of love.

jaybee

So sorry for you and remaining cat.
Yes - I believe you did the right thing to let her sniff the cat. Apparently it is supposed to help them understand what happened.
It's so hard when we can't explain to them isn't it.

charlotte1994

Poor cat x these things just take time. I remember my music teacher's cat do similar things when his cat friend died. He would keep meowing and looking at the chair where he last saw him ): It was very upsetting. After a while they seem to move on, I would wait about 6 months then maybe see about getting another cat?

cheeky-peach

So sorry to read this


I had the same thing happen with my litter mates. The female was handed in after she was found and it wasn't at all easy so I understand what you're going through. I remember feeling awful going to work and leaving her litter mate home on his own as he wasn't used to it. It did get better with him and I do also recommend Feliway. It took me a good 18 months before I felt ready to get another cat and they get on great so that's a good thing.

Mee

Sorry for your loss. Recommend this video by Jackson Galaxy :
https://twitter.com/JacksonGalaxy/status/466293069172994048

pollyanna24

Thanks everyone. Think she is getting there as I have seen her playing in the garden. She still talks to us, but she just seems more "introverted" than she was when the other one was around.

The surviving one was always the more timid, wary one and the other one used to bring her out of herself. The one that died was a bit crazy and fearless which I think was her downfall. Not sure if she was hit by a car or ate something she shouldn't.

Just hoping she doesn't turn into a cat that doesn't really act as a pet, but just a cat that happens to live with us. The one that died was the kind of cat that would just jump on you for the sake of getting attention. This one would happily just stay away from people.

GreenQueen

We had two brothers, one of whom was really extrovert, and the other timid and nervous. When the extrovert was killed on the road - live fast, die young - initially his brother seemed lost, but he gradually came out of himself, and became very loving (if on his own terms!). I don't think he would have ever achieved that level of confidence if his brother had always been there.

TripleH

GreenQueen wrote: »

We had two brothers, one of whom was really extrovert, and the other timid and nervous. When the extrovert was killed on the road - live fast, die young - initially his brother seemed lost, but he gradually came out of himself, and became very loving (if on his own terms!). I don't think he would have ever achieved that level of confidence if his brother had always been there.

According to my wife, our older cat was the introvert until her sister was killed by a car. She took over some of her sister's personality. It may take a while for your cat to adjust but I am sure with time she will settle into a new pattern.

Even now 12 years after her sister died, she still recognises when we say her sister's name in full.