Sharing home expenses

redlondoner

we have lived together for 19 years. I own the house and deal with all the finances - with my partner's full agreement. I am retired and he works. We each put £500 into our joint account for Housekeeping and bills. money has never been an issue until i realized that I contribute 45% of my income to our joint account and he contributes 27% of his. Its not the amount of money that is irritating me its what I see as unfairness. We are not well off and I feel its wrong for one to have so much more disposable income than the other. He seems to think that he cant afford to pay the same percentage as me but I dont see why he shouldnt. I will stop there as this tale could run forever. I will just say that I have a large amount of savings from which i pay for repairs and furniture as needed

DUTR

Why is it wrong to have disposable income? Perhaps opportunity or luck favoured your partner more so.
Remember it is not his house according to your opening post.

trailingspouse

To be honest, you sound more like room-mates than soulmates. After 19 years together I would have thought your finances would be so intertwined that it no longer mattered what percentage who paid for what. What does he do with his 'disposable' income? What do you do with yours?

Seanymph

Imbalance ended one of my relationships, I was left with literally not enough to buy new socks, whilst he earned far more than me, had about half his salary left over and had hobbies....

Yet he felt we should pay 'the same amount' rather than 'the same percentage'.

It is something I have been very aware of at an earlier stage now. So I completely understand your dilemma.

I don't have a solution though, because for every couple it is different - I just made sure I negotiated something I was happy to live with a lot earlier afterwards.

Exodi

So by extension of your logic; if you expect he should put in more money than you as he has more, I trust you will be assigning half the house to him and/or your 'large amount of savings'? Or what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine?

maman

I find your logic hard to follow especially as you say at the beginning of your post that you have considerable assets.


The £500 he's contributing is to cover bills. Tesco (or other supermarket of choice) doesn't charge him more for a loaf of bread just because he has more disposable income. That wouldn't be fair.


If, for example, he was using his surplus money to build up a 'large amount of savings' or purchase a property as you have done perhaps you'd consider that a fair use of his money.


Maybe you should charge him extra on top of the household bills as 'rent' for living in your house?


When it comes down to it he earns more than you do and he's not prepared to subsidise you by paying a bigger share of the bills than you do. There could be many reasons for that. You're not giving him a share in the ownership of your house or savings. There could be many reasons for that too.


As it stands your philosophy sounds like the old maxim 'What's yours is mine and what's mine's my own'. Is that fair?

getmore4less

He works you are retired,

get a job and earn more to improve the ballance.

elsien

You are paying the repairs and maintenance because it's your house which presumably you don't want him to have a share of.
He may have more disposable income at present but you are sitting on an appreciating asset. Yes he lives there and is saving on rent, but you couid turf him out at any point and if he's not paid towards the house he's probably not got a beneficial interest in the place and would walk away with nothing.
You can't have it both ways.

Marvel1

You are not happy your paying more % wise, but it's your house not ours (his).

£500 Is an awful lot for bills alone.

ska_lover

I think we need much more info...as this is not straightforward at all...

You were already on a massively uneven footing - why the issue now about things not being 'fair' - they already were not fair? You have a house and savings of your own, and now you are suddenly concerned about piddling percentages on house keeping?

The bigger issue really is that you are bringing so much more to the table, the home you both live in, and the savings you have, and paying all the repairs etc.......

Do you own the house outright, and he pays no rent or living costs really, just utility bills? Why is he not contributing towards upkeep and repairs? I find that massively puzzling and not right at all!! He is living there! - Is it actually upkeep and repairs, or are you taking home improvements, like putting in a conservatory etc

I am a big believer in paying equal amounts of ££s not percentages - Unless there are children involved/ childcare, or other health type reasons where both cannot work equal amount of hours - I do think both should put in the same amount of cash..

However your situation is very different, you are sitting on a large amount of savings and a home, that you say he has no ownership of - but if you pop your clogs, ..Are you wanting to bequeath your home to him?

If he cannot put in more money, he is already living beyond his means as he is only paying utility bills, he is not paying any rent or mortgage by the sounds of it, so in that sense, he is having his cake and eat it really...but more info plse

Did you own the house when you met him?
Why is he not involved in owning the house

onwards&upwards

If you open this can of worms are you prepared to fully follow it through?

If you want financial equality maybe it’s time to get married and throw everything into one pot?