Dont know where to start

Cknight

Yes, I do a yearly tax rebate for my tools, and I also claim the married tax allowance and for washing my work gear,

Sncjw

Could your son go to child care on two days so that he uses the 15 hours then and so your wife and work on those days

fatbelly

Are you going to do a statement of affairs (link in post #2)?

Singlespeeder

I also sympathise with your situation. I'm currently £32k in debt but am doing something about it.
The things I've found the most useful ....
a) get a notebook. Write EVERYTHING down in it ... everything. Thoughts, fears, ideas, resolutions. Write down everything you spend money on. I mean everything you spend money on. Maybe make a simple Legend or key of symbols, a triangle for food, star for beer, square for car expenses, or use coloured highlighters. This little visual aid helps to identify what's costing what. I thought I was being really good with food money .... turns out I was spending £300 a month on a bad month ... this is for 1 person. I've got this down to £140 - £160 ... that's everything, food, beer, going out....
b) as others have stated get your SOA done... it's a real eye opener.
c) go through everything you spend regular money on, and run it through the comparison sites... don't believe anyone will be doing the right thing by you, they aren't. You will almost definitely be able to save a heap there.
d) Food... PLAN ! And stick to it. Buy a slow cooker & use it. Try sneaking some vegetarian meals into the repertoire. I was pretty much a carnivore, doing a LCHF diet ... this worked REALLY well for me, I went from 17.5 st to my current 14.5 st. It's not easy, but it works. At Christmas I thought I'd do "Veggie for January ".... I thought coming from a very meat heavy diet I'd struggle .... far from it. I haven't eaten any meat at all since Dec 29th, and I genuinely haven't missed it. Meat is very expensive compared to veggie. Lentils cost next to nothing and make an awesome chilli, curry or stew, all done in slow cooker. I basically allow myself £5 a day, £35 a week,£140 a month. This would scale up for a family but not exponentially. Buy in bulk, cook in bulk and freeze. I could easily do a slow cooker full of veggie red lentil curry, or Moroccan veggie stew (both are superb and flavoursome) for maybe £5, probably less. I would certainly get 8 - 10 portions out of this. That's a family of four for 2 evening meal and 2 lunches for someone. It's all about planning.
e) work out how much you spend on Annual stuff ... car insurance, tax, mot, christmas, birthdays etc.. ( mine is around £1500) ... the worst one is car insurance at £450 on the 4th January ... ouch ! I now physically put £150 a month into an envelope ... this should cover EVERYTHING I need, hopefully with a little bonus nudge too. Now in January, the £450 for the insurance won't go on a credit card, it's already budgeted for.

For me a) has been a tremendous eye opener and help, and in time e) will be a godsend.

Good luck and be strong.

Cknight

we have considered this and will do so if she can find a job for two days

JayRitchie

Hi

How long until child maintenance payments come to an end for your older children (when they are 18/ finish school)? That will free up some money. Are there jobs your wife could do more easily in a year or so when your youngest starts school?

Cknight

Eldest is 14 in june and the other is 12 in November

Theamazingshrinkingwoman

Start by doing the SOA. You need a clear picture. It will really help you see what you need to do next.