Dont know where to start

Cknight

Please move this if ive put it in the wrong place,

Im a married man of 37, I have a good job with a basic pay or £32,000 and with overtime last year i earnt £50,000 dont get me wrong I worked my !!! off. my wife doesn't work she is a stay at home mum for our 3 year old and 13 year old, I have 2 other sons with my ex wife who I don't get to see, this point will become relevant later,

Despite our income we are always worse than hand to mouth, every week I am trying to make cash on the site to tide us over, 2 days after payday i'm at the bottom of my £250 overdraft, for years ive used credit as a crutch, credit cards payday loans etc but now I cant even access these,every month i dip into unauthorise overdraft with fees.

as things stand I have a credit rating of around 360 with Experian, I currently have 2 attachment to my earning for CCJs and another 2 I am not paying due to lack of funds, so that's 4 CCJS in total, 1 is from 2013 and im paying via attachment to earnings the others are 2018 one is attached to my earnings the others are "in the wind"

I have 15 defaults on my credit record and I owe I would guess 8-10,000
the current credit I have is my car finance which I have never missed a payment on that is currently just below £8000 remaining, 3 mobile phones, mine, my wifes and my sons, virgin media broadband which I need for work, plus can you imagine living with a 13 year old with out internet access for his console.

our rent is £750 per month, council tax £150 i pay £400 per month to the CSA for my children who live with my ex wife, car is £250PM car insuarnce is £50PM virgin is £60PM Phones are around 150PM food shopping is approx £200-250PM depending on things like pull ups kids clothing and bulk items lke washing powder etc,

i spend appox £150 a month paying 2 tool companies for my tooling accounts, i was clear of bothexcept for new purchases and small things until August last year when i had my tools stolen and lost over £10,000 to find they were not insured, eventually my work paid me £2000 as a gensture which i immediately brought tools with, i am however still replacing bits as i need them for work.


i sit here falling to pieces i dont know what to do, i dont know how to get out of this spiral of depression and financial situation that i can only blame on myself, i cant blame lack of work lack of money its purely lack of self control thats got me here and i dont know what to do.

it doesnt help that feelin like this is having a knock on effect in my marriage, my wife says im distant and moody but im worried, every time she gives our son a couple of quid to go to youth club or for pocket money i worry how im going to replace it, i was going to the gym 6 days a week 2 years ago as a health thing from the drs i lost 5 stone, i had to stop as the free times i could go im now working since i stopped my weight has rocketed ive put on almost 8 stone and weigh in at 27st 11lb because when im depressed i eat.

the debt etters come every day, i try not to tear them up, i tell myself ill ring them or write to them but never have, ive started to collect the letters now as i have no idea who i owe what to beyind what appears on experian.

Please help me where do i start to sort this mess out.
i know things can be cut back like the mobiles etc but i work away alot so use alot of data which is expensive and if i end the contracts mid term i will be liable for penalties, infact i think some of the defaults are for just that.

sorry for the rambling

Where do i start

WhenIam64

There will be a debt option that fits your situation. The choices will be limited to your finances.

The first stage for anyone, including your creditors, is to do a Statement of Account/Budget based on your income, expenditure and debts. You can start the process by using this link (http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php)

Bear in mind, there are hundreds of thousands of people in the same situation as you and most have found a way to deal with it. But the first step is to narrow down on your options.

Suseka97

Good advice from WIA.

Also, have you considered talking to someone such as StepChange, Payplan, Christians Against Poverty, Citizens Advice? All are non-fee paying debt advisers who deal with thousands of people in similar situations. There will be a debt solution for you, of that I'm sure and whilst you will get plenty of help from folks on here, talking things out with an adviser will help you in so many more ways.

enthusiasticsaver

If your son is 3 he can get some free childcare so your wife should be earning something to help the family. Have you told her how much of a financial mess you are in? She needs to help out.

You start with an soa and a spending diary. Get your wife on board and the unhealthy eating and overweight will not be helping your mood. Don't buy the junk and make a doctors appointment to tackle your weight and depression. I know it seems overwhelming but as you feel more in control of your finances and weight I think this will help your depression and mood. Get the whole family out for cheap walks to get some exercise and no expensive cafes/take ours etc.

Mnd

I agree with enthusiastic saver, you shouldn't carry this alone, your wife should get some work

Cknight

Thank you for the replys,

Just some points - Yes we get 3 hours a day childcare, 9:30 to 12:30 - there are no local jobs for this time we have looked she wants to work however due to my work I am often out early and home late and work away without regular hours so finding her work until he is at full time school is hard to impossible, the loss of overtime for me would far outweigh anything she could earn,

- we do not have take aways or eat out excepting on special occasions,

- I have told her and she is supportive but like me doesn't know what to do and feels bad that she isn't earning,

we try to have our family time at weekends often searching out free activities such as mueseums, the park , etc.

I am currently seeing the Dr about my weight but it helps little to none as all they want to do is operate

tealady

Hi
Could your wife do surveys online?
Or mystery shopping?
Cleaning?

Cknight

do those online things actually pay as that is something she could do yes,
we have looked for cleaning jobs but most want before or after school hours
never heard of mystery shopper what is that?

were at the point anything helps

bristol2020

Hi there,

I really empathise with your situation, I know from personal experience how overwhelming it can be. But you can get out of the situation you are in, and there is lots of great advice on these forums.
7 years ago I was in a similar position to you, I was in 25k worth of debt thanks to bank loans, overdraft and payday loans. 2 days after payday I was getting further and further into debt until I was unable to borrow any further. Life was torrid and a constant merry go round of anxiety and stress.That's when I spoke to Stepchange who pretty much helped me turn my life around.
I did the SOA and with their help wrote to all my creditors asking for the interest to be frozen on all of my debts and then started a Debt Management Plan. I was paying £200 a month which was manageable and soon became the norm. True if the DMP had continued I would still be paying it off in 2 or 3 years time, but so what. I had control back over my finances and my life.
Some people will say pay the debts off as quickly as you can, be really frugal etc,but for me I wanted some small luxuries and occasional treats. And I actually started to save as well.
Im no expert, so cant say if a DMP is right for you, but others on this board will suggest alternatives and point you in the right direction.
But I would say phone Stepchange and take some unbiased advice on here - and most of all take comfort that your situation can be solved.
Very best of luck

Karonher

Surveys do pay - some people in another site I go on say they can make up to £200 a month on a good month. I doubt I get up to £100 I do mystery shopping it can pay well although the majority of work will bring in less than £15 a job. However, a couple of jobs a week even if they just pay £5 and some surveys would be something towards the debt.

There is a section on mystery shopping on this site and it gives details of the companies.

theoretica

Just to confirm if you are paying for your own tools for work have you got your tax situation sorted so this comes from pre-income tax money?