Had a blip and feel so guilty

Squirrel29

I feel awful, I haven't bought any new clothes for months, it was probably spring last time I got anything... my one and only pair of jeans were hanging off me in shreds and my boots have been resoled so many times but had reached the point where they looked so tatty.

So today I went into town and blew £90 on a pair of boots, 2 x jeans, new jumper and two new t-shirts plus new undies. (I went to Matalan and George though :j

However I am having a massive guilt trip. I have become so obsessed with paying debts off I feel terrible if I spend anything. I don't get paid until next week so put it on my CC, however I have earned an extra £400 after tax in overtime this month and the same for December but I wanted to spend it all on debts, I will be paying the card straight off next week.

I really hope I don't fall off the wagon. I didn't get a buzz from the shopping like I used to, in fact I felt sick at handing my card over. Hopefully I am cured!

Lemon_Tree

sounds like you're cured to me, and if your clothes were falling off you it will cost you more if you're arrested for indecent exposure than it did for your new clothes lol

Squirrel29

You are right Lemon Tree, considering I work in criminal justice field I would lose my job too. I looked like a Bros fan with my (unintentionally) slashed jeans :rotfl:

Smiley_Mum

You needed some clothes and boots, you didn't go on a wreckless spree on your plastic. You bought stuff you needed, don't beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is another day, just get back to sorting out your debts. Give yourself a pat on the back for working on your debts and getting yourself sorted out. :-)

Mupeteer

I can understand why you feel guilty Squirrel, but go easy on yourself. You're obviously doing really well and sometimes there are things you just have to buy. If you consider that you'll be wearing the new clothes for however long and you work out cost per wear you'll see that it really isn't that bad. Clothes are essentials (obviously not all clothes) so just try to think of how well you are doing and start afresh tomorrow.

Burlesque_Babe

Been there squirrel, you sound just like I used to when I was trying to clear my debts - but at the end of day it was a 'need' not a 'want' and you can't go around naked (well, you could but you'd be in trouble!!!)

I don't get the 'buzz' anymore and when I do spend, I feel guilty but then I compare to how I used to be and I definitely feel 'stabilised' if not completely 'cured'!!

Squirrel29

How much were your debts Keren and how long did it take you to pay them off? I always feel so inspired when I come across a debt free person!

Burlesque_Babe

£25,000. Took a year, almost to the day.

Bloody hard slog which just about took over my life (with the help of the fabe MSE/DFW people) and a couple of good luck situations over the year (£5,000 in back pay and about the same in returned bank charges). I used every aspect of MSE to change every aspect of my financial situation and it's rubbed off so much I can't buy anything without thinking 'is there a code I can use to get it cheaper?'

It has changed me completely although I do have tiny blips - such as - I'm desparate for a chinese takeaway. Don't ask why, cos I don't know......the old me would have just bought it and I really want a night off cooking but I've fought it so far. I even had the menu's out of the drawer today but I keep thinking - that's £20 you won't have tomorrow.......

I definitely don't get the same feeling when I buy anything now. I still have the occasion 'comfort shop' in the supermarket (my weakness) but I just about hang on to having the shopping delivered about twice a month (with a code for free delivery of course!!) and a small top up once a week. The days of going in to Tesco and splurging £80 on nothing are gone.....I hope!!!!

Squirrel29

That's a fab achievement, are you managing to build up savings now or have you joined the Mortgage free board?

My aim is to pay it all off by my 40th birthday in 3 years and then cut my work down to 4 days a week. I had my son at 21 and haven't had a penny to my name since then! Now I am a single mum and currently have a really demanding full time job and a part-time job too doing holistic therapies. This "big birthday" looming and my goal of going part time has really given me an incentive to the point of being ruthless in achieving it!

Burlesque_Babe

Yes, I have savings now. I've got £25,000 saved - the result of my redundancy from the job I left in May. I'm investing it here and there in different accounts (again with the help of MSE!) and although I'm tied in to my mortgage for another 3 years I'm hoping to chuck a chunk at the mortgage in 2010. I'm getting more on the interest keeping it in different savings accounts than if I paid it off my mortgage. The last time I had money 'spare' was when I moved nearly 4 years ago. I had 5k left from being bought out by my ex after I moved/put down a deposit on a new house as he had bought me out of my old house. I frittered it away very quickly.

I had originally planned to be debt free by the time I was 40 (I was 36 then, now 37) and I was on track to be DF by then - just. I was working 2 jobs but the change in my work circumstances meant I could be debt free after a year. It taught me a lot - I'd never budgeted in any way before and I was a real head in the sand person. I now know I could - if necessary - live very very frugally, although I don't have an extravagant lifestyle now. I haven't been out socially since the Blackpool trip in September and Asda Smartprice items fill my cupboards.

I've made one bad decision so far (i've bought some badly performing shares with £2000 of it) but I'm not panicking and I've learnt from making a rash decision and just trying to sit tight and wait for them to go back up again rather than selling them and making a loss (ie panicking).

My salary is low now. I work full time for AQA and pull in around £1100 a month before tax if I really put the hours in (It's self employed). It pays the bills and puts food on the table (just) I top it up with quidco money (£150 this month) and other little bits - I'm doing a mystery shop today - 1 phone call to a bank will get me £5, so I'm still keeping very focused so I don't slip back into bad habits.

And - I didn't give in and have the chinese takeaway last night

Squirrel29

Well done on not having the takeaway! I miss takeaways but now prefer to cook up a big chilli or curry on a weekend and freeze small portions. When I feel lazy and can't be bothered to cook.. I just defrost one.

I think you have done so well, it is funny how a big birthday such as 40 becomes a focus to change your life! I just know that I have spent my whole working life in debt, being scared of the post arriving and now I want harmony and a feeling of wellbeing as I hit middle age!:rotfl: