Lending Mum money rather than equity release?

sacherlover

If Mum is depressed and anxious it might be more helpful to see if you can organise some activities / company for her.

I work part time in Sheltered Housing and isolation and loneliness is a big issue, even within some Sheltered Housing developments.

Equally, having been involved with looking after my Partner's Mum at a distance (2.5 hour drive away) I really understand the challenges, especially if you are not local.

There may be local organisations that have volunteer befrienders etc.

Hope that helps.

smdevon

I would always use family money rather than lose control to a bank or equity release company!
I have seen an old friend who took ER - mainly to help keep her in the manner in which she preferred to live - and then when she had to go into care some years later there was absolutely NOTHING left so had to rely on state funding, and dumped in a not very nice care home. Ghastly for her and her family.
Nearly a similar experience with my parents but I managed to avoid this by lending them money to pay off the bank. Got it recorded legally with a mortgage document and was repaid after both parents had died. This also reduced the IHT payable on their estate.

MrsAverage

Get Power of attorneys set up for both finance and heath and welfare now, then if her health does start to fail, you (and siblings if wished) can step in and do things on her behalf

This is very important.

Generally Equity Release should only ever be a very last resort due to the rates, terms and conditions. The happy smiley adverts only show the situation at the start NOT the end

pjran

It’s heart warming that you’re in a position to help your mother. I think she needs some social life so maybe you could pay for taxis to take her to film clubs or day centres. If she’s coping in her own home she might not need an injection of large sums of cash so no need for ER.

After all at some point you’ll inherit so spend a little on her now to keep her amused.

Malthusian

smdevon wrote: »

Nearly a similar experience with my parents but I managed to avoid this by lending them money to pay off the bank. Got it recorded legally with a mortgage document and was repaid after both parents had died. This also reduced the IHT payable on their estate.

It should be noted that equity release or selling the house and spending the money would also have reduced the IHT. It's spending the money and reducing the size of the estate that reduces the IHT bill, not the loan itself.

There is nothing more Inheritance Tax efficient than spending your assets.

Pollycat

sacherlover wrote: »

If Mum is depressed and anxious it might be more helpful to see if you can organise some activities / company for her.

I work part time in Sheltered Housing and isolation and loneliness is a big issue, even within some Sheltered Housing developments.

Equally, having been involved with looking after my Partner's Mum at a distance (2.5 hour drive away) I really understand the challenges, especially if you are not local.

There may be local organisations that have volunteer befrienders etc.

Hope that helps.

pjran wrote: »

It’s heart warming that you’re in a position to help your mother. I think she needs some social life so maybe you could pay for taxis to take her to film clubs or day centres. If she’s coping in her own home she might not need an injection of large sums of cash so no need for ER.

After all at some point you’ll inherit so spend a little on her now to keep her amused.

I think these 2 posts make a very good point about socialising.
My Mum goes to a day centre where she plays games (dominoes etc) and is given lunch.

omendata

Crikey i never understand questions like these

I would have given my mum every single penny i had if she needed it without the need to pay it back or bother my brother.

I guess families are different these days and love, respect and honouring your folks after they paid for you all your years doesn't mean a thing these days!

How very sad indeed!
No wonder society is finished in the UK.
No one would ever even ask that question in Slovakia where i live now!

Sea_Shell

omendata wrote: »

Crikey i never understand questions like these

I would have given my mum every single penny i had if she needed it without the need to pay it back or bother my brother.

I guess families are different these days and love, respect and honouring your folks after they paid for you all your years doesn't mean a thing these days!

How very sad indeed!
No wonder society is finished in the UK.
No one would ever even ask that question in Slovakia where i live now!

How does giving every last penny you have to your parents help anyone, in the long term. You're effectively just passing the financial pain down the generations or onto the state.

Don't forget, some parents, mine included, put themselves in financial jeoperdy (not aimed at OP).

Sorry to hijack the thread, but I don't like the generalisation that anyone NOT prepared to bankrupt themselves for their parents is a bad person!!!!

onwards&upwards

omendata wrote: »

Crikey i never understand questions like these

I would have given my mum every single penny i had if she needed it without the need to pay it back or bother my brother.

I guess families are different these days and love, respect and honouring your folks after they paid for you all your years doesn't mean a thing these days!

How very sad indeed!
No wonder society is finished in the UK.
No one would ever even ask that question in Slovakia where i live now!

Literally every penny? No way, you definitely wouldn’t and I think this is just what they call ‘virtue signalling’.

AnotherJoe

omendata wrote: »

Crikey i never understand questions like these

I would have given my mum every single penny i had if she needed it without the need to pay it back or bother my brother.

I guess families are different these days and love, respect and honouring your folks after they paid for you all your years doesn't mean a thing these days!

How very sad indeed!
No wonder society is finished in the UK.
No one would ever even ask that question in Slovakia where i live now!

Then you'd be a fool because possibly unlike Slovakia, when Mum goes into a home in the UK the state will take the house*, which means that if the OP doesn't "loan" mum the money, the OP is effectively giving the money to the state.

You said you'd "give your last penny" to your mum, but would you give it to Andrej Kiska ?

So, yes its very clear you "dont understand questions like these" because you are clueless as to how the system works here and have launched into an unwarranted ignorant and rude attack on the OP.

* effectively, without getting into too much detail