Severe debt

100Recycled

Hi all,

I'm just sure why I'm posting, just looking for some support I think.

We are in severe debt. I can't even type the amount. It's having an awful effect on my mental health, I spend most of the time crying. Tears pouring out as I write this. I've even considered suicide. I went to the doctor who said I need to deal with the situation - he is of course right.

I've contacted StepChange and thinking about a DMP, but it will take 25 years to pay off. I really want to pay off the debt - I accumulated it. But I'm terrified it will be rejected when we apply.

I have two young children and the guilt that my stupidly has caused this is overwhelming. I don't feel like a worthy parent at all.

I guess I just was looking for some positive stories. Do DMPs ever get rejected? We have £200 to contribute a month at the moment. Childcare has been costing us £1,600 a month and one of us has now had to give up working as we can't afford this anymore. Once the children are in school and we both work this we will be able to contribute more. Will this help us get accepted for a DMP? I really don't want to lose our house and the security, for the children.

Sorry.

tlc678910

Hi,
You have come to the right place for support. From your posting history you might be new to the board but many people here have been in similar positions. The experts will be along soon x
TLC

Edit to add: your children are young - if they are warm, fed and clothed then all they need is your love and care. This is the right time to deal with this.

DCFC79

Fill SOA in here
http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


I believe at the bottom there's a link that will format it for posting on here.


Speak to step change re your options.


Its good your now not contemplating suicide, you've got 2 kids who are your world.

sourcrates

Hi,


Debt management plans do not get rejected, they are an informal arrangement between you and your creditors, when you can no longer afford the contracted repayments on your debts.


There is no acceptance or rejection as such, the creditors look at your budget, look at what your offering, and can usually see its a reasonable offer you are making.


If a particular creditor dosent accept the offer, you still pay them, all they will do is pass the account to a 3rd party, maybe a debt collector, you will then just pay them the same instead.

I assume you are a homeowner, if not would bankrupcy be an option ?


I guess the SOA will tell us what we need to know.

Happier_Me

Please, please, please fill in the SOA soon and honestly so the people on this board can give you the support and information you need. A DMP may not be the best solution for you but the SOA will help us to work that out and point you in the right direction.

If you haven't already, ring Stepchange too for advice on what's best for you.

The sooner the face this, the sooner you can take the steps needed to get back in control and the better you will feel.

purrfect

Oh how I sympathise AND empathise. I was just where you are about 8 years ago & really felt life wasn't worth living. I got help and now manage my own debt plan. I NEVER believed I could do that - I was terrified. But posting here is your first step to a new & better life. It won't get better tomorrow but IT WILL if you just take one day at a time & know you will get to a point (sooner than you can imagine) where things become manageable. You'll be able to breathe again soon & remember most of us who have been/are in this situation have blamed ourselves but that doesn't mean you need to punish yourself. Just be honest with the debt charity you choose & they'll get things sorted for you asap. Good luck - just keep going.

-taff

Think about it..No one gets taught how to budget in school or how to manage money. Adverts tell you you can have everything and credit is easy to obtain with a full time job. If you've never been taught how to budget, how to live within your means, how to project your finances into a year, five years, ten years, if you've been lulled by easy credit, then it's no wonder that people get into debt.
You've had your lightbulb moment by the sounds of it, but really, you now know that it's easy to get into debt, and it's not something that doesn't happen to other poeple, but it is, at the end of the day, only money, and there are much worse things than owing money, like leaving yuor kids behind.
Every debt has a remedy, speak to Stepchange about yours, they will be able to give you realistic options. Until you've filled in an SOA and gone through it with them [or with the people on this board], don't panic, just gather your information regarding monthly/yearly commitments, like rent/mortgage/food etc, and forget about the debt owing for now

. That way, they'll see [or the people on this baord will see] how much money you have available towards the debt and advise accordingly. Again, don't panic, there are ways and means to go through this.

Purplefizz

Please don't beat yourself up, though I understand it's easier said than done. it's so easy to do and so hard to get out of but there's always hope no matter how crap you feel.

I don't think anyone gets refused a debt management plan, they are in place to help you get out of debt and manage them. You are not alone and you have already done the hardest and most significant thing by facing it.

Good luck!

EssexHebridean

congratulations for posting and acknowledging your situation - that really IS one of the toughest bits you've already dealt with.

If you want to get an idea of parenting on a (seriously!) low income and how beautifully it can be managed take a look at Wannabefree's diary on the debt free diaries board - she's an absolute inspiration, I promise, and really backs up the argument that as long as there is plenty of love, kindness and thoughtfulness kids don't fare too badly if there;'s not a lot of money to throw around.

Also try not to look at the DMP as "this will take 25 years to pay off" but instead as "I'm taking control of this" - things can change a lot in time - remember at some stage the childcare cost burden will reduce and enable you to make higher payments as well - it will be a matter of monitoring and adjusting things several times but you are in a great position to get things sorted out quicker than that initial time estimate.

Get your SOA put together as others have said, and post it in here and let's make some headway on helping you to get this situation sorted.

ev8

Ending your life isn't the answer, your children need you more than they need anything else. They are clearly cared for and you provide for them.

You have debt, you're not alone,from what I've seen you're with most of the country. There are so many people around who can help you and help you breathe a little easier.

I don't have any real advise except keep on. You're able to do this and it'll be much better when you've faced it all and have a plan. Take people's good advice here.

All the best to you and your family.

Unicorn_cottage

Big hugs 100Recycled and well done for facing your situation. It will get better. Lots and lots of support on here from people who have gone through similar. Keep posting x