We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
The Forum now has a brand new text editor, adding a bunch of handy features to use when creating posts. Read more in our how-to guide

Behaviors & Impact

Hi, we have an issue and are looking for some advice.

We had a dispute with our neighbours in the flat above about the noise.
All parties (us and them) know that the issue is because of the poor insulation in the building.

We are trying to resolve this issue, but we have a bigger problem now.

The flat above came down and banged on our door, so my wife opened the door and was shouted at by one of the tenants stating ‘what are you thinking’ (about the noise), he then asked her where she was from and stated that he needed to speak to me. My wife answered, ‘he is in Poland for work’ then he shouted at her ‘Liar’ and added ‘I know your husband goes to work by bike and his bike is just there’. Because of his attitude, my wife said to him ‘I’ll call the police or your management company’. Then he said to her ‘No, this is England, I’ll take care of this’.

My wife asked him ‘Please do not look down on me or make fun of me because of my background’.
Then he did a cultural gesture, (sorry I can’t explain the meaning of the gesture to you well in writing) as if he was making fun of her culture.

Next morning, he gave her a letter stating that he had contacted the landlord and he is coming around next Friday. My wife asked him what time the landlord would come around, but he didn’t answer. I contacted their management company to find out the time, then found out that he didn’t contacted the management company whatsoever!
The management company advised me to call the police.

My wife feels intimidated and hurt from the experience and also feels she has been made fun of and lied to and we now have concerns due to our 7-year-old daughter. When I was back in the UK, I talked to them and asked them if I had opened the door would they still have acted the same. They didn’t say anything.

Now we are thinking of reporting the incident to the police. But if we do that, it might have negative repercussions for us when we decide to sell our flat. It seems like we are in a helpless situation.

Comments

  • G_M
    G_M Posts: 51,977 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 5 April 2019 at 7:59PM
    Can you clarify whether
    * you are a leaseholder - you own your flat, or
    * you are tenant (with an AST?) renting from a landlord who owns the flat
    AND whether
    * your neighbour is a leaseholder - he owns his flat, or
    * your neighbour is a tenant (with an AST?) renting from a landlord who owns the flat

    It affects whether you should be talking to

    * your landlord
    * his letting agent
    * your manangement company
    * neighbour's landlord
    * his letting agent
    * his manangement company

    However, the attatitude, language and behaviour you describe is clearly racist, possibly sexist, and probably discriminatory.

    As such, yes, you should report it fomally to the police. Having said that, I can understand why you might be reluctant.

    Of course, this is a classic scenario where fear can lead to somone not standing for their rights. I make no judgement - only you can decide what to do in the best interests of yourself, your family, and society.
  • csgohan4
    csgohan4 Posts: 10,607 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    record voice or video next time and see if he will still make those comments
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"

    G_M/ Bowlhead99 RIP
  • davidmcn
    davidmcn Posts: 23,596 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    xiteex wrote: »
    My wife answered, ‘he is in Poland for work’ then he shouted at her ‘Liar’ and added ‘I know your husband goes to work by bike and his bike is just there’.
    He thought you would have cycled to Poland?
  • adonis
    adonis Posts: 1,072 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    davidmcn wrote: »
    He thought you would have cycled to Poland?


    Quite athletic these poles.:)
  • xiteex
    xiteex Posts: 12 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    G_M wrote: »
    Can you clarify whether
    * you are a leaseholder - you own your flat, or
    * you are tenant (with an AST?) renting from a landlord who owns the flat
    AND whether
    * your neighbour is a leaseholder - he owns his flat, or
    * your neighbour is a tenant (with an AST?) renting from a landlord who owns the flat

    It affects whether you should be talking to

    * your landlord
    * his letting agent
    * your manangement company
    * neighbour's landlord
    * his letting agent
    * his manangement company

    However, the attatitude, language and behaviour you describe is clearly racist, possibly sexist, and probably discriminatory.

    As such, yes, you should report it fomally to the police. Having said that, I can understand why you might be reluctant.

    Of course, this is a classic scenario where fear can lead to somone not standing for their rights. I make no judgement - only you can decide what to do in the best interests of yourself, your family, and society.

    Thanks for your reply.

    We own our flat with a lease, the flat above is rented out. We wanted to sort this out amicably so we went to the management company but they said they couldn't do anything unless the tenants were hostel towards them or unless the landlord instructed them to do something, we don't have the landlords details.

    So we are still unsure what to do
  • csgohan4
    csgohan4 Posts: 10,607 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 6 April 2019 at 1:47PM
    realistically the police may not do much but you can try, but without evidence, it's your word against theirs hence why recording is important

    Ignore them as they don't seem to want to engage


    I don't think the LL will care either as long as their paying rent to him/her, they won't care about you
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"

    G_M/ Bowlhead99 RIP
  • cattie
    cattie Posts: 8,844 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    xiteex wrote: »
    we went to the management company but they said they couldn't do anything unless the tenants were hostel towards them or unless the landlord instructed them to do something, we don't have the landlords details.

    So we are still unsure what to do

    The agents sound pretty ineffectual I'd say. They are paid to manage the property & this includes contacting absent landlords when a tenant of theirs proves bothersome. And of course as they are not letting the landlord know their tenant is causing problems, how is he to be aware that the tenants have caused an issue with other leaseowners?

    If it were really getting me down, I'd be inclined to insist that the landlord be notified that there have been some issues with the downstairs leaseholders as it could be that he wouldn't want to renew their tenancy when the time comes.

    You mention contacting the police, but I don't think they'd be able to do much on the info you've given. Their resources are already stretched to the limit.

    As you are aware, when you own a property you do have to be careful about making official compaints about neighbours, as any such issues are supposed to be declared when trying to sell & could result in you losing the sale.

    Tell your wife not to open the door to this neighbour in future, let him speak to her through a closed door if necessary & if you don't have a spy hole, fit one so she can check who is outside before answering. And of course the suggestion to record any interaction with them in future is a good one.
    The bigger the bargain, the better I feel.

    I should mention that there's only one of me, don't confuse me with others of the same name.
  • xiteex
    xiteex Posts: 12 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Sorry for the late reply, thank you for you comments. We have been thinking and we have talked to some more people, as much as we would like to take this issue further, it might work negatively towards us in the future when and if we want to sell. We should not feel that this kind of thing would have a negative impact for us, especially as it's something we have no control over, people with other backgrounds should be protected. If it seems like this is the way that it is then it's just sad, I'm speechless.

    Thank you again
  • xiteex wrote: »
    Sorry for the late reply, thank you for you comments. We have been thinking and we have talked to some more people, as much as we would like to take this issue further, it might work negatively towards us in the future when and if we want to sell. We should not feel that this kind of thing would have a negative impact for us, especially as it's something we have no control over, people with other backgrounds should be protected. If it seems like this is the way that it is then it's just sad, I'm speechless.

    Thank you again


    You will have to mention this when you sell regardless, so don’t put up with it just for that reason.
  • AdrianC
    AdrianC Posts: 42,189 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    xiteex wrote: »
    Then he did a cultural gesture, (sorry I can’t explain the meaning of the gesture to you well in writing) as if he was making fun of her culture.
    I'm struggling to think of what this "gesture" could be, unless it's something that both would recognise and understand because they share a similar background. If that is so, then it's hard to claim racial discrimination.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 354.4K Banking & Borrowing
  • 254.4K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 455.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 247.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 604.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 178.4K Life & Family
  • 261.6K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.7K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.