(NON FINANCIAL) Retirement plans/ dreams/ discussion.

MallyGirl

This is the message I am trying to get across to DH. He has had far too many colleagues and ex colleagues die young, and my boss had a heart attack last year just after his 40th. I have spent the last year or so talking about retirement on a regular basis. The van was dropped in to be converted to a camper last week and we have another 18 months (minimum) till DD goes to uni. She is refusing to go away with us again, apart from one week in Snowdonia already booked in the summer, before her A levels so we expect to get some early use out of it. It will probably be good for her to experience being without us a bit before uni - although DH is still trying to get his head around this as a concept!

crv1963

MallyGirl wrote: »

This is the message I am trying to get across to DH. He has had far too many colleagues and ex colleagues die young, and my boss had a heart attack last year just after his 40th. I have spent the last year or so talking about retirement on a regular basis. The van was dropped in to be converted to a camper last week and we have another 18 months (minimum) till DD goes to uni. She is refusing to go away with us again, apart from one week in Snowdonia already booked in the summer, before her A levels so we expect to get some early use out of it. It will probably be good for her to experience being without us a bit before uni - although DH is still trying to get his head around this as a concept!

I had my heart attack out of the blue at 53 years old two years ago- no warning, lifestyle I thought reasonably healthy- now changed, so yes we'll go as we can afford it, I think by the time I hit 58 or 59. Trouble is I really enjoy most aspects of my job!

With regards children growing it does take some head space! My youngest is 22, I sometimes struggle with it, my wife tells me-"If he's hungry he's quite capable of getting a snack!"

bluenose1

My husband has just come back from playing football and one of the guys couldn't play as had just been told his blood pressure through roof. Another reason I want to get away from work stress.

Our youngest is 16 and at least can make himself an omelette, though we won't leave him overnight until he is 18. A lot more self sufficient than my two eldest ever where.
Though that is as much my fault as there's as with working full time I tended to do all the cooking and their job was the dishes.

Having our first night away tomorrow night alone as my 22 year old is "babysitting" Got a good Groupon offer for £89 for 2 for bed, breakfast and Dinner in a Grade 2 Hotel with excellent reviews on tripadvisor.
A taste of what I hope retirement will be like.

MallyGirl

We were just away for a few days in the New Forest while DD was climbing Snowdon with DofE. Nice to do something just for us (and dogs). We haven't yet left DD (17) overnight but she is priming us to do so next Easter as she wants peace to revise. She is very sensible but DH will still worry - she did a trek in Nepal last year and we took the opportunity to go to see bears in Vancouver but DH had to sign on every day to the satellite tracker they took with them to make sure they were still moving!

bluenose1

Mallygirl - New Forest sounds lovely, Your DH sounds just like mine re worrying. There again I can understand his concern if she was in Nepal etc.
Now that my eldest two have left home I worry about them less thankfully. Though have a feeling our 16 year old will live at home whilst at University. More sleepless nights coming up for me when he goes into town drinking with his friends!!!

waveydavey48

It's sobering to consider how many of us have had apparently healthy colleagues who have died quite young. One chap I worked with did his 40 years with the company, was financially set and died on the first anniversary of the day he left at age 60.

Once you're sorted financially, live a bit.

MallyGirl

DH worked for a small company for many years before being made redundant- he then joined another small one (only for it to be bought by a massive company). At the first one there were 2 sudden deaths amongst people he knew pretty well - one in his 30s and one in his 40s. There were also 2 suicides. It was a very high stress environment all round and we were both glad when he was out of there. Sadly the new company matches pretty closely - 2 sudden death under 40 & 1 suicide in less than 3 years.
DH is overweight and I worry- at least he is happier in the new role but the stress is still there. He talks about losing weight and getting fitter but is out of the house for 12 hours and then comes home to share in the ferrying of DD. I am hopeful that DD passing her driving test will mean we can do some things for ourselves in the evening.

enthusiasticsaver

We are early retirees too. DH retired at the end of 2016 at aged 58 and I retired at the end of 2017 at 57. We don't get our state pensions until age 66 so that is 2024 and 2026 but are living off savings and DB pensions at the moment.


DH has always had lots of hobbies so manages to fill his time with anything to do with trains it seems. He belongs to a model railway club and has done for several decades and they exhibit all over the country. He has recently started volunteering for a local primary school who has built a garden railway in the grounds so he maintains with a friend and goes in to instruct teachers on how it runs so they can build into curriculum. He is a retired engineer so builds model trains too. He has a small hobby room at home and a workshop in our large garage where he has any number of what seem like expensive tools like lathes, laser cutters, etc etc.


My hobbies are more social and energetic. We both belong to a local leisure club so I use the pool, spa, classes and gym and DH goes to a class and we use the restaurant/caf! and soft play with our granddaughters who we look after one day a week. I am always meeting friends for coffees, lunches, theatre trips etc and just joined the U3A walking group and garden group to do local walks varying from 2 or 3 miles to 10 miles. They meet once a week and once a month the U3a garden club visit a local garden of which there are many in Cornwall. The rest of my time is taken up with gardening, reading, playing the piano etc.


We travel more now we are retired. This year because of Brexit we shunned going abroad until we saw how it pans out but are planning a month long trip to Canada in 2020. We will also do a family centre parks trip to celebrate my 60th birthday. This year I have done Brittany with a friend in March and will be spending a week in the New Forest in June with the whole family and ten days in the lake district with DH in September. Several weekends away either in Bristol to see my eldest daughter or Surrey to visit my Mum. We take every opportunity to use our National Trust membership too when the weather permits.


In between we are doing home improvement projects. Last year we put in a new kitchen and this year we will change the bathrooms. Next year it is the garden. Always with an eye on easy maintenance. We live in a modernish 4 bed house but even though it is just the two of us we seem to use every room either for hobbies, grandchildren or spare room for our eldest daughter who lives away from our town.

We decided to go early while we were healthy and are trying to enjoy as active a retirement as possible. We never seem to get bored and enjoy the freedom of just doing what we want.

bugslett

MallyGirl wrote: »

DH is overweight and I worry- at least he is happier in the new role but the stress is still there. He talks about losing weight and getting fitter but is out of the house for 12 hours and then comes home to share in the ferrying of DD. I am hopeful that DD passing her driving test will mean we can do some things for ourselves in the evening.

Only in the last few months have I gone from leaving the house at 05.45 and getting back around 12 hours later, and those have been the shortest hours of my working life.

Being a fat bird:(, I'm looking forward to having more time to look after myself and cut the stress down a lot. Being healthier is the nearest thing I have to a plan.

9 more operational days left:j

shinytop

I'm looking forward to having more time to look after myself and cut the stress down a lot.

That's exactly what I'm going to do. It's not just the stress of work, it's the stress of having to fit everything else into the small amount of time available between working/sleeping and having little or no time to just do nothing.