Selling fees: can I request my ex pays?

MazW

Hi
My ex partner ended our relationship out of the blue at the start of the year. It was a complete shock to me and not an acquiescent split.
If we were to sell our house, could I request he pays the selling fees (estate agents, solicitors etc.) frorm his half of the equity, given that this is not a decision I was a party in making?
I'm not planning to milk him for all he's worth, but any additional finances would help me. My plan is actually not to sell, but in working out the equity and to buy him out I'm trying to work out how much I actually have to give him (and thus have to find from somewhere).
Thanks in advance
Maz

davidmcn

No, whose "fault" it is that a relationship breaks down doesn't come into splitting the proceeds/costs of selling a property. Though if you're not selling the question seems academic.

antrobus

MazW wrote: »

Hi
My :beer:ex partner ended our relationship out of the blue at the start of the year. It was a complete shock to me and not an acquiescent split.
If we were to sell our house, could I request he pays the selling fees (estate agents, solicitors etc.) from his half of the equity, given that this is not a decision I was a party in making?.....

Well you can ask,

MazW wrote: »

I'm not planning to milk him for all he's worth, but any additional finances would help me. My plan is actually not to sell, but in working out the equity and to buy him out I'm trying to work out how much I actually have to give him (and thus have to find from somewhere).

If you are going to buy him out there won't be any selling fees to deduct.

Slithery

MazW wrote: »

My ex partner ended our relationship out of the blue at the start of the year. It was a complete shock to me and not an acquiescent split.
If we were to sell our house, could I request he pays the selling fees (estate agents, solicitors etc.) frorm his half of the equity, given that this is not a decision I was a party in making?

Maybe it was your fault that he decided to split up with you. Are you willing to pay all of the selling costs?

Hutch100uk

My ex was in your shoes nearly 2 years ago. I ended the relationship and the house had to be sold. He didn't actually put any equity into it but he reckoned I SHOULD pay all the fees myself because he didn't want to split.
I refused. When people split up its usually wanted by more than one person than the other. That's just life.

Larac

If you were married and this was a divorce - regardless of who is at fault the costs of the sale would be born by both parties. I can't see how the scenario you describe is any different.

hazyjo

My first husband paid for the lot after he left me for his secretary. Selling fees, divorce, the lot. Pure guilt money. I wasn't going to refuse it - certainly wasn't my decision. He knew me well enough to know I wouldn't pay so it would have dragged out a whole lot longer.


I would be saying something like 'I presume you don't expect me to pay moving costs' and take it from there. I wouldn't put it as a question or try to have a discussion about it.


If it was more of a 'just can't live together/it's not working' situation, just split it. Agree with above, you can't really assign blame as such. Split with others and things were paid for evenly.


Good luck.

TBagpuss

Ypou can ask whatever you want but you can't force it - normally, the sale proceeds would be paid off and then the net procceds divivided.

If you want to buy out your ex's interest then it is normal to deduct 'notional costs of sale' (i.e what the estate agents and legal costs would have been if you were selling) when working out the equity, asd that leaves both of you in the position you would have been in if it was being sold (and you will have those costs at some point in thefuture)

foxy-stoat

MazW wrote: »

Hi
My ex partner ended our relationship out of the blue at the start of the year. It was a complete shock to me and not an acquiescent split.
If we were to sell our house, could I request he pays the selling fees (estate agents, solicitors etc.) frorm his half of the equity, given that this is not a decision I was a party in making?
I'm not planning to milk him for all he's worth, but any additional finances would help me. My plan is actually not to sell, but in working out the equity and to buy him out I'm trying to work out how much I actually have to give him (and thus have to find from somewhere).
Thanks in advance
Maz

You will find the money from the lender - once they agree that you can take on the mortgage on your own you should be able to pull enough money out of the equity for him to sign the transfer of equity to you.

How much will depend on current market value (realistic) less any fees, less the redemption figure of the mortgage (which will be higher than the outstanding balance) so get this in writing from the lender as a starting point. Fees should be legal costs and mortgage fees.

If your not selling then you wont be incurring Estate Agents fees so it WOULD be milking him if your deducted half of these costs that you aren't actually incurring.

MazW

Many thanks for your help everyone, I thought this was the case but my financial advisor suggested I might be able to pass on the "notional costs of sale" (thanks TBagpuss for the term) to my ex. I think she's more angry than me about the way things ended between me and my ex than I am though!