How is it fair?

Dawn2013

So...

The thing is I find some things to say the least not fair in my marriage.

1. Husband is earning in one week amount I earn in two weeks. Still most of the times we are on almost zero money, zero everything.

2. All that I earn goes into his account, for rent, food. Each month I am getting frustrated because I remain with no money.

3. All of the time he says is just a period. But the period is since I arrived in U.K., November 2017.

My question: Is it normal that he gets all money and pays what his debts are? Such as phone bill, which is huge, such as house in native country, which I was not ok with him buying it... I don't have whatsoever no needs at all?!?

Is it financial abuse? Cause emotional I sure know it is. He is shouting, yelling, speaking bad words on a constant basis.

And when I tried to keep, after paying part of rent and food, money for me he began emotional blackmail.

Thank you for your answers.

Artytarty

I think you know it is not fair.
But people treat you how you let them.
I hope you can the inner strength and support from family and friends to stand up to him.

Seanymph

No, clearly your expectations were very low, and he has used that.
I hope that you can find a way to make a better balance in your life

If you telephone womensaid they will offer you support, there is a thread here about them, they are a great organisation, and you do not need to be being hit to call them.

They will be pleased to talk to you.

Comms69

Dawn2013 wrote: »

So...

The thing is I find some things to say the least not fair in my marriage.

1. Husband is earning in one week amount I earn in two weeks. Still most of the times we are on almost zero money, zero everything. - have you done a budget?

2. All that I earn goes into his account, for rent, food. Each month I am getting frustrated because I remain with no money. - does he also remain with no money?

3. All of the time he says is just a period. But the period is since I arrived in U.K., November 2017. - but what is the overriding issue? It seems that you need to earn more?

My question: Is it normal that he gets all money and pays what his debts are? Such as phone bill, which is huge, such as house in native country, which I was not ok with him buying it... I don't have whatsoever no needs at all?!? - but your married, so these are your debts and assets too

Is it financial abuse? - I don't see how? Unless you're suggesting he's taking your money and then keeping it somewhere else. at the minute it seems he's supporting you because you cant pay half? Cause emotional I sure know it is. He is shouting, yelling, speaking bad words on a constant basis. - leave?

And when I tried to keep, after paying part of rent and food, money for me he began emotional blackmail.

Thank you for your answers.

It doesn't have to be abuse to be a bad marriage, if you aren't happy, why are you still in it?

anna_1977

why do you pay all your money into his account? why not open your own account but transfer him a set amount each week.

If you're not happy in your marriage leave.

Silvertabby

Anna beat me to it.

Caz3121

In your other post you plan to leave your job soon...do you have another job lined up?

Les79

Solving world hunger would be easier than solving your issue

unindexed

it's not so fair.. jesus, I have almost the same thing with my GF, almost every month I have something from my sallary to save, while she almost spend all... I rly didn't get why this happens. since I pay for our flat, we buy food 50/50 and what so over - she get a slightly more than me (by 15-20% probably)
But in the end of the month she told me that she need money and I must give it her. Any tips?

northwalesd

unindexed wrote: »

Any tips?

Get a new girlfriend.

MEM62

unindexed wrote: »

Any tips?

Yeah. Either man up and stop letting her take advantage of you or walk away.