Buying a house with an annexe for my elderly Dad

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Change is going to be very confusing for your Dad now. It might be better for him only have to move once (to care home) than twice (unfamiliar anex followed by inevitable care home).


There are no easy decisions for family once someone is diagnosed with dementia.

Mojisola

Jofrances wrote: »

My husband and I are looking in to buying a house with an annexe for my Father who is in the early stages of Dementia.

It's very hard to say how quickly or slowly the dementia will develop.

My Mum was very fortunate in that she actually improved after starting on medication and the eventual deterioration was very slow. With outside carers' help, we managed to keep her at home until she died from other causes.

Whether you, as a family, can manage your father's health needs depends on so many unknowns - sometimes you just have to do what feels right for now and make provisional plans for the various possibilities that may arise.

Jofrances

Thanks.really helpful.

Jofrances

Thank you, it’s nice to hear a positive response to having my Father live with us. The truth is that it’s an awful, stressful and sad situation and there’s no easy solution, but my hope is that, as you mentioned, with the help of carers, we could make his last years as comfortable as possible. I’m so glad to hear that your Mum was lucky enough to benefit from your support, I hope my Dad can do the same. Thank you.

Jofrances

Thanks, those are useful (if alarming) figures. I need to look into the cost of carers at home more closely, I’d been working on an amount of 1-1.5k a week as that is what my friends Father pays. At 3k a week it would eat all his money in about 4 years, which would be appalling, but might be doable, it’s all a bit ‘how longs a piece of string’ in terms of time frames. I’ll get some clarification, thanks for the advice.
I couldn’t agree more that there are no easy solutions where dementia is concerned, it feels like a long stream of decisions that I don’t feel qualified to make.

xylophone

At 3k a week it would eat all his money in about 4 years, which would be appalling, but might be doable, it’s all a bit ‘how longs a piece of string’ in terms of time frames.

My relative's relative is very nearly 97 - she has been in a nursing home for the last year but prior to that was first in an excellent residential home and then a Care Home.

She had a friend in the Care Home who suffered from mild dementia and lived to over 100.

The progression of this condition is very variable which is what makes decisions so hard.

When you have carers in your own home you become an employer with all that entails - consider pension/NI/insurance etc.

If your father becomes seriously incapacitated, you do need to have a carer on hand night and day so a shift system needs to be in operation. Then you need to consider holiday cover etc.

My relative was fortunate enough to find a very good nursing home (which had a vacancy at just the right time) only a few minutes walk from where he lives ( and with open visiting ) so that he can just drop in at any time, sit with relative, help her with meals etc.

You have a lot to think about - best wishes with the decision.