Any advice - single parent of two spiralling into debt

sadcuckoo

TheAble wrote: »

A really positive thing is that you have a lot of equity in your property and a very good salary so you should be able to qualify for the very best mortgage rates.

The problem I have with the mortgage is that I am a non-EU national, and very few banks are prepared to lend to me solo without a UK or an EU citizen as a guarantor or a co-borrower. I actually have to buy out my ex's share or sell the property within the next two years (according to the divorce settlement judgment), I am trying to bury my head in the sand about this too.

Agree your grocery bill is high. For just yourself and 2 kids with a bit of frugality I'd suggest you could spend £150/month. Or even lower. It just needs a bit of imagination and you CAN do it without really feeling any hardship.

Yeah, it does look like I am choosing the easiest option due to the lack of time. No batch cooking or meal planning here, the amount also includes lunches at work, and a sandwich on the train back home in the evening.

Even with kids you don't need to spend £1200/yr on clothing. Stick to the sales and use foresight. £25/month should be ample.

I was also surprised with this amount when I went through my bank statements. My 2yo child's nursery uniform is a bit on the high side (£30 for a jumper, £15 for a t-shirt), but the primary school is much more reasonable in this respect (£18 jumper, high street shirts and trousers). The main expense is replacement of lost items (since September, school shoes had to be replaced three times for oldest due to wear and tear or getting lost, and once for the youngest - only that was around £200)

It does feel like I need to go with a fine comb through every minor expenditure. I discovered a couple of direct debits to various charities set up as well when reviewing my bank statements - I do not even remember setting them up, and never noticed the charges.

sadcuckoo

DoctorStrange wrote: »

Although your ex isn't contributing to the costs of the childcare, should he not be contributing 30% to the mortgage to maintain his equity share?

No, how it works is that I live in the house, he charges me notional "occupational rent" for the use of his 30%, and I offset this by paying his 30% of the mortgage. I think it is pretty standard when the sale of the property is delayed on divorce.

sadcuckoo

ViolaLass wrote: »

If you can't expect anything lower than a 50 hour week and your commute is 90 minutes, you might as well look into teaching - it won't be worse.

I mean, I expected teaching to be... hmm... almost part-time, as in leaving the school at 3.30 and never looking back until the next morning. It turns out, I was a little bit off the mark (all teachers reading this are probably in fits of laughter now).

ViolaLass

sadcuckoo wrote: »

I mean, I expected teaching to be... hmm... almost part-time, as in leaving the school at 3.30 and never looking back until the next morning. It turns out, I was a little bit off the mark (all teachers reading this are probably in fits of laughter now).

Oh crikey, you did?

(I am a teacher, by the way)

Well, it isn't quite like that (but you're not the first member of the public to think so) but it can, in the right school, give you a flexibility that is very helpful

e.g. in my first school, I would leave at 3:45 on the dot whenever I wanted to, get time with my daughter at home and then finish my marking and planning after she had gone to bed. Plenty of work at weekends but to be done when it suited me, which helped.

I didn't work through much of the holidays but I was exhausted all the time.

As pointed out elsewhere, you would earn a LOT less. I took home about £1400 a month in my first year.

[Deleted User]

For school shoes, try Asda. I got my little one's shoes there for £12 in August, and they still look like new! And he is a typical boy who roughhouses and gives them a battering.
Everybody always thinks leather ones are more durable, but they actually look worn faster than the synthetic ones (and I don't buy leather anyway due to being vegan).

Sandwiches on the way home are a big expense. Say you spend £3 a day on them - that's £60 in a typical month - around £700 a year for sandwiches!
I find it helps to think of everything as an annual expense rather than a daily one. Maybe this is one you could tackle by trying to make sandwiches the night before and taking them? Or even by buying cereal bars, bananas or other things like that in your weekly shop. Either way, those options would save you serious money.

If you're currently having your food shop delivered by Ocado, look into cheaper options like Morrison's. They operate the same delivery system as Ocado, but tend to be a lot cheaper (they have wonky veg, own-brand stuff, etc.), and you can collect loyalty points.

[Deleted User]

Same for taking lunches into work. At the very least, you could buy pre-made things like instant noodles or even ready meals in your weekly shop - it would still be cheaper than buying things on the day.

I used to be like you in that I just buried my head in the sand and was totally unaware of my spends. Believe me, if you start making conscious decisions about everything, it's quite astounding how much it adds up!

pelirocco

MovingForwards wrote: »

Single person discount on the council tax?

Shop around for cheaper gas / electric.

Food - where are you shopping? Try Aldi and Lidl. You should be able to trim it down as the kids are young.

Cut back on clothing, hair cuts and gifts.

What is the 'other insurance', can you get it cheaper somewhere else?

Mobile - when is your contract up? Have sim only.

The Op is £600 over income , these savings arent going to cut it

pelirocco

beany_bot wrote: »

What I wouldn't give to be able to put £400 a month away in savings! This is the bizarrest SOA's I've ever seen tbh.
You can well afford to pay off your debt, you just need to change your choices. Half a million pound house, great wage, fancy clothes (assumed). Nearly half a grand into savings every month! :beer: Come on...

Well you know what they say about assumed

presumably the OP lives in a very expensive area , selling and buying houses costs a lot of money and so does renting anywhere
The OP has huge shortfall between earnings and outgoings , the childcare costs are crippling , but sorry I dont have any constructive advice OP

[Deleted User]

pelirocco wrote: »

The Op is £600 over income , these savings arent going to cut it

The thing is though - savings add up quickly, and if OP can save £300 a month between bills and groceries, then it'll be a huge step in the right direction. Even if it's just damage limitation, surely it's better than a bigger deficit?

In fact, in a situation like OP's, burying one's head and saying "the little things aren't enough so I won't do anything at all" is exactly the thing that will make it all spiral totally out of control.

Every little bit does matter. If you find enough little bits, you may be able to restore the balance.

KitKat2011

People have already mentioned getting a lodger. I don't know how many rooms you have or if you have any language schools nearby but outside of London you can get approx £90 per adult student per week and have them as and when it suits you. They also won't care if they are in a home with kids. If your children can share a room (if they aren't already) you can get at least 2 language students so a possible £180 per week. My family have done this for years and the adults are rarely home as want to be out with their fellow students.