Why is it okay ...

J_Nostin

Why is it okay for posters in threads to try and discredit another new-is poster like me with comments like "Hello new poster. " ? More than once from the same person too.

Why is it okay for posters in threads to suggest that another poster has previously had other names and been banned and (I found this funny) is male when they're not?

To all concerned: I have not been known by any other name and I have not been banned. Unless of course this forum takes offense now at what I've posted and bans me instead of having a word in the shell-likes of those that look like they are just trolling other users. So much for forum guidelines about "be nice to other users".

spadoosh

The mods respond to reported posts, have you reported anything?

It does sound like you care a lot more about what they think than they themselves probably do.

These kind of posts look like the situation where a sibling scream for mummy about the other when in all likelihood theyve both been troublesome.

J_Nostin

spadoosh wrote: »

The mods respond to reported posts, have you reported anything?

Yes. To no effect.

spadoosh wrote: »

It does sound like you care a lot more about what they think than they themselves probably do.

I understand where you're coming from but no. Lies are to be expected in public forums but - and you might think it odd or even disagree - I dislike bullying and if the actions I posted originally aren't bullying (albeit maybe subtle) how would you describe them?

spadoosh wrote: »

These kind of posts look like the situation where a sibling scream for mummy about the other when in all likelihood theyve both been troublesome.

Honestly that is blunt almost to the point of nastiness. I'm not a shrinking violet but neither am I trolling, unlike many others I've seen across MSE.

Are you saying that bullying in MSE is acceptable?

spadoosh

J_Nostin wrote: »

Yes. To no effect. This would suggest that theres little wrong with the post you reported. MSE tend to be over cautious through fear of litigation

I understand where you're coming from but no. Lies are to be expected in public forums but - and you might think it odd or even disagree - I dislike bullying and if the actions I posted originally aren't bullying (albeit maybe subtle) how would you describe them? i dont know what youre referring to specifically. FWIW not many people admit to liking bullying

Honestly that is blunt almost to the point of nastiness. I'm not a shrinking violet but neither am I trolling, unlike many others I've seen across MSE.

Are you saying that bullying in MSE is acceptable?

Yeh i can be pretty blunt. Nasty is certainly not intended but inevitably im dealing with an unknown (i dont know you) for me, an adult taking umbridge to comment online is a king to playground arguments. Whilst of massive imprtance to the individuals the vast majority of people see it as an irrelevance and pointless argument.

Im certain that bullying isnt acceptable on MSE. Bullying is subjective though;

Am i bullying you because i said post like yours sound childish?

Are you bullying me because of the suggestion of being nasty?

Are you bullying the people you intend to call out in this post?

Are they actually bullying you because they referred to you as a 'new' poster? Youre certainly a newer poster than me. Does that then mean its bullying if you call someone an apprentice?

I do struggle to think that much bullying properly exists on mse. If you are being bullied you have a lot of power that typically isnt available to bullied people. You have your anonymity, you have the ability to respond, you have zero possibility of physical violence against you, you have the ability to ignore and even block posters you do not wish to see.

People dont agree. Some people really dont agree. We all view things ever so slightly differently which can often lead to heated debate and the willingness to cause offence. But this is part of everyday life.

If someone referenced your inexperience or newness to something in real life would you actually demand your own platform to highlight how they are bullying you or would you think 'youre an idiot' and ignore them? For me it would be the latter. As the former , in my opinion, is reminiscent of playground arguments.

J_Nostin

spadoosh wrote: »

Yeh i can be pretty blunt. Nasty is certainly not intended but inevitably im dealing with an unknown (i dont know you) for me, an adult taking umbridge to comment online is a king to playground arguments. Whilst of massive imprtance to the individuals the vast majority of people see it as an irrelevance and pointless argument.

Im certain that bullying isnt acceptable on MSE. Bullying is subjective though;

Am i bullying you because i said post like yours sound childish?

Are you bullying me because of the suggestion of being nasty?

Are you bullying the people you intend to call out in this post?

Are they actually bullying you because they referred to you as a 'new' poster? Youre certainly a newer poster than me. Does that then mean its bullying if you call someone an apprentice?

I do struggle to think that much bullying properly exists on mse. If you are being bullied you have a lot of power that typically isnt available to bullied people. You have your anonymity, you have the ability to respond, you have zero possibility of physical violence against you, you have the ability to ignore and even block posters you do not wish to see.

People dont agree. Some people really dont agree. We all view things ever so slightly differently which can often lead to heated debate and the willingness to cause offence. But this is part of everyday life.

If someone referenced your inexperience or newness to something in real life would you actually demand your own platform to highlight how they are bullying you or would you think 'youre an idiot' and ignore them? For me it would be the latter. As the former , in my opinion, is reminiscent of playground arguments.

Thanks for a sensible reply.

If someone referenced your inexperience or newness to something in real life would you actually demand your own platform to highlight how they are bullying you or would you think 'youre an idiot' and ignore them? For me it would be the latter. As the former , in my opinion, is reminiscent of playground arguments.

I actually agree. But how often must the same person or people "referenced your inexperience or newness to something in real life" before you took umbrage and took what you think is the "playground argument" approach? You see once I shrug off. Twice even. But repeatedly seeing the same is a bit much.

I suppose the answer is either to do as others do or to go elsewhere.

spadoosh

J_Nostin wrote: »

Thanks for a sensible reply.


I actually agree. But how often must the same person or people "referenced your inexperience or newness to something in real life" before you took umbrage and took what you think is the "playground argument" approach? You see once I shrug off. Twice even. But repeatedly seeing the same is a bit much.

I suppose the answer is either to do as others do or to go elsewhere.

Youve got more options than that.

Theres an ignore list you can add people you dont want to hear from to. Theres sub forums within the forum where particular like minded groups of people hang out. As an example it always seems particularly friendly in the OS forums, ill always think twice before posting in there because i imagine im talking to my Nan (no offence OSers, i mean in terms of needing to be respectful :cool::rotfl:) where as the arms is like the pub where its a bit more lairy and theres always the village idiot knocking about.


Think of MSE like a club that anyone can join. Theres the main rules and then there is cultural rules. As an example more or less any post referring to compensation will be treat with a healthy level of scepticism. People will have the cold hard facts chucked at them about quantifiable losses which always comes across as agressive. But then its particularly difficult to say that how it is tough luck, without saying thats how it is tough luck.

J_Nostin

I note you didn't answer my question; how often must you be targetted before you say "enough"? I'm not trying to force you into a corner, just asking what I see as a sensible question because rather than posting in an area that interests me must I really stop because of repeatedly being targetted, and is this not what those doing the targetting are aiming for by their actions?

I've looked up how to block people but it looks like if they are quoted you still see their posts AND it only means that you don't actually see them (as it looks in this case) baiting you so that's not much help.

Back to "either to do as others do or to go elsewhere" then.

DCFC79

J_Nostin wrote: »

I note you didn't answer my question; how often must you be targetted before you say "enough"? I'm not trying to force you into a corner, just asking what I see as a sensible question because rather than posting in an area that interests me must I really stop because of repeatedly being targetted, and is this not what those doing the targetting are aiming for by their actions?

I've looked up how to block people but it looks like if they are quoted you still see their posts AND it only means that you don't actually see them (as it looks in this case) baiting you so that's not much help.

Back to "either to do as others do or to go elsewhere" then.

Or dont let the replies get to you.

J_Nostin

Theophile wrote: »

Poor poor J Nostin.


Being bullied while she is always so courteous towards other forum members.

Oh thank you so much for amply demonstrating just how nice other posters here can be. And don't worry, of course no one will wonder why you took so much time to research my past posts and quote them (out of context too) or wonder why you have an axe to grind.

Either respond in kind or ignore it will be then.

J_Nostin

DCFC79 wrote: »

Or dont let the replies get to you.

Yes, a thick skin is needed here isn't it? That's all their after & I must rise above it.