What happens now

Jenny61

I posted on here a while back about losing my dad in 2016 and how my mum had dementia and never left the house. So at the time I applied and received the letter of administration which meant I could transfer all my dad’s money into my mums account. At the time my mum told us the deeds where in join names and at the time we could not find them. We were advised by a solicitor to go for court of protection but it was quiet expensive so I persuaded my mum to add me as a third party to her building society account so I could pay her bills, and kept a spreadsheet on all monies out and bills paid which was working. We had been going down four times a week for two years now to check up on her, as she refuses all help from anyone else. We have had the social in and the mental team who said she was not a danger to herself or others and quiet happy to leave her there. So then about 6 weeks ago we got Carers in just to cover the three days we did not go down, hoping she would get used to that and we could extend it to a week now and again so we could at least have a holiday. But we now feel that was a mistake as since 2013 she has left the house twice, once for my brothers funeral in 2015 and again to visit Dad in hospital before he passed away. She just lives in her dressing gown and nighty all the time in home. But two weeks ago she was admitted to A&E at 3am in the morning as she was found wandering the streets in her gown, nighty and slippers. I was not informed till the next day at 11:30am when they managed to find out who she was. Since then we have had Care line fit a door sensor she already has a smoke alarm, carbon monoxide and alarm pendant. She is still in hospital and has been for 10 days, physically she is well it is just her mental capacity they are concerned about. While she has been in there we went all through the house looking for the deeds and my husband found them in an old tin book in the attic, but only with my Dads name on them.
We have a meeting today with the doctor, and the mental team to discuss what happens next with mum. I am not sure what is going to happen and am concerned that they could just keep her, she does not seem at all happy in the hospital and I am worried that she may end up in care and unhappy. She can self fund the care, but what happens when the money runs out, and what do I now do with the deeds that are in my Dads name. I have heard stories about people going into care in a nice care home until the money runs out and they get transferred into a social one. I am again at my wits end, because either I will have to make the decision or under the mental health act they will make it for me.

Yorkshireman99

Jenny61 wrote: »

I posted on here a while back about losing my dad in 2016 and how my mum had dementia and never left the house. So at the time I applied and received the letter of administration which meant I could transfer all my dad’s money into my mums account. At the time my mum told us the deeds where in join names and at the time we could not find them. We were advised by a solicitor to go for court of protection but it was quiet expensive so I persuaded my mum to add me as a third party to her building society account so I could pay her bills, and kept a spreadsheet on all monies out and bills paid which was working. We had been going down four times a week for two years now to check up on her, as she refuses all help from anyone else. We have had the social in and the mental team who said she was not a danger to herself or others and quiet happy to leave her there. So then about 6 weeks ago we got Carers in just to cover the three days we did not go down, hoping she would get used to that and we could extend it to a week now and again so we could at least have a holiday. But we now feel that was a mistake as since 2013 she has left the house twice, once for my brothers funeral in 2015 and again to visit Dad in hospital before he passed away. She just lives in her dressing gown and nighty all the time in home. But two weeks ago she was admitted to A&E at 3am in the morning as she was found wandering the streets in her gown, nighty and slippers. I was not informed till the next day at 11:30am when they managed to find out who she was. Since then we have had Care line fit a door sensor she already has a smoke alarm, carbon monoxide and alarm pendant. She is still in hospital and has been for 10 days, physically she is well it is just her mental capacity they are concerned about. While she has been in there we went all through the house looking for the deeds and my husband found them in an old tin book in the attic, but only with my Dads name on them.
We have a meeting today with the doctor, and the mental team to discuss what happens next with mum. I am not sure what is going to happen and am concerned that they could just keep her, she does not seem at all happy in the hospital and I am worried that she may end up in care and unhappy. She can self fund the care, but what happens when the money runs out, and what do I now do with the deeds that are in my Dads name. I have heard stories about people going into care in a nice care home until the money runs out and they get transferred into a social one. I am again at my wits end, because either I will have to make the decision or under the mental health act they will make it for me.

Given what you have said the COP is probably the only answer. The funds to payfor her care at home or in a home have to come from somewhere.

Keep_pedalling

Unfortunately not taking the solisitors advice was a mistake and you are now going to need to do this, because in all likelyhood you are going at some point to have to sell the house.

It really sounds like she is not safe in her own home, and from what you have said the best option sounds like residential care. I have been through this with my mother, and once it was obvious that this was the only option the relief that she had 24/7 supervision was a huge. I found having the main responsibility for her very stressful and it certainly was not helping my health.

As for the house, the ownership of that will be dependant on the value of his estate. As there was no will you mother should have inherited the first £250k plus 50% of anything above that. The remainder should have gone to his children.

Keep_pedalling

The hospital discharge team now have to make an assessment before she can be discharged, so find out from the ward staff who the responsible person is and be there when they do the assessment.

I found that the hospital discharge team, had more clout in getting my mum placed in care than social services did, as the block was always the finance panel (she was not self funding)

getmore4less

As you have LOA for your dad and the house is in his name do nothing with that yet.

If needed you can probably sell it without LPA/deputy in place

AS for mum, one thing we encountered was the hospital was quite happy to try and pass responsibility just to get a patient out of the place.

Make sure you have a full care plan in place before she goes home, there are loads of reasons/events that could prevent you from getting to the house so you need support from the services that are there to provide them.

An example for us was a daily injection, we could have done that but getting a district nurse to come on odd days or a week if we would have been unable to be there would have been very difficult to organize.

We insisted they come and do it every day that also meant that anything else that needed attention could get done as well.

SevenOfNine

Read up on this https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/money-work-and-benefits/nhs-continuing-healthcare/ before you go, at least refer to it at the meeting today.

Don't be fobbed off with the words "she can self fund", but ask for an assessment to be completed before she's discharged. Though it's possible she can self fund, best be sure before the hospital pack her off home, not when it's too late & she's been discharged already.

Best place for advice can be AgeUK, on-line, phone or in person. They will know the best course of action to protect your mum whilst you unravel the financial situation.