Off work sick & afraid to go back

Butterfliesarepretty

Hi, I used to be honest at first because they can't pass on those details to the new employer. I just told them that I needed something temporary to gain my confidence and in explaining the gaps between temp jobs was pretty easy too.

You can explain your strengths but do tell the new employer that you left due to too much workload, or stress etc. I was honest and my previous old work history showed them I was reliable.

Butterfliesarepretty

Slek247 wrote: »

Thank you so much for this. I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that. I am thinking temping is the way forward until I get something permanent along the way. When going for temp interviews; what's your advice when they ask me why I'm looking to leave my current perm job?

Thank you again x

Don't give up and be yourself. Don't lie or pretend. Explain your gaps and what you really want to be/achieve.

theoretica

Some good advice here, I would also suggest that you separate the life you enjoy from the time at work which you are paid for. If you expect to socialise and don't then it can be worse than if you know you won't. Go in, work, take something to do over lunch, enjoy your evenings and plot your escape.



Do you have ideas about why your job applications have not yet been successful?

jobbingmusician

I can't believe this thread has run for nearly 2 pages and no-one has said what I'm about to say!


Without minimising the fact that you have had a rotten time at work in the past, please remember that one thing affecting you at the moment is that you have been off sick and are about to return.

Lots and lots of people get anxious when they return to work after a period off (for whatever reason, even holiday) whatever their employment situation, however happy they normally are at work, etc. I do myself, and have seen multiple cases of people reporting it on here.

So without minimising any of the good advice you have been given here, and without pretending that everything is OK, etc, please don't forget that you are feeling anxious at the moment partly because it's very common after an absence, and probably also because you are still slightly under the weather.

Yes, you probably need to leave. Yes, you have been given good advice here, but your actual return probably won't be as bad as you fear. So develop a plan as far as you can, and prepare to just roll with the situation. Good luck!

Slek247

Thank you Theoretica.

Every job I haven’t gotten I have asked for interview feedback (most of the times they tell me they’ll get back to me and never do) but there’s no correlation between the feedback I’m given for eg they’ll use generic reasoning like ‘not enough experience’.

I’m not sure what to do really. Most of the jobs I’ve applied for have been within my current workplace but I’m thinking I should focus more on external jobs. Problem with that in the past was, when I applied and sent my CV in, I’m not hearing back at all!

Any tips?

theoretica

Slek247 wrote: »

Thank you Theoretica.

Every job I haven’t gotten I have asked for interview feedback (most of the times they tell me they’ll get back to me and never do) but there’s no correlation between the feedback I’m given for eg they’ll use generic reasoning like ‘not enough experience’.

I’m not sure what to do really. Most of the jobs I’ve applied for have been within my current workplace but I’m thinking I should focus more on external jobs. Problem with that in the past was, when I applied and sent my CV in, I’m not hearing back at all!

Any tips?

I think looking in a more concerted way at external jobs would be worth trying. Look out for any companies that you know are local and may only advertise jobs on their own websites, rather than general jobs sites - if a job is harder to find out about it will probably have fewer applicants. Extra thought to tweak your CV and cover letter for each job is worth it. But also it is simply a numbers game. If each job gets 50 realistic applications then statistically each person needs to apply for an average of 50 jobs...

[Deleted User]

Slek247 wrote: »

what's your advice when they ask me why I'm looking to leave my current perm job?

Not challenged enough.

Would like job nearer home.

Wish to try a different position.

Looking for part time/full time.

Change in work times suit.

(Have not personally tried this) I'm looking for a higher salary after not receiving a pay rise having done and committed to xyz for my current work place.

None of these would be lies.

I've found this month so far gloomier then last month when looking for other positions. On my last pretty 'pants' attempt to get out of the current workplace for a little while, got told an application for a job in my home county was on the reserve list earlier today. Just keep telling yourself more months clocked up in any one place will eventually work in your favour.

[Deleted User]

Hi Slek,

Hope you're feeling better and the responses have helped.
I just want you to know that I have been bullied at work. I'm mentally a strong person, however, it has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety.
This is mainly due to the fact that people (colleagues and managers), refuse to or don't want to, believe it is happening.
This means they would have to take responsibility and accept that there is a problem. It takes a lot of courage to stand up to bullying - whether you're the target or just a witness. People would rather come up with excuses such as you're too sensitive, it's all in your head, you caused it somehow, it's a personality clash, etc.
Please don't ever think it's your fault. Targets of bullies are usually top performers (you can google this) - which means that you must be great at your job and a threat to those that are insecure.
Just keep looking for another job with a better culture, that doesn't tolerate bullying and remember that you're great at what you do - or you would not have been promoted (or probably targeted).

FBaby

Sadly not likng and being liked by a boss is very common. Many things can get in the way. Your boss might find you slow and lacking self initiative. You might find them not giving you enough support. It's a matter of perspective.

What should happen is they should give you the chance to improve your work performance if they are not sarltisfied and you should accept criticism and be willing to work towards plans to improve.

Your LM is wrong to exclude you and make a display of their frustration with you. That's why the outcome of the grievance was mediation. You are showing a lack of professionalism by refusing it. Putting a grievance is not a mean to put pressure on managers to do what you want, ie. in this instance changing line manager. You need to learn to report to people you don't like and your LM needs to learn to manage people better. You said they did make some changes, so they are showing to have taken into account what they've been told, you haven't.

Use this experience to learn about dealing with conflict in the workplace professionally. Go back and just get on with your work ignoring all personal matter and when you feel frustration or upset getting to you, remind yourself it is only temporary. Get advice on your CV and keep applying to jobs, your time for an offer will come. You just don't know when yet.

skint_chick

It sounds like the situation with your manager isn't going to change. I'm not sure why you want to go to lunch with them anyway since she is going out of her way not to invite you, but this gives you a great opportunity to have lunch on your own and look for job ads on your phone or work on applications. Definitely focus on a new organisation to give yourself a fresh start.

If you want to leave and temp for a bit and you can afford to do this then go for it. It will help your confidence, you should be able to get some extra skills and experience, and it will help you work out what you want to do. You're 23 so it's not a big deal, practice saying out loud why you want a temp role so it doesn't sound like an excuse, start building relationships with temping agency staff, and work on your need to be liked. It's one of those things you don't necessarily have control over, just be polite, professional, and get on with the job. If you get the chance to chat with people in your next job stick to safe topics like where they are planning to go on holiday, how they got to where they are in the company, favourite local lunch options/packed lunches, and don't discuss your previous job other than you left to get new challenge and you're really enjoying x,y,z about this job.