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Hospital Appointment Transport

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  • edited 10 February 2019 at 9:16AM
    74jax74jax Forumite
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    edited 10 February 2019 at 9:16AM
    I didn't take my dad to his appointments and he was only 1.5hrs away. And I drive.

    It depends why you feel guilty, would you feel better if you just did it, or if you didn't would it make you poorly with guilt? I'm not sure why you feel guilty though.

    I think it's fine for them to ask, and equally fine for you to say no.

    If you are feeling pressured, I'd be assertive, say no sorry I'm not willing too, I have already said. And keep repeating if asked again.

    I would NOT contact the hospital. That is for the care home to do. Do not get involved other than visiting your friend.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • -taff-taff Forumite
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    They might have asked you because they thought you wanted to do more if you are her only visitor and she lives quite a way away from you.
    A £1000 a week doesn't sound like a very expensive care home.
  • FBabyFBaby Forumite
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    You can of course refuse, it is your right but as explained, a staff member would otherwise go with her and that means having another staff doing an extra shift if one member is out. Care homes have significant staffing issues is some areas so any help they can get will help.

    Your friend is likely not entitled to nhs patient transport so would have to go in a staff car or pay for a taxi. So no, you're not wrong saying no when she's not even a relative, but it is reasonable that the home will ask if they are understaffed.
  • paddy's_mumpaddy's_mum Forumite
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    How very unfair of the carer to ask you this in front of others. How to make an old lady feel unwanted...

    Perhaps you could demonstrate how it feels by asking the same carer on your next visit to discuss her contraception history, with you, in front of other people.
  • 74jax74jax Forumite
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    How very unfair of the carer to ask you this in front of others. How to make an old lady feel unwanted...

    Perhaps you could demonstrate how it feels by asking the same carer on your next visit to discuss her contraception history, with you, in front of other people.

    I think that is ridiculous. Why would she do that, its of no interest to her...

    She visited a friend, was asked if she could take her to a hospital appointment. A simple - but firm - no. She was then asked again if someone who could drive could take her, this I think is out of order and not done in private. However again 'no sorry you'll just have to sort' will do.

    No need to ask what contraception they use.... Ridiculous.

    You could also have the same where someone mentions 'ooo the carer took me to a hospital appointment the day' and the friend feels miffed she wasn't asked to help out.

    Mountains, molehills.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • choillechoille Forumite
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    Well, the lady was left to feel a nuisance & I felt embarrassed and guilty so maybe in your book it is mountains out of mole hills but I just posted to get an idea if it was the homes responsibility and to get a perspective on it.
  • paddy's_mumpaddy's_mum Forumite
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    74jax wrote: »

    Mountains, molehills.

    It wasn't a molehill to the old lady nor to the OP and probably won't be to the carer if her managers ask her to explain the lack of discretion/privacy issue.

    Perhaps you also missed that word 'perhaps' in my earlier reply.

    Of course it would be ridiculous to genuinely get into a discussion about someone's contraception history but my point was that the carer might in the future be a little more aware of how questions which put someone on the spot can be, and often are, intrusive, insensitive and potentially hurtful.
  • 74jax74jax Forumite
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    choille wrote: »
    Well, the lady was left to feel a nuisance & I felt embarrassed and guilty so maybe in your book it is mountains out of mole hills but I just posted to get an idea if it was the homes responsibility and to get a perspective on it.

    I'm totally with you, out of order to ask in front of people and to push it with you. I even said further up I didn't even take my dad and I was only 90mins away, you shouldn't feel guilty.

    My mountain molehills was aimed at asking the care worker what contraception she was on.... This I don't relate to the problem at all. I personally don't get why you would want to ask (yes I know you didn't suggest it) . I do however understand why the care home would ask if you could take a friend to a hospital appointment. However the moment you said no should have been the end of it.

    I honestly don't think you need ask about there contraception to make a point ....
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • dinkypoo19dinkypoo19 Forumite
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    FIL is in a similarly priced nursing home. He's been there almost 5 years now. He is transported to hospital appointments on a trolley in an ambulance. The home ask if hubby or I want to travel in the ambulance with him. If we are not available, they charge us £20 for a member of staff to travel with him.
  • choillechoille Forumite
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    74jax wrote: »
    I'm totally with you, out of order to ask in front of people and to push it with you. I even said further up I didn't even take my dad and I was only 90mins away, you shouldn't feel guilty.

    My mountain molehills was aimed at asking the care worker what contraception she was on.... This I don't relate to the problem at all. I personally don't get why you would want to ask (yes I know you didn't suggest it) . I do however understand why the care home would ask if you could take a friend to a hospital appointment. However the moment you said no should have been the end of it.

    I honestly don't think you need ask about there contraception to make a point ....

    Of course I would never ask anyone about contraception they used or any other personal question. I'm not that sort of person.
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